Brisbane dating: The best ways to meet a man in Brisbane

Single women outnumber single men in Brisbane by 44,000. Yikes! To help the ladies out, Brooke Falvey threw herself back into Brisbane’s dating scene to uncover the best ways to make a match, and potentially find love.

Man drought. These two words strike fear in the hearts of most 30-something single women, myself included.

Not because we aren’t happy being single *cough, cough*, but because when push comes to shove, the prospect of there not being enough fellas to go around tends to induce the same panic as a rush on the latest “it” shelving system or velvet occasional chair at Kmart.

But does the man drought really exist? Apparently it does.

Figures from the Australian Bureau of Statistics show that for every 100 women, there are 97.8 men.

Analysts from comparison website Finder trawled through census data (like a single on Bumble the day before Valentine’s Day) and found there were 689,000 singles in Brisbane alone, with 1.37 million across Queensland.

Brisbane News columnist Brooke Falvey. Picture: Renae Droop/RDW Photography

If you split the Brisbane-based singletons by sex, women draw the short straw, outnumbering men by 44,000 – enough to fill more than four-fifths of Suncorp Stadium.

But it’s not all bad news.

Finder also helpfully identified the suburbs where you’ll find the highest number of single men and women, and they’re on opposite sides of the river – Dutton Park for men, and Albion for the women. Helpful information when househunting.

Thanks to the rise of online dating apps, it’s supposedly easier than ever to find a prospective mate – but what if you’re looking for a little old-fashioned face-to-face interaction?

To help my fellow singletons out, I took one for the team and threw myself (somewhat reluctantly) back into Brisbane’s dating scene so I could uncover the best ways to make a match, and potentially find the love of your life.

Let’s just say, you owe me a cocktail.

BUMBLE

Best for: Those who see dating as a numbers game. Also for women who have a good variety of opening lines in their dating arsenal. My personal favourite: “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice.” I’ll let you use it.

How it works: Bumble is a free online dating app built on the same model as Tinder, but with a twist­ – women have 24 hours to start a conversation once a “match” has been made. You can also voice or video call within the app so there’s no need to give out your number too soon, and Bumble will give you a heads up if your match tries to send the dreaded “D” pic.

Whitney Wolfe Herd, co-founder of Tinder, founded Bumble shortly after leaving. Photo: Taylor Hill/FilmMagic

Who you’ll meet: With 70 million users worldwide, including three million in Australia, you’ll likely see everyone who is single within your ideal location range. Don’t be shocked to find a relative, former partner or your friend’s recently separated husband on there. If you do, swipe left (because baby llama says no to drama).

What happens: Swipe. Match. Chat. If you’re lucky, you’ll make it to a date. But ghosting is notorious from both sexes.

Success rate: Australian women have made the first move 47 million times and more than 550 million messages have been sent through the app in Australia since its launch in 2016. Plus, I have friends who met their boyfriends through Bumble.

Verdict: I have friends who love it, and there are others (myself included) who think most people use it for an ego boost while bingeing on Netflix on a Saturday night, with little intention of meeting their matches. Although word on the street is all the cool kids have now jumped over to the newer app, Hinge.

Top tip: Message your matches between 8pm and 10pm – it’s the ideal time for connections, according to the BeeHive (Bumble HQ).

Details: Bumble is available for iPhone and Android devices. It’s free to join, although it’s hard to quantify the cost to your soul. You can upgrade your profile to “Bumble Boost” ($32.99 a month or $139.99 for a lifetime membership) to access premium features.

CITYSWOON

Best for: People who are tired of spending weeks interacting via a screen and prefer a little face-to-face action to assess personality, body language and chemistry.

How it works: Part dating app and part speed dating, CitySwoon claims to match you with

like-minded people, with free drinks and snacks thrown in to soften the blow of leaving your couch to meet a bunch of strangers. Events geared to specific age brackets (eg 38-48) are staged at various venues across the city.

