The surprising trait that makes anyone more attractive

You catch more flies with honey

Think humour is the best way to the heart? Think again. A study of 4000 people has narrowed physical attraction down to this one trait.

Have you ever experienced the magic of a crush so powerful that their personality makes them even more physically attractive to you?

Well, now scientists have got proof that particular parts of a person’s personality have a direct impact on their hotness (ok, my words not theirs but you get the idea). According to a new study published in the British Journal of Social Psychology, people who are seen as kind and helpful are also considered better looking.

“Often, we use beauty metaphorically to describe admirable inner qualities, saying someone is ‘beautiful on the inside’,” study author Natalia Kononov from the University of Pennsylvania says. “I was curious to see if this perception has a basis in reality, whether kindness and generosity, qualities associated with inner beauty, actually influence how we perceive someone’s physical attractiveness.”

After working through 10 studies involving more than 4000 participants, Kononov and her fellow researchers came to the conclusion that this association isn’t just metaphorical, and that “beautiful acts do, indeed, lead us to see people as more beautiful”. 

Be kind and do it often

Unfortunately, doing a good deed just one time isn’t enough to boost your beauty. According to the research, the effect is strongest when kindness is part of the person’s usual behaviour, rather than a one-off act. So, if you’re looking to improve your appearance, go for sustained kindness over sporadic moments.

If you think humour is the way to the heart thing again. The study shows that acts of kindness, cooperation and helpfulness have an even stronger influence on attractiveness ratings than other positive and highly appealing traits like humour and intelligence.

Scientists also found that the sexiness of kindness is even greater if you’re into the person. Where a relationship is a possibility, people think of kind, cooperative and helpful individuals as more attractive, but if being together isn’t on the cards, the effect of kindness on perceived beauty diminishes. 

Kindness is even powerful enough to soften someone’s judgement of physical imperfections and make them less likely to focus on minor flaws. 

So, if you’re looking to improve your appearance, go for sustained kindness over sporadic moments. Image: Pexels

Is this a sign that we shouldn’t write prospective partners off too soon? 

Dr Jae West, who holds a PhD in psychology, wasn’t surprised at the results.

“I think there's an inherent desire to have people around us that make us feel safe, that we know are kind and caring, and that will have our best interests at heart,” she tells Body+Soul. “So when we have that motivational factor of wanting those kind people around us, we're actively trying to seek out those people, and so attractiveness is one of those factors that we want people around us that mimic our values, and so we find them more attractive.”

She also says the study is “absolutely” a sign that we shouldn't overlook a date too soon. 

“I think it's really important to give that time and space to see if something will naturally evolve, and your perceptions of someone do change over time,” Dr West explains. “So I think it's really, really important not just to throw the baby out with the bath water as soon as you don't feel that instantaneous attraction and fireworks. 

“So be patient. Allow yourself to formulate emotions over time. But put a time cap on it as well. If you're not feeling something with someone, even though you find them kind and good-hearted, it might mean that there's just someone else out there for you.”

Originally published as The surprising trait that makes anyone more attractive