I tried to invite my 9yo to her friend's party but ended up ruining the day

"After I told another mum she was the only girl not invited from their class, she decided to boycott the party in solidarity. But she wasn't the only one."

A mum has been left questioning whether or not she is in the wrong for “potentially ruining” her daughter’s friend’s birthday party after trying to get her daughter invited. 

The debacle unfolded after her nine-year-old found out she wasn’t invited to her friend Addy’s birthday party through a mutual friend, Sarah. 

Every single one of their friends in their grade was invited and to make matters worse it’s such a small school that there are only 11 kids in her grade. 

It made so little sense that Sarah’s mum suggested it was just an honest mistake and told her to reach out to Addy's mum to check.  

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

RELATED: Restaurant charges $50 fee ‘for adults unable to parent’

The other mum "didn't expect her to find out" her daughter wasn't invited

“I was hesitant at first because I do have strong feelings about inviting yourself to things. I couldn’t see a real reason why she wasn’t invited since it was an at-home party and every other friend was,” the woman said in her post. 

So she decided to text the mum only to find out that they had hired someone to do a spa for the kids and the service had a limit of 10, so "unfortunately" just one person wouldn’t be able to come. 

Ouch.

The worst part? The mum told the OP that she “didn’t expect her to find out.”

“I responded that I understood but felt it was wrong to not include just one,” the woman continued. 

When Sarah’s mum reached out to the OP for an update, she sent her the screenshot of the conversation. 

“She didn’t respond for a few days but when she did she told me she had decided Sarah wouldn’t attend. She felt it was wrong to not include just one child and she could understand if our kids didn’t get along or had drama but that wasn’t the case. They hired someone knowing just one girl would be left out and she didn’t agree with it.”

But that wasn’t the end of the boycotting. 

“I get a text from Addy’s mum a week later that a total of four girls were not attending. She felt I had ruined her daughter's party and was creating drama. I explained that I had no intentions of ruining her party and had only spoken to one other mum about it.”

Now she’s wondering if she was out of line for reaching out to Addy’s mum in the first place and whether she should have just left it. 

Image: IStock

RELATED: My 5yo wants to change his name to his bio dad’s

"This is unnecessarily cruel"

Luckily, commenters got behind the mum and assured her she did nothing wrong. Also, Sarah’s mum got a lot of shoutouts too!

“You don't exclude one kid from a party, it's unnecessarily cruel. Have only six sure, ten of 11 no and they shouldn't be surprised it's had consequences,” wrote one commenter. 

Another added: “I freaking love Sarah's mum. She has class. She didn't tolerate one girl being excluded in a small school/class/group. What an amazing woman. What an awesome spine she has.”

“Addy's mum knows there are 11 girls in the class and decided to go for the activity limited by not including one girl in,” said a third. 

And a fourth said: “Totally agree that Addy’s mum created the drama the moment she chose to leave just one child out. I can’t help but feel there’s an untold, mean-spirited reason behind it; I just can’t imagine any mum thinking this was an acceptable idea. I would never do something this unkind to a kid this age.”

Others disagreed though, with some saying the OP started drama as soon as she sent that screenshot to Sarah’s mum.

“You started it when you sent a screengrab between you and one person to a third person,” someone said. 

And then some said that ‘ESH’ or “Everyone Sucks Here”.

“Not inviting one girl in a class and expecting no one to find out is really, really dumb... Sending someone the screenshot of the conversation with the birthday girl’s mum is an AH move that is also pretty much guaranteed to start drama,” someone else concluded. 

This article was originally published in July 2023 and was updated in November 2023. 

Originally published as I tried to invite my 9yo to her friend's party but ended up ruining the day