Your Night In: Every movie on TV tonight in Melbourne rated
There’s something for everyone on TV this weekend with over 30 movies to choose from. From action, to romance to something for the kids, let us help you find something to watch.
Weekly Guide
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FRIDAY
HACKSAW RIDGE
****
8:30 PM CHANNEL 7
A harrowing and highly impacting war drama from Mel Gibson, reclaiming his mantle as a compelling filmmaking talent after a lengthy absence from behind the camera. The central focus is on the 1945 Battle of Okinawa, the most telling and terrifying flashpoint in the Pacific during America’s WWII clashes with Japan. Unusually, Gibson frames the ensuing blood-soaked spectacle through the remarkable actual experience of a soldier whose only reason to be there was to save lives, and not take them. US army medic Desmond Doss (played by Andrew Garfield) famously survived a punishing two-day period at the height of fighting without once picking up a weapon to defend himself. Instead, this devoutly religious conscientious objector single-handedly carried 75 wounded men from his company to safety, miraculously avoiding unrelenting attacks from the enemy. Away from its quieter, more conventional stretches, Hacksaw Ridge raises the battlefield realism stakes above and beyond the ferocious mark set by Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan. Co-stars Sam Worthington, Luke Bracey, Teresa Palmer.
X-MEN: FIRST CLASS
***1/2
7:30 PM 7 MATE
The X-Men franchise was in disrepair when this barnstorming blockbuster happened along. Just in time, as it turned out. The film sets a fast and furious pace in its early stretches, catapulting viewers back to the early 1960s, where future foes Professor X (James McAvoy) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) are best friends battling a common enemy. If that plot synopsis sounds crazy on first impressions, just wait until you see how it ties in with the famous Cuban missile crisis of 1962. Factor in top-notch special effects and a spectacularly gripping finale, and you’ve got one of the better X-Men titles before you. Directed by Matthew Vaughn (Kick-Ass). Co-stars Rose Byrne, Jennifer Lawrence, Kevin Bacon.
THE WOLVERINE
***
10:10 PM 7 MATE
Another solo outing for that metal-clawed, mutton-chopped X-Men mutant Wolverine (aka Logan) turns out to be something of a return to form. Never absolutely essential, but never a waste of your precious time. The story unfolds largely in Japan, where Logan (a ripped and sombre Hugh Jackman) has emerged from years of exile to do battle with the Yakuza, some ninja archers and every freelance hit man in the land. Yep, it is mostly a fight movie, occasionally a chase movie, and that it is all. Set-piece combat sequences range from quite good to truly great. A heart-stopping five-minute scrap on the roof of a bullet train is one of the great stand-alone action scenes of the past decade.
ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS
***
6:45 PM 7 FLIX
An engaging third instalment in the hit series of animated comedies about a group of oddball prehistoric creatures. Our furry’n’funny heroes venture to warmer climes underground, where they encounter all kinds of dinosaurs that have somehow escaped extinction. As has been the case with the earlier pictures, Ice Age 3 maintains a light and breezy feel that viewers under high-school age will find most agreeable indeed. The vocal cast, led by Ray Romano and Queen Latifah, work together very well, with new recruit Simon Pegg proving to be an inspired addition to the team.
YOU’VE GOT MAIL
**1/2
8:30 PM 7 FLIX
Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan smooched it up as sugar-coated sweethearts in 1993’s Sleepless in Seattle, and then delivered more of the same just five years later with You’ve Got Mail. Therefore this twee tale of lovers, love letters and longing on the internet is tailor-made for hopeless romantics of all shapes and sizes. Everyone else should put a line through this goody-goody gumdrop of a pic as quickly as possible, or risk being sucked into the black hole of Meg Ryan’s dainty dimples.
ROBIN HOOD
***
8:30 PM CHANNEL 9
A regular figure on movie screens since the silent era, Robin Hood is back yet again. But not in his usual guise. If you’re after the basics of the famous Mr Hood — you know, robbing from the rich, giving to the poor, and so on — you’ve come to the wrong film. This epic reboot of the enduring medieval legend from director Ridley Scott winds the clock back to the years before the title character earned his reputation as “the prince of thieves.” As played convincingly by Australian star Russell Crowe, this Robin Hood evolves from lowly soldier of fortune to high-minded social justice crusader across the complex tale outlined here. Cate Blanchett co-stars as Lady Marian Loxley, the foxiest widow in Nottingham. A solid, if slightly dour affair.
