Hollywood movie dads: Heroes and the Hall of Shame
There have been some fantastic on-screen fathers and some absolute shockers, but Leigh Paatsch has found these Hollywood movie dads at their best and worst.
Leigh Paatsch
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Some are everyday heroes that would do anything for their children. Others need a crash course in Parenting 101.
Leigh Paatsch steps inside the screen and goes looking for those movie fathers that define absolute dad-ness at its best and worst …
THE WISEST MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Atticus Finch (Gregory Finch) in To Kill a Mockingbird
“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.”
Calm, measured, modest and plain-speaking – all rarities in a lawyer – Mr Finch is considered by many to be the greatest father ever to grace a movie screen. Hard to argue with that assessment on the evidence presented in this perfect adaptation of Harper Lee’s perfect debut novel.
With two children to raise alone, and a crucial, racially charged case to defend alone, Atticus still found a way to become a true role model to his kids, their close-knit community, and we in the audience hanging on his every word.
See also: Mr Perlman (Michael Stuhlbarg) in Call Me By Your Name
THE DUMBEST MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) in National Lampoon’s Vacation.
“Everybody in the car … or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?”
If a dad joke could assume human form, it would look exactly like Clark Griswold. Give this man some time off work and a holiday to plan, and he can come up with the away-from-home experience that will leave you cowering indoors for the rest of the year. This, remember, is a guy who will pull a gun on a security guard so his family can ride a rollercoaster.
See also: Brad Whitaker (Will Ferrell) in Daddy’s Home
THE TOUGHEST MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) in the Taken series.
“I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”
The 100 Albanian mobsters who originally made off with Mr Mills’ daughter in the first movie were warned in no uncertain terms. Word obviously did not get to those who foolishly followed suit in the sequels. Mr Mills was a flesh-and-blood prototype of the Terminator who did not like his family being messed with in any way.
See also: John McLane (Bruce Willis) in the Die Hard series.
THE MOST ORGANISED MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) in The Godfather
“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Okay? I want you to leave it all to me.”
So what if the ‘organised’ in this case happens to be organised crime? When push came to shove, old Don was really the most traditional of family men, wanting nothing more than to leave his carefully crafted business in good shape for the generations to follow.
If it took the subtle placement of a horse’s head in a bed or an offer to seal the deal, so be it.
See also: Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) in There Will Be Blood
THE ULTIMATE SINGLE MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
The Man (Viggo Mortensen) in The Road
“When you dream about bad things happening, it means you’re still fighting and you’re still alive. It’s when you start to dream about good things that you should start to worry.”
If there’s been a catastrophe that’s wiped out almost all mankind, this fella is your only go-to dad. Food is whatever you can get your hands on. And tear apart. Each step must be made by The Man and his son with extreme caution and grim resignation. A dude who is all survival instinct, all the time.
See also: Chris Gardner (Will Smith) in The Pursuit of Happyness.
THE MOST DETERMINED MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Marlin (the voice of Albert Brooks) in Finding Nemo
“I promised I would never let anything happen to him.”
Having already lost his wife and their 400 future children to a barracuda attack, neurotic clownfish Marlin wasn’t about to live without his last remaining offspring. So when Nemo is kidnapped to the other side of the planet, Marlin swims all the way there (despite being afraid of everything) to effect a longshot rescue mission.
See also: Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) in Con Air
THE MOST DESPERATE MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) in Mrs. Doubtfire
“God broke the mould when He made me. He made me very special.”
Divorced dad Dan misses his kids so much, he infiltrates their home posing as a plus-sized Scottish Mary Poppins. Not sure he totally thought his plan through: any child who discovers their father is a cross-dressing nanny with highly combustible breasts is going to have some deep-set psychological issues later in life.
See also: John Q. Archibald (Denzel Washington) in John Q.
THE MADDEST MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) in The Shining
(on his typewriter) “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
If only Jack had settled for dull once in a while. To freshen up some stale career prospects, Mr Torrance elects to take a working holiday. Which means moving wife and child to an empty hotel in the middle of nowhere, then going after them with an axe. Spoiler alert: he won’t be taking a leaf out of the Atticus Finch playbook.
