Could the contraceptive pill affect who you're attracted to?

Can you blame your bad taste on your pill?

As if mood swings, weight gain, acne and nausea didn’t already make up a big enough list of side effects – could the contraceptive pill be playing a bigger role in attraction than we thought? 

The contraceptive pill has been widely used since the 1960s to successfully treat issues including irregular periods, skin concerns, migraines, endometriosis, polycystic ovary syndrome, and of course, as a form of birth control.

But, as it does best, TikTok is full of people debating whether the hormonal contraceptive is a godsend or the devil. Some say the pill helped them feel less anxious, increased their sex drive and cleared their skin. Others say their mental health plummeted, their emotions felt numbed, they lost their libido and their acne was worse than ever while taking it.

But one supposed side effect you may not have heard of is people reporting they stopped being attracted to their partner after coming off the pill.

Please don’t let this make you rush to stop taking your birth control. Your GP is always the best source of medical advice, and I’m not a fan of telling people what’s best for their body. Plus, hormonal birth control does have many benefits for many people – telling people it’s poison does seem a bit much. 

But can you cite coming off the pill as the reason you woke up one day and realised the man you’ve been seeing really isn’t the guy for you? Or was it just the cumulative effect of your friends begging you to do better? 

While research into the pill and its side effects is lacking, several researchers in the last decade have tried to figure out how hormonal contraception affects us – beyond the usual effects listed on the side of the packet. 

Can you cite coming off the pill as the reason you woke up one day and realised the man you’ve been seeing really isn’t the guy for you? Image: iStock.

Testing the science of attraction

Florida State graduate student Michelle Russell authored a 2014 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, where she asked 118 heterosexual couples who met while the woman was on hormonal contraception to cease taking it. 

As Russel told Time “Women who choose a partner when they’re on hormonal contraceptives and then stop taking them will prioritise their husband’s attractiveness more than they would if they were still on it.”

A 2019 study published in Evolutionary Psychological Science also concluded that the pill can change who we’re attracted to. Researchers said ‘hormonal contraceptives change women’s natural mate preferences, leading them to prefer nurturing but less genetically compatible men.

So what other side effects of the pill are people pointing out for its impact on sexual and romantic attraction?

Women who choose a partner when they’re on hormonal contraceptives and then stop taking them will prioritise their husband’s attractiveness more than they would if they were still on it. Image: Pexels

Decreased libido 

Women on TikTok have also blamed libido changes linked to the pill for their loss of attraction to a partner. This includes decreased libido making it difficult for them to be interested in almost anyone, or struggles related to them and their partner having different sex drives.

Obstetrician and gynaecologist Dr Alyssa Dweck told Glamour that while the pill can lower libido as “there's less circulating testosterone”, you may also “just be bored” in your relationship. 

Libido changes linked to the pill have been blamed by women on TikTok for their loss of attraction to their partner. Image: iStock

Physical preferences

Some studies claim the pill may affect who we find attractive, claiming that ovulating women prefer more masculine men. 

When choosing the features they found most attractive on digital images of male faces, women who weren’t on the pill appeared to prefer men with more “masculine” features than women who were taking oral contraceptives. The research team working on a study published in Psychoneuroendocrinology journal attributed this to evolution and biology, saying the results showed women off the pill preferred ‘a trait associated with mate-quality’.  

The validity of this theory is still uncertain though, as these findings have been dismissed in other studies.

Some studies claim the pill may affect who we find attractive, claiming that ovulating women prefer more masculine men. Image: Unsplash

Altered moods

We know the pill can affect our mood – that's one side effect that is accounted for on the side of the packet. Women taking the pill have reported a broad variety of emotional changes after starting the contraception, from alleviated anxiety to exacerbated depression.

Psychiatry professor Jayashri Kulkarni from Monash University thinks the pill ‘could be to blame’ for some Australian women’s level of depression.

She told The Conversation that laboratory neuroscience studies have shown oestrogen and progesterone, the “female hormones”, which most versions of the pill contain, greatly influence neurochemistry, brain function and the activity of neurotransmitters such as gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA), serotonin and dopamine. This can cause depression, behaviour changes and disturbances in cognition.

Women taking the pill have reported a broad variety of emotional changes after starting the contraception. Image: iStock

Low self-worth and loneliness related to depression can make us crave affection and drive us to make less-than-desirable choices, too. So could your loss of attraction towards your partner be chalked up to changes to your mental health? 

Sydney-based general practitioner Dr Sam Saling doesn’t think going “on or off the pill alters attraction, rather mood, which would influence being in the right headspace to meet and interact with new potential partners.”

“From a hormonal point of view, [the pill] definitely can unmask pre-existing premenstrual dysphoric disorder [PMDD], as the pill is a treatment for this, and can either improve or worsen other mood disorders, so this absolutely has a marked effect on mood and emotional regulation,” she told Body+Soul.

From a hormonal point of view, [the pill] definitely can unmask pre-existing premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Image: Pexels

Why it's difficult for researchers to know for sure 

There are so many different types of hormonal contraceptives, and their effect on each person is different. This can make it extremely difficult to know for certain if some symptoms are linked to the pill. 

There is also a lack of research into the psychological and behavioural effects of the contraceptive pill, and much of the existing research looks at the correlation between symptoms and the pill, rather than causation – whether the pill caused these symptoms to occur. 

The scope of a lot of the existing research is limited too, with the majority of these studies focusing on heterosexual couples.

There is also a lack of research into the psychological and behavioural effects of the contraceptive pill. Image: iStock

So can you blame the pill for making you rethink your attraction to your partner? The jury’s still out, but it's unlikely. 

At the end of the day, you know your body. If you’re concerned about symptoms you’re experiencing, speak with your doctor about what’s best for your health.

In an emergency please call 000.

If you or someone you know needs help, phone Lifeline on 13 11 14 or the 24- hour Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467.

Mental health professionals are available 24/7 at the beyondblue Support Service – 1300 22 46 36 or via beyondblue.org.au/get-support for online chat (3pm-12am AEST) or email response.

Originally published as Could the contraceptive pill affect who you're attracted to?