Who you’ll meet: Guys you may not encounter in your day-to-day life. The night I went there was (among others) a musician, a misogynist and a missionary who wouldn’t make eye contact with any of the women. Not the kind of guys I’d match with of my own accord, but that’s the point.

What happens:

It’s a speed dating scavenger hunt. Instead of progressing down a line of dates, you’re paired with your matches via text messages with their name and a photo and you have to find them in the crowd. Sounds easy, but let’s be honest – how many people actually look like their photos? Each date lasts 12-15 minutes.

CitySwoon uses science to match people, depending on their likes and dislikes. Photo: Naomi Jellicoe

Success rate: Since launching in Brisbane in September 2015, CitySwoon claims to have matched more than 5000 local singles on more than 43,000 matched dates at events thanks to the “in-person chemistry” factor.

Verdict: If CitySwoon matches people using an “intelligent chemistry and compatibility algorithm”, I can’t imagine why it sent a missionary my way. On the upside, out of the eight men I dated, four were nice; the chats came easily, we shared some laughs and most suggested we catch up at the bar at the end of the event. As for the others, let’s just say 15 minutes felt like an hour. Would I do it again? Probably. It was a fun night (the drinks and finger food helped), and most of the people seemed to betaking it for what it was – a chance to take things offline and meet people IRL.

Top tips: First impressions matter and you only have a short time to talk to each date, so it’s important to be your best self. Also take a single girlfriend as it never hurts to have a wing woman to trade stories and high-fives with when you’re done.

Details: You can sign up and fill out an online CitySwoon profile for free. A three-month membership costs $119.70 (unlimited online dates and discounted event tickets). Non-member event tickets start at $49. CitySwoon events are held are various locations around Brisbane.

IDEAL INTRODUCTIONS

Best for: Gals who have already picked out the church, dress and just need that other essential ingredient – the “right” partner – and a hand in finding him. Also for those who like the idea of someone else navigating the choppy waters of the dating pool on their behalf.

How it works: Clients must have been single for at least 12 months before signing up and be “emotionally available”. After being interviewed by a matchmaker, you’ll be set up with potential love matches. But this isn’t a Married At First Sight dinner party – alcohol and kissing are both frowned upon on the first date in favour of an old-school approach best described as “wooing”. As well as matchmaking, you’ll also receive personalised relationship coaching; stuff like how to arrange a date, what to wear, topics to avoid (such as past relationships) and how to end the date. The man pays on the date, although by date three (if you get that far) women are advised to “offer” to pay, though the man should politely decline. It’s all very 1950s.

Linda Prescott, is the owner/matchmaker of Ideal Introductions. Pic Mark Calleja

Who you’ll meet: There is a hefty mix of professionals and business owners on the books at Ideal Introductions, and chances are they’ll be a divorcee, as 63 per cent of members have previously been married. Given members spent anywhere from $500 to $5000 to sign up, they’re pretty serious when it comes to finding love.

What happens: You’ll meet a matchmaker (in my case, Linda) one-on-one and thoroughly discuss your relationship history (eek!), experiences, core values and the style of person you want to meet (hello Ryan Reynolds). They’ll then match you with like-minded, emotionally available people. No big deal, right? Also, each first date is a blind date because you won’t see a photo beforehand, you’ll just receive a quick five minute rundown on what they do, what they’re looking for and why you’re a match.

Success rate: Ideal Introductions has chalked up 1275 weddings (that they know of) since opening in 1991.

Verdict: While this probably isn’t the best option for control freaks, if you’re willing to let go, embrace the process and have a little fun, you might be surprised at what a good time you’ll have. But don’t expect a quick turnaround – this is all about the long game, so nothing is rushed. It took a few weeks for Linda to make my first match, but after years of dealing with swiping, ghosting, breadcrumbing, and the like, it was fun to hand over the task of finding a date to someone else. Plus, when I didn’t want to see them again, Linda took care of that awkward conversation for me. No luck on the two dates I went on sadly, but Linda is keeping me on the books … so watch this space.

Top tip: Take a deep breath and go with the flow.

Details: Packages start at $495.