See also: Royal Tenenbaum (Gene Hackman) in The Royal Tenenbaums
THE BADDEST MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Darth Vader (David Prowse) in Star Wars: Episodes IV-VI
“Luke, you can destroy the Emperor. He has foreseen this. It is your destiny. Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.”
Just like Mr Corleone in The Godfather, all Darth wants is for his boy to take over the family business one day. However, cutting off the lad’s hand with a light saber blew any chance of that ever happening. Vader might have turned everything around at the final hour, but there’s no denying the black-helmeted hellraiser was a very slow learner.
See also: Father (Javier Bardem) in Mother!
THE MOST AUSTRALIAN MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Darryl Kerrigan (Michael Caton) in The Castle.
“Tell ‘em they’re dreaming!”
There has always been more to that Kerrigan bloke than the quirky quips and a deep appreciation of serenity. As we have been reminded by recent events, Darryl’s two greatest achievements – an unconditionally loving family and a house to hold them dear – are the two greatest things any Aussie dad can ever do.
See also: Bill Heslop (Bill Hunter) in Muriel’s Wedding
THE BEST STAY-AT-HOME MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Bob Parr / Mr Incredible (the voice of Craig T. Nelson) in Incredibles 2
“I’ve got to succeed! So she can succeed! So WE can succeed!
Sometimes the most super-heroic thing to do is simply the right thing. However, even when Bob takes over domestic duties from the missus (aka Elastigirl) so she can pursue a new career, it doesn’t mean he won’t be pulling his weight when the time comes for the world to be saved all over again.
See also: Jack (Michael Keaton) in Mr. Mom
THE MOST OVER-PROTECTIVE MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro) in Meet the Parents
“I will be watching you. If I find that you are trying to corrupt my firstborn child, I will bring you down, baby. I will bring you down to Chinatown.”
This patriarchal psychopath is a prospective father-in-law who could only exist in the nightmares of young men (such as Ben Stiller’s Greg Focker) about to ask for a daughter’s hand in marriage. A flinty, squinty curmudgeon, Jack is a former CIA operative who runs his household as if he is running guns to central America.
See also: George Banks (Steve Martin) in Father of the Bride
THE MOST OPEN-MINDED MOVIE FATHER OF ALL-TIME
Mac MacGuff (J.K. Simmons) in Juno
“You know I’ll always be there to love you and support you no matter what kind of pickle you’re in … Obviously.”
Though hit with the double whammy of learning his teenage daughter Juno (Ellen Page) is pregnant – and will be adopting out the child to a couple across town – the genially glass-half-full Mac ignores every chance to say “how dare you?” and takes every opportunity to ask “how can I help?”.
See also: Jim’s Dad (Eugene Levy) in American Pie
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
Most Unconventional Father: Prof. Henry Jones (Sean Connery) in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Most Academic Father: Thornton Melon (Rodney Dangerfield) in Back to School
Most Selfless Father: Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) in Armageddon
Kindest Father: George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) in It’s a Wonderful Life
Coolest Father: Nate (Owen Wilson) in Wonder
Saddest Father: Mufasa in The Lion King
THE MOVIE FATHER HALL OF SHAME
*Peter McCallister (John Heard) in Home Alone 1 and 2.
The mum cops a lot of flak for ditching Macaulay Culkin. Twice! But this deadbeat dad was equally culpable.
*Thanos (Josh Brolin) in Avengers Infinity War
Matter-of-factly sacrifices daughter’s life so he can take over the universe. So selfish.
*Dr. Evil (Mike Myers) in the Austin Powers series
Movie villains are usually incongruously loving with their own. Not the Doc. He hated his poor son Scott.
*Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) in American Beauty
The dad with designs on the teenage girl next door. Casting of the role chilling in hindsight.
*Wayne Szalinski (Rick Moranis) in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Read that title again. He shrunk his kids. Then in the sequel, he super-sized a toddler.
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Originally published as Hollywood movie dads: Heroes and the Hall of Shame