What to watch instead of the royal wedding this weekend
IF the royal wedding isn’t on your must-watch list, here’s Herald Sun movie guru Leigh Paatsch’s picks for new stuff to stream on Netflix, Foxtel Now, Stan and SBS On Demand this weekend.
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MEGS and Harry’s big day might not be on everyone’s must-watch list.
If you’re looking for anything but royals, here’s Herald Sun movie guru Leigh Paatsch’s picks for new stuff to stream on Netflix, Foxtel Now, Stan and SBS On Demand this weekend.
MOVIE ABOUT CREEPY DOLLS, BAD ADAM SANDLER
SOLO: A GOODTIME STAR WARS MOVIE
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THE ONE YOU’RE GONNA LAUGH AT, EVEN WHEN YOU SHOULDN’T
ALI WONG: HARD KNOCK WIFE (MA15+)
4.5 stars out of 5
Netflix
Netflix is churning out the top-flight stand-up comedy specials at a furious rate right now. Hard on the heels of the excellent Chris Rock and John Mulaney shows comes some very fresh and feisty new work from the great Ali Wong.
As with her breakthrough 2016 special Baby Cobra, the ever-energetic and fearless Wong delivers a blinder of a set while in an advanced state of pregnancy.
Though the life-enhancing (and body-wrecking) side-effects of motherhood are once again a constant theme, it is Wong’s graphic and sustained attacks on sexual hypocrisy and racial stereotyping that really get the big laughs on a roll.
Watch this impeccably delivered monologue in one hit and you will be as impressed as you are amused.
THE ONE THAT DOUBLES DOWN ON MORE DIRTY, BIG LAUGHS
GIRLS TRIP (MA15+)
3.5 stars
Foxtel Now
The perfect double-bill play with the new Ali Wong stand-up special just has to be this quality women-behaving-badly affair, one of the few movie comedies that truly worked in 2017.
The set-up is let’s-get-the-old-gang-together-for-the-weekend: a quartet of former college BFFs known as The Flossy Posse reconvene in New Orleans to test how strong the old bond might still be.
The X-factor here is an incredible breakout performance by Tiffany Haddish, a lusty, gusty whirlwind of wrong decisions and right-on ways to rationalise them.
What follows is an earthy, provocative, and undeniably funny raunch-fest which gives The Hangover a run for its money in its best (and bluest) scenes. Co-stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith.
THE ONE THAT GIVES YOU ALL THE TRUE CRIME YOU CAN HANDLE
EVIL GENIUS (MA15+)
3.5 stars
Netflix
This fascinating four-part Netflix true crime doco investigates the ‘Pizza Bomber’ case, a bizarre bank heist which occurred in the town of Erie, Pennsylvania in 2003.
Ever since, a shifting set of mysteries linked to the affair have continued to be floated by law officials and conspiracy theorists alike.
A compelling first episode lays out the bare facts of the affair, which feels a bit like a subplot from a Saw movie.
Pizza delivery driver Brian Wells enters a bank with a bomb strapped to his neck, and pleads with tellers to hand over cash before it explodes.
Outside, police intercept and detain Wells, who calmly informs officers he is acting on the instruction of unknown individuals who have placed the explosive device on him, and have given him a set of tasks to complete before the day is through.
The police are unsure whether to believe him.
Then they have no choice but to. As this miniseries unfolds, a passing parade of possible perps, amateur detectives and one highly dubious prime suspect present themselves for our inspection.
THE ONE THAT GIVES YOU ALL THE JAIL TIME YOU CAN HANDLE
STARRED UP (MA15+)
4 stars
SBS On Demand
If you caught the spectacular new production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof that played a limited run in cinemas earlier this month, then you already know that Brit Jack O’Connell is undoubtedly one of the most exciting young actors in the world right now.
Anyone not already aboard the bandwagon should make a beeline for this uncompromising prison drama, in which O’Connell plays a problematic teen doing his first extended stint in the slammer.
His estranged old man (a tatted-up and irrationally intimidating Ben Mendelsohn) just happens to be housed in the same maximum-security wing of the jail.
Though inclined to show his tempestuous son the ropes, the crash course comes at a punishing price.
THE ONE THAT PLAYS THE SPY GAME WITH STYLE, NOT SUBSTANCE
ATOMIC BLONDE (MA15+)
3.5 stars
Foxtel Now
Throughout this style-conscious, substance-free action pic, Charlize Theron brilliantly blurs the line that separates the alluring from the alarming.
The movie is never up to much — a confusing, convoluted story prohibits any sustained interest from viewers — but Theron is all over the need to keep energy levels pulsing as intensely as they can.
It is the late 1980s, and with the Berlin Wall about to crumble, British super-spy Lorraine Broughton (Theron) must retrieve a list that will save the lives of many double agents active during the Cold War.
While the finer points of this tale are impossible to follow, Theron deploys a cool combo of bewitching beauty, bone-breaking brawn and belittling eye contact that is impossible to resist. Sure, her character casually lifts certain traits from the playbooks of Jason Bourne, John Wick and even James Bond.
Nevertheless, the permafrosted composure Theron applies to her performance cannot be found elsewhere. Co-stars James McAvoy, Sofia Boutella.
THE ONE FOR TEENAGERS LOOKING FOR A LITTLE LIFT
THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER (M)
3 stars
Stan
Logan Lerman plays the central role of Charlie, a self-professed loner struggling to make a single friend at his new school. Coming to the rescue in a nick of time is a subversive bunch of rebels that wear their nonconformist status at school as a badge of honour.
Each has a lesson to teach Charlie that he sorely needs to learn. Reads as a bit corny, huh? In reality, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is anything but.
In spite of its downer of an opening act, the film achieves instant lift-off the very moment Charlie falls in with the out crowd. Ezra Miller (We Need to Talk About Kevin) and Emma Watson (the Harry Potter series) are truly wonderful as the charismatic misfits that take Charlie under their wing.
Particularly recommended to teen viewers in need of a boost.
THE ONE THAT BELONGS IN THE NAUGHTY CORNER
THE EMOJI MOVIE (G)
NO STARS
Foxtel Now
Widely acknowledged as the worst release of 2017, this cartoon calamity still has the audiovisual radioactivity to ruin anyone’s 2018 with even the most limited exposure.
In one scene, a child declares “words aren’t cool,” a line of dialogue guaranteed to take a decade off your reading age simply by hearing it said out loud.
If you intentionally show this to your kids, show yourself the door.
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