ROCKY BALBOA
***
11:10 PM CHANNEL 9
The sixth time into the ring for Sylvester Stallone’s over-sequel-ised simpleton boxer is not without its charm, particularly once fight night arrives in the closing act. If you can somehow get over the ridiculous fact that Rocky (now 60 and running a restaurant) is going toe-to-toe with the current world heavyweight champ, there is some big, dumb fun to be had here. Co stars Burt Young, Geraldine Hughes.
THE BOSS BABY
**
7:30 PM GO!
The casting of Alec Baldwin as the voice of a conniving, corporate infant in this animated comedy for children seems like an inspired move. Until you hear it. All novelty value mined from Baldwin putting blunt business-speak in the mouth of a cute little bubba is spent very quickly here indeed. The filmmakers of The Boss Baby appear to have forgotten that their target audience is primary schoolers hopped up on fizzy drinks and sugar snacks. That lot couldn’t give a hoot the title role went to the guy currently famous for impersonating Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live. So much space is cleared for Baldwin to do the brusque-brat in-nappies thing that the rest of The Boss Baby often feels quite cramped and cluttered. That means the hopes of a relatively ambitious plot (involving an overimaginative seven-year-old child discovering a secret organisation exclusively run by babies) are dashed from too early on. Mark this down as a mild let- down, and move on.
THE GREAT TRAIN ROBBERY
***1/2
9:45 PM GEM
A top film from the late Sean Connery’s ‘lost’ period. The Great Scot spent over a decade trying to dissolve his stereotyping as the original James Bond, and this 19th century heist pic was an important step along the way towards Connery achieving respect and popularity on his own terms. Two things worth noting here. Connery did almost all of his own stunts on this pic, mastering the difficult task of staying upright on an steam-powered express moving at speeds of more than 100 km/hr. Secondly, the director here is Michael Crichton, who also penned the best-selling novel on which this film is based. Co-starring Donald Sutherland and Lesley-Anne Down.
JASPER JONES
**1/2
11:45 PM SBS
Australian author Craig Silvey’s much-loved 2009 novel Jasper Jones doesn’t quite get the screen adaptation many fans were hoping for. Uneven plotting and unnecessary tweaks to what made the book so great holds the movie back. The year is 1969. Christmas has just been and gone in a tiny West Australian town. Any lingering festive spirit is obliterated by news a local teenage girl has gone missing. Sensing he will be the prime suspect of the cops, a young indigenous lad named Jasper (Aaron McGrath) enlists the help of naive teen Charlie (Levi Miller) to crack the case themselves. The film often feels uncertain of both when to show restraint, and when to cut loose. There is charm to spare in the lighter moments. However, when it comes to nailing down the finer, more intricate details of Silvey’s tale — which can go to some intriguingly dark places — the impact is muted at best. Co-stars Toni Collette, Hugo Weaving, Angourie Rice.
RABBIT-PROOF FENCE
*****
9:30 PM WORLD MOVIES
A landmark Australian film in more ways than one. Without taking a tub-thumping stance, Rabbit-Proof Fence subtly shifts the ongoing Stolen Generation debate to where it should have been all along : as a tragic humanitarian riddle that still eludes a fathomable answer. The setting is Western Australia in the early 1930s, where the law decrees that Aboriginal children of mixed caste must be separated from their parents and relocated to white assimilation facilities that are little more than organised holding pens. It is from one such hellhole — the infamous Moore River Settlement — that three determined young girls escape, with no objective other than to return to their mothers at Jigalong, some 2000 km to the north-west. Guiding Molly (Everlyn Sampi), Gracie (Laura Monaghan) and Daisy (Tianna Sansbury) towards home is a tatty wire fence that stretches endlessly across the outback.
WOMAN AT WAR
***
11:15 PM WORLD MOVIES
Rare as it is to see a film from Iceland down this way, it is even more unique to stumble upon something defying categorisation at every turn. So it goes for an eccentric mishmash of life’s bigger issues and small details which certain, adventurous viewers will find irresistible. A busy screenplay centres on a 50-year-old woman named Halla (Halldora Geirharosdottir) and her clandestine campaign to impede activity at an aluminium smelter on her beloved island. In working hours, Halla lives deep undercover as a cheery choir director. Off the clock, the real Halla emerges: a maverick ecowarrior using any means necessary to sabotage a project accelerating the ruin of a once-pristine environment. Just as Halla is a woman of many interests and moods, so too is the movie. One minute, it can be a quirky, almost surreal comedy, complete with random musical interludes. The next it can be all about the serious business of changing minds before the climate changes. Not all of it works, but what does, works wonders.
