I spent Xmas with my kids, now I'm desperate to leave them for work

"Can it honestly only be two weeks, when it feels like two entire eternities?" 

This Christmas break, I have had the pleasure of spending more than two full weeks at home with my toddlers.

To give you a sense of how that went, I’ve just double-checked that number - can it honestly only be two weeks, when it feels like two entire eternities?

In the leadup to the holidays, I was coming off a massive year: my second son was born in late 2023, so I spent 2024 learning how to juggle two kids as well as returning to work.  

So of course I was grateful for time at home with my family... right?

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"Broken my spirit"

I was so looking forward to the break.

A real holiday, complete with daytime napping, lazing around in the sun, and the occasional (or perhaps not so occasional) glass of wine to celebrate the fact that I’m no longer breastfeeding.  

I’m not sure why I was expecting that, because I have met my children before, and there is nothing about caring for them which involves any amount of “lazing”.   

Image: supplied

My two toddlers were completely out of their minds at Christmastime, hyped up on sugar (okay, that’s on me, but you try getting two kids through a Christmas dinner without bribing them with ice-cream) and presents (I blame Santa for this and abdicate all personal responsibility). 

Two toddlers whose carefully curated routine has simply ceased to exist due to daycare closures.

Two toddlers whose favourite game is to run around the kitchen counter pretending to be, respectively, a tiger and a bear, with roaring sound effects to match. 

Two toddlers who, for some reason (okay, all of the above reasons) have decided to change up their sleeping habits completely, which is a polite way of saying “they have stopped sleeping”. 

Two toddlers who, if I am honest, have destroyed attempts at a continued holiday vibe, and broken my spirit. 

Image: Supplied

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Out of my depth

Obviously, I have to give the usual disclaimers: I really like spending time with my boys. I think they’re hilarious and highly entertaining.

I’m no stranger to parenting my children, but I am - apparently - absolutely out of my depth when it comes to parenting with no breaks. 

And yes. To be clear, when I say “breaks”, I mean “my paid employment”. 

This Christmas break has been a true test of patience, because nobody has been at their best.

"Surviving on coffee and wits alone"

All of our usual distractions have been closed (I miss you, swimming lessons), on their own holidays (please come back, mum friends) or too crowded with other people on holidays to even contemplate (see you in March, Bondi Beach). 

And so we’ve played dress ups and done puzzles and played cars and done drawing.

We’ve splashed in the paddle pool.

We’ve visited every park in our neighbourhood fifty times.

We’ve started having more than one bath a day because, honestly, why not? 

Last week, when I wheeled two screaming kids to our local cafe for the third morning in a row, the owner gave me a knowing smile.

“This time of year is tough with little kids,” she said, and promised to make our babycinos as quickly as humanly possible. 

Which is lucky, because it’s the first week of January, and I am surviving on coffee and my wits alone. 

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I never thought I would say this, but I cannot wait to get back to work. 

Tomorrow morning, I will arrive at the office, and my lovely colleagues will ask if I had a restful break.

And I will tell them, in all sincerity, that I am more exhausted than I have ever been in my life. 

Then I will close the door of my office, dive into a backlog of 15,000 emails, and let my truly restful break begin.

Originally published as I spent Xmas with my kids, now I'm desperate to leave them for work