Review of The Broadbeach in Broadbeach

It has a striking fit-out and relaxed vibe, but the food at this newly refurbished bar in one of the Gold Coast’s hottest suburbs needs some serious attention.

If I had a spare napkin I would have spat it out.

The “it” I’m referring to is what was titled on the menu at the new The Broadbeach on the Gold Coast as “spiced pomegranate lamb” ($24).

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What I received, however, could only be described as a gag-inducing puddle of slop that tasted of uncooked tomato paste.

I didn’t know what upset me more: the fact a lamb had lost its life to be turned into this crime against cooking, or that I had just swallowed a mouthful of it.

The only plus was that I hadn’t had to wait an entire hour for it, as was conservatively warned by the patient and accommodating girl behind the counter taking the orders.

The menu promised chargrilled chicken in the poke bowl, but that’s not what was delivered.

It was peak school holiday season during my visit and the newly renovated former sports bar at the base of the Oasis shopping centre was heaving with hungry diners told of 60-minute delays for meals.

While you would have been lucky to catch a few pokie devotees and young guys after a cheap pint in there before, the tropical-meets-industrial refurbishment, which includes a sleek new central bar, touches of greenery, timber and a lengthy new deck with views across the road to the beach, has brought a fresh demographic to the venue.

The spiced pomegranate lamb at The Broadbeach in Broadbeach.

If their food was anywhere near as bad as mine, whether they return, however, is unlikely.

The lamb dish my friend likened to “casserole in a can” tied for the worst dish I’ve eaten in more than a decade of restaurant reviewing, but it wasn’t the only train wreck.

The chicken poke bowl was only marginally better. The protein was described on the menu as chargrilled, but our pieces of poultry didn’t appear to have come within a javelin toss of a grill - pale, insipid and coated in an indistinguishable white sauce. The rest of the bowl was completely undressed, just piles of raw rocket, julienned carrot, halved cherry tomatoes, sliced jalapeño and shelled pistachios.

The crunchy coating on the chicken karaage was a rare high point.

This wasn’t cooking - this was putting chopped up things in a bowl and charging a ridiculous $22 for the privilege.

The best thing we ate from the pub-style menu, which also included pizzas, salads, pasta, steaks, pies and fish and chips, was the karaage chicken ($16), which isn’t saying much as our version was overcooked and dry. Though points do have to be given for the crunchy coating, which was at least akin to KFC.

At the bar, Lion Nathan runs the beer taps which means the likes of XXXX, Carlton and Toohey’s New, while there are a few more varieties by the bottle, alongside liquor store-favourite wines.

They do have a decent array of spirits in stock, particularly gin, but unfortunately our bartender wasn’t sure how to turn any of them into the drinks listed on their signature cocktail list.

An absolute bomb has been spent on the new fit-out and The Broadbeach does have a good vibe, you just couldn’t pay me to eat there again.

THE BROADBEACH

Address Oasis Shopping Centre, Old Burleigh Rd, Broadbeach

Phone [phone]

Web broadbeachtavern.com.au

Open Daily 10am-5am (kitchen 11.30am-8.30pm)

VERDICT

Food 3

Service 6

Ambience 7

Value 6

OVERALL SCORE 5.5