SATURDAY
LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
***1/2
7:30 PM CHANNEL 7
This is more like it. The second instalment in Peter Jackson’s ambitious annual series based on the beloved JRR Tolkien trilogy is a marked improvement upon the original in most departments. What Jackson’s storytelling lacks in coherency — a major problem for non-Tolkienites with the first film — he makes up for with a new-found sense of urgency and a richer blend of drama, humour and human emotion. The set-piece battle scenes are truly stunning, too. Two Towers also benefits from the introduction of the character “tricksy” people the world over just can’t get enough of: the weird and wonderful Gollum. Stars Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen.
ONLY THE BRAVE
***1/2
10:00 PM CHANNEL 7
A gripping true story of one of the deadliest wildfires in US history : the Yarnell Hill blaze that hit in Western Arizona in July 2013. Unusually, the filmmakers go out of their way to humbly humanise not just the celebrated members of the Granite Mountain Hotshots — the first rural firefighting crew ever licensed to tackle major-category blazes — but also their family and friends. By the time the natural disaster of Yarnell Hill is ramping up, both the risks facing these men and the fears eating away at their loved ones have been gracefully brought to the fore. The final impact courses deeper than this type of movie usually can. A superb ensemble cast is led by Josh Brolin, Jeff Bridges, Miles Teller and Jennifer Connelly.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN
***
7:00 PM 7FLIX
A rarity for a family-friendly sequel in that it enjoyably trumps the original in every department. Ben Stiller reprises his role as Larry, a former nightwatchman keeping tabs on museum exhibits that magically come to life each evening. In this fun, action-packed new adventure, Larry must rescue his secret friends after they have been shipped off to storage in another city. Much more funnier, focused and fast-paced than before, and the story sneaks a little historical interest into the mix when nobody’s looking. Hank Azaria steals the show as an evil pharaoh, but the whole ensemble (including Amy Adams, Owen Wilson and Steve Coogan) works together wonderfully.
MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
***
9:10 PM 7FLIX
Welcome aboard the Orient Express, departing 1934 Istanbul for Calais. Please be aware your journey will be interrupted by a lengthy stop on the side of a mountain. Primarily so that staff can deal with a sudden derailment in the wake of an avalanche. Oh, and also so that brilliant Belgian detective Hercule Poirot (Kenneth Branagh) can exactly identify who has recently murdered a fellow passenger. There are plenty of potential perps in this lavish new adaptation of author Agatha Christie’s classic whodunit, and a starry cast has been assembled to cough up their characters’ respective alibis. These include a sour old princess (Judi Dench), a sweet young governess (Daisy Ridley), a dubious academic (Willem Dafoe), a dutiful missionary (Penelope Cruz) and a slick-talking conman (Johnny Depp). It is difficult to mess up such a time-honoured crowd-pleaser, and though this showboating affair almost stuffs up the ending, the movie ticks enough of the right boxes to adequately satisfy the world’s many Poirot purists (and Christie crackpots).
ZOOKEEPER
**
7:30 PM CHANNEL 9
There are elements of this dipsy comedy for kids that work wonderfully well. Unfortunately none directly involve Zookeeper’s leading man Kevin James, who sluggishly serves up the same large-boned, lovelorn loser he played in his unlikely 2009 hit Paul Blart : Mall Cop. Let’s focus on the good stuff. Worried their best two-legged buddy is going to take a job elsewhere because he can’t find a good woman, the animals of a metropolitan zoo band together to dispense some quite amusing, species-specific dating advice. The voice cast wrangled for this madcap menagerie is in first-class form. Yes, they have all of the best lines, but they don’t mangle a single one. So take a bow, Adam Sandler (as a monkey, what else?), Judd Apatow (elephant), Jon Favreau (bear), Sylvester Stallone and Cher (married lions), Don Rickles (frog) and last, but not least, Nick Nolte (as a gorilla that goes to a bar to celebrate his birthday).
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE
***1/2
9:30 PM CHANNEL 9
A rare modern buddy action comedy that actually works. The party starts early, and never lets up once two former high school classmates are reunited in the days leading up to their alma mater’s 20-year reunion. One is a former star athlete now going through life’s motions as an accountant (Kevin Hart). The other was once a tubby train wreck, but is now a deceptively dangerous undercover agent (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson). While not the most promising set-up you could have for a typical comedy of opposites, the base storyline for Central Intelligence is nowhere near as important as the crackling chemistry shared by its two lead actors. Johnson and Hart immediately click as a comic duo, so much so that the warped repartee of their characters becomes the most addictive and effective component of the film. File under surprisingly, consistently funny.
