Your night in: Every Movie Tonight on Melbourne TV

From a disaster epic that’s guilty-pleasure gold to an intensely gripping murder mystery, here’s which movies on TV tonight you should be watching and which ones you should avoid.

Tom Cruise plays Jack Reacher in film Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.

JACK REACHER: NEVER GO BACK (M)

**1/2

8.30pm Ch. 7

In his first, self-titled movie from 2012, Jack Reacher bore only a passing resemblance to that lone-wolf righter of wrongs from the many books by pulp author Lee Child. Whether this was due to the against-type casting of Tom Cruise, or the overall glum’n’grubby mood of the picture, one thing was truly certain: the only way was up after such a downer of a start. Therefore news that Never Go Back achieves a minor, but marked improvement over its predecessor is worth noting. Plotting here is as gruffly generic as Jack himself. A bonkers federal conspiracy sees Jack redrafted back into the army against his will, so he can be court-martialed for (sigh) a murder he didn’t commit. Naturally, Jack grants himself bail, and embarks on a reckless run-for-it towards New Orleans at mardi gras time – as you do – in the company of a disgraced officer who might be his next girlfriend (Cobie Smulders), and a dishevelled teen who might be his long-lost daughter (Danika Yarosh). **1/2

2012 (M)

***

8.30pm 7MATE

Ladies and gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure: the end of the world as we know it. Again. The makers of this enjoyably crap-tabulous new disaster epic have tried before to total the planet with feelbad box-office smashes like Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. This time, they’re in no hurry to wreck the joint. So allow a touch over 2-1/2 hours to discover if mankind can survive the mother of all mega-tsunamis. The big fun to be had here is what happens while you await our fate: stunning sequences of widespread devastation on a scale almost too large to comprehend. Don’t bother with the story. Once the San Andreas fault cracks it and California slides into the sea, the jaw-dropping cataclysms just keep on coming. Guilty-pleasure gold. Stars John Cusack.

A young Matthew McConaughey and Sandra Bullock star in the 1996 film "A Time To Kill".

A TIME TO KILL (M)

***

8.40pm GEM

Better grab those homemade wigs and gavels, because here comes another ripping, one-size-fits-all slab of legal eaglery from the platinum paperback pen of John “you can buy my collected works at any airport newsagent” Grisham. The setting is America’s deep south, where the necks are red, the right are white, and a black steelworker (Samuel L. Jackson) is unlikely to get a fair trial for killing the two thugs that raped his young daughter. Enter one good-looking young defence lawyer (Matthew McConaughey) and his equally attractive consulting counsel (Sandra Bullock) to remove justice’s blindfold.

UNDER SIEGE (M)

**1/2

7.30pm GO!

History may record that this was the movie that Steven Seagal parted company with his trademark ponytail for, but we should also not forget just how gripping this *Die Hard at Sea* action thriller proves to be when the chips are down. Seagal is the navy short-order cook who saves the world by punching his way up the pecking order of the mercenary villains in control of his ship. Then our hero finally comes face-to-face with the baddest dudes of ‘em all, Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey. Go for it, Steve!

THE FIFTH ELEMENT (PG)

**

9.10pm VICE

Bruce Willis stars in this expensively-produced sci-fi meddle as a New York aerial taxi driver who alone can stop the Earth from being crushed by a comet-like superplanet of pure evil. The whole movie is stamped by an incredibly dazzling level of intricate visual detail, but blows its chances by trying to tell too many stories at once. Can only be likened to watching a great-looking video game being played with nobody at the controls. The brains behind The Fifth Element would have been better off adding a sixth element – common sense – to the plot, and allowing it to form a bridge between the film’s fantastic visual appeal and its ramshackle plot.

TELL NO ONE (MA 15+)

****

8.30pm WORLD MOVIES

A widowed French doctor starts receiving coded e-mails from his long-dead wife. Could she still be alive? Or is someone messing with his head? An intensely gripping and defiantly baffling murder mystery, with enough twists, turns, shock revelations and audacious about-faces to fill many Hollywood thrillers. While this busy affair certainly drives a hard bargain throughout, few will argue the final pay-off isn’t a fair return. ****

Scarlett Johansson, Azhy Robertson and Adam Driver in a scene from the movie Marriage Story. Supplied by Netflix.

YOUR NIGHT IN: Three movie picks for streaming or rental to get you through the evening

MARRIAGE STORY (M)

****1/2

NETFLIX

Somehow – in a manner often bordering on the miraculous – this unsparing portrait of the contemporary divorce process will show you much more of a good time than you could possibly have bargained for. It all starts with two powerhouse performances from Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver, both of whom became Oscars contenders as a result. They play the perfect New York couple – he is a successful stage director, she is his creative muse – about to face up to the imperfections of their union in a Los Angeles that might as well be a foreign country. Nicole (Johansson) has moved west to reignite the career she put on hold to get married. Charlie (Driver) keeps jetting west, initially in the hope of saving his family, then reluctantly to continue waging a custody battle over their only child. Boosted by some of the year’s best writing, this extraordinary movie will merrily break your heart, then solemnly repair it, over and over again.

US (MA15+)

****

FOXTEL

This trippy exercise in enigmatic terror is the second feature from American writer-director Jordan Peele, whose unheralded debut Get Out was a global box-office sensation in 2017. Like that unforgettably eerie movie, Us is best classified as horror with a lot more on its mind than merely scaring you. However, this time around, Peele’s approach is not as linear. His new work drifts in and out of conscious coherency, almost lulling us to sleep for one reason, then jolting us awake with another. Whatever you do, don’t come armed with much advance knowledge. The woozy, disturbing spell cast by Us loses power if you know what’s coming. The basic plot involves a family of four taking a long weekend at the coast. The mother, Adelaide (a wonderful Lupita Nyong’o), doesn’t like the location, as she stayed there unhappily as a child. Adelaide’s misgivings multiply when paid a surprise visit by a family too much like her own for anyone’s comfort. A movie that plays a winning mind game, even if you’re never sure of the rules.

THE LAST CASTLE (M)

***

NETFLIX

A welcome return to streaming for an underrated guilty-pleasure flick. What could have been one very average prison drama is elevated to something much more entertaining thanks to a single plot twist, which sees the inmates-versus-the-guards battle take place in a military jail. Robert Redford (as a court-martialled war hero) and The Sopranos’ James Gandolfini (as a cruel, unhinged warden) serve up an enthralling acting duel, even if credibility is stretched to breaking point by a ludicrous finale. Soul-stirringly silly feelbad fun.

Originally published as Your night in: Every Movie Tonight on Melbourne TV