I got my granddaughter a DNA kit to finally put her out of her misery

"Why would her parents ban her from getting one? She had a lot of questions and to be honest, so did I."

Thanks to many stories on the internet, we know by now that at-home DNA kits are often bought for a bit of fun.

Then there are times when the stakes are high, and the truth can destroy a family and lives. A grandma has recently discovered this the hard way, after she bought a DNA kit for her "confused" granddaughter.

The result was expected, and devastating, leading to her being ostracized by her family for helping the girl discover her identity. But now the woman is wondering whether she was wrong to "interfere".

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

RELATED: I left my kids for two weeks and loved it

"She asked me to buy a DNA test"

Writing on Reddit, she says in a post called "AITA for giving my granddaughter a DNA test", grandma says:

"This is about my granddaughter Lindsey. Now Lindsey (15) has it rough being middle child and she looks different from her siblings. I truly was confused how she had blond curly hair while the rest of the family has dark hair.

"The issue came up when Lindsey told me her parents banned her from getting an Ancestry test. I told my son and DIL years ago that there was something fishy around her birth and she needs to know. They denied it and told me to leave it alone. Now Lindsey is in high school and she went to her biology teacher. To put it bluntly the teacher said it was odd for her to have some traits."

The teen was becoming more stressed with her questions, so she finally asked her grandmother to fund a DNA kit for her.

"Long story short she is not her mother's kid. My son got someone else pregnant and her bio mom gave her up," grandma reveals.

"This has blown up the family while Lindsey is pissed to being lied to, I am getting a ton of heat for getting her a DNA test. Now they won't talk to me which is making Lindsey even more mad at them."

Concluding her post, grandma adds defensively, " I am confused why a lot of Redditors are treating this like she is five and not 15. All I did was buy it she did all the paperwork and shipped it. It's not hard."

She also explains, " They were on the other side of the country when she was born and I met Lindsey when she was about six months old," so the daughter-in-law not being pregnant was easy to hide.

Image: iStock

RELATED: My teen’s going to a mixed sleepover; I’m suspicious

"People have a right to know"

The post attracted more than 2000 comments, making it clear heritage is an issue for many people.

Many reassured the grandmother, with the top comment reading: "Your son and his wife suck for lying to her until she is 15 about something so important and trying to keep lying to her even after she obviously started to question things.

"There are medical reasons a person might need to know what their genetics are/are not and if you hadn't helped her, she would have found out some other way. At least this way she knows she has one friend and ally who will be honest with her. Take care of each other during this difficult time."

Another agreed, adding: "People have a right to know their genetic heritage. Lying about adoption is linked to increased suicidal ideation, anxiety, and depression. You put her safety and comfort ahead of your son's preferences."

That person was also speaking from experience: "My grandparents helped my parents lie to me about my adoption and not only have I never forgiven any of them, I'm still in therapy over all of it."

Tragic tales like this one were shared multiple times, with the strong message being that identity is crucial to a human being; something which was agreed upon by even single parents who'd chosen donors.

However, there was some dissent:

"Bit out of the norm for the responses here, but you should have gone through your son/DIL and convinced them. Told them that the Biology teacher had highlighted that she had traits that didn't make sense etc. and convinced them that Lindsey was going to find out either way.

"It would have allowed them to find a way to tell her without it being forced on them angrily. A DNA test is the absolute worst way to be told. I'm sure they would have much rather told her than let her find out by a DNA test if that is what was coming.

"Even giving them a heads up that she had done a DNA test before you had the results would have worked. Instead you let her do the test, get the results and then blow up at the parents.

"Obviously they are also the assholes for not telling her when questions started coming, but they are in a much harder place to recover from now that she found out from a third party."

Could the grandmother have handled this better? Tell us what you think in the comments on Facebook.

Originally published as I got my granddaughter a DNA kit to finally put her out of her misery