CASINO ROYALE
****
8:45 PM GO!
A hard-edged and incredibly successful attempt to re-position the formerly camp James Bond closer to the sociopathic rogue spy that author Ian Fleming originally envisaged back in the 1950s. With a lot of the excess flab stripped away from previous outings, Daniel Craig’s 007 hits the ground running … and shooting … and fighting. Our first glimpse of the man at work is quite a shock to the system. In a bathroom just a few cracked tiles short of qualifying as a location for the next Saw movie, Bond is shown belting the stuffing out of some low-life turkey and then drowning what’s left of him in a sink. Before you can even process these disturbing images, Bond has moved on to put a bullet into a double-agent workmate and then done a nifty break-and-enter into the private residence of his boss, the redoubtable M (Judi Dench). You’ve never seen Bond like this before. Stand back, but stay watching. Co-stars Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen.
RUN, FATBOY, RUN
*1/2
8:30 PM 10 SHAKE
The credentials of British comedy wiz Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) are so strong that it comes as quite a shock to see him in a total fizzer like this. He plays a chubby loser running the London Marathon to prove he can be a winner. Directed into unyielding mediocrity by former Friends star David Schwimmer, this is a predictably puerile plod along a road we’ve all been down before. Runs out of puff well before the big race.
CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON
*****
10:30 PM SBS
This Oscar-winning art house blockbuster is the most visually seductive, yet physically punishing action movie of all-time. (Shout-out to the John Wick series, which can often conjure moments that favourably compare.) With jaw-dropping fight scenes choreographed by The Matrix’s Woo-Ping Yuen, all of the principal characters (led by the great Chow Yun-Fat and Michelle Yeoh) are called upon to mix it in combat sequences laden to the hilt with daring, danger and a deranged sense of detail. These scenes define their own reality – the performers glide across walls, treetops and ponds while lashing out in full flight – but crucially, never inspire disbelief.
LION
****
8:30 PM SBS
It has been way too long since Australian cinema found a true story the world needed to hear, and then made a movie the world wanted to see. This is the enduring triumph of Lion, the fascinating tale of a lost orphan, his near-impossible quest to locate his family, and the ingenious method he used to search for them. It is not unfair to state the opening hour ascends to peaks the rest of the movie cannot quite reach. This superb first section is an extended hell-ride through India in the mid-1980s, navigated with great instinct and genuine innocence by a hopelessly lost 5-year-old boy named Saroo (an astonishing performance from rookie actor Sunny Pawar). The second half unfolds 20 years later, in Tasmania of all places. With the surprise assistance of a powerful new technology called Google Earth, the now-adult Saroo (Dev Patel) gradually moves closer to a home that was once a distant memory. Co-stars Nicole Kidman, David Wenham
THE EXTRAORDINARY JOURNEY OF THE FAKIR
**
10:40 PM WORLD MOVIES
Hollywood meets Bollywood meets French feel-good cinema here, and they don’t get along so well as this oddball comedy-drama progresses. Though there are memorable moments in this rather erratic adaptation of an unlikely 2014 international bestseller (full title: The Extraordinary Voyage of the Fakir Who Got Trapped in an Ikea Wardrobe), it must be emphasised they are few and far between. This is the story of Aja (played by Indian star Dhanush), a Mumbai trickster who cons his way on to a flight to Paris in search of his long lost father. After meeting the potential love of his life in a French Ikea outlet, our hero accidentally falls asleep inside a closet. Upon waking, Aja discovers he has been shipped overnight to London, after which he becomes one of a band of passport-less refugees who are bureaucratically bounced all over Europe. What follows is a mostly dull journey, brightened only by the occasional eccentric interlude and a few sharp jabs at how governments choose to deal (and not deal) with illegal immigrants.
SUNDAY
RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD
***
8:30 PM 7mate
The original start point for the infamous action franchise boasts one very unusual statistic. The body count for the entire motion picture totals one. This relatively polite combat flick takes an eternity for Rambo to finally assume the position for which he is best known : massive arms gripping the handlebars of a machine gun, flapping jowls registering each new round of ammo, and vocal cords bellowing a grunt only a caveman could truly understand.
CHAPPIE
**1/2
10:30 PM 7mate
Frustratingly scrappy, but admirably ambitious gangsta fairytale from acclaimed director Neill Blomkamp (District 9, Elysium). This is the strange tale of a police robot programmed to feel human emotion, only to fall into the hands of crooks ready to exploit the innocent machine for their own nefarious means. On a storytelling level, Chappie mixes a sweetness and a swagger that becomes quite addictive. However, your real chances of enjoying Chappie will come down to how exciting you find its generous collection of splenetic (and sometimes gruesome) action sequences. Stars Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman.
CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS
***
7:00 PM 7FLIX
The two most popular conversation topics of all-time – the weather and food – secure the irresistible appeal of this oddball animated comedy. The story follows a young inventor whose latest gizmo turns water into food, meaning all kinds of delicacies will rain down from on high. The engagingly ridiculous tone set here makes a great fit for some inspired visual skylarking by the animaters. An expansion of Judi & Ron Barrett’s enduringly popular 1978 children’s book. Anyone who devoured the tale in their childhood won’t be too disappointed by the new recipe used here. Kids 10 and under will be lapping it all up from the get-go.
THE FIRM
**1/2
8:45 PM 7FLIX
Tom Cruise is not at his best in a heavy-handed adaptation of the John Grisham-penned bestseller. Takes an eternity for the central plot line to establish that Cruise is a young and charismatic (what else?) hotshot lawyer who has unwittingly joined a law firm that serves as a front for organised crime. From there, an overly tense and complicated state of affairs can only grind its way through the gears towards its low-pitched climax.
THE EXPENDABLES 3
**
7:30 PM GO!
A third plodding pang of nostalgia for those gory glory days of action movies, when men were men, dialogue was optional, and body counts hit triple figures by the end of the opening act. So which of his fossilised peers has ancient action man Sly Stallone excavated for this same-again mission to oblivion? Well, there’s Mel Gibson as the arch-villain of the hour, a deranged nut cake trading in illicit arms. Harrison Ford gives off the vibe of a man who has just been dragged from his trailer, and is impatiently waiting for someone to drag him back. Wesley Snipes returns to his best badass form as a long-lost Expendable nicknamed Doctor Death. Antonio Banderas is way too excited to be here, bless him.
MAD MAX: FURY ROAD
*****
10:00 PM GO!
Challenging and aggressively captivating throughout, Mad Max: Fury Road is now revered as a modern masterpiece of action filmmaking. While Fury Road is simply one protracted, adrenaline-guzzling chase sequence that cannot and will not ever let up, it never gets ahead of itself. Exploring an exciting new tangent of the Mad Max myth, Fury Road sees post-apocalyptic nomad Max (Thomas Hardy, ably replacing Mel Gibson) join forces with female freedom fighter Furiosa (a stunning Charlize Theron) on a devastating journey across the baddest badlands imaginable. Where Fury Road truly leaves a massive mark is with its astonishing visual composition. The contents of every frame – from the mind-boggling camera placements to the breathtaking (and reputedly CGI-free) stunt choreography – contributes to what becomes a sustained assault upon the senses. A directorial triumph for veteran filmmaker George Miller.
A UNITED KINGDOM
**1/2
6:25 PM WORLD MOVIES
Solid, if unspectacular biopic drama. In the 1950s, Botswanan prince Seretse Khama (played by David Oyelowo) raised the ire of the colonial British powers-that-were in Africa for daring to marry Ruth Williams (Rosamund Pike), a pretty white woman from London. How they kept their cool – and kept chasing the life they wished to share together – is communicated tenderly and clearly. Directed by Amma Assante (Belle).
GURRUMUL
****1/2
9:05 PM NITV
Moving, mesmerising and genuinely from the heart, this extraordinary documentary holds a mirror to the unique life and music of the late indigenous singer-songwriter Gurrumul Yunupingu. (The subject, a blind Yolngu man from Elcho Island up Arnhem Land way, signed off on the final cut days before his recent sad passing at age 46. Tribal elders have allowed its release to honour his legacy, a rare exception from Yolngu lore regarding mentions and depictions of the dead.) In his brief career, the enigmatic Gurrumul crafted a refined body of work that conveys emotions, feelings and spirits that are difficult to put into words. Hear his voice for the first time, one of his aunts says, “ and already the song has told you who he is in the world.” The most remarkable aspect of this poignant, revelatory doco is that despite Gurrumul’s unyielding refusal to discuss his music, the time we get to spend in his company here speaks volumes for a towering aural artist taken from his home and his people too soon.
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