Every Movie Tonight on Melbourne TV – Rated or Slated
Your night on the couch is sorted – from a gripping time-travel classic to a family friendly movie perfect for entertaining viewers of all ages, we’ve reviewed every movie on TV tonight.
Leigh Paatsch
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CHEF (M)
***1/2
8.30pm, 7FLIX
A very likeable light comedy, Chef serves up plenty of flavoursome feel-good moments for those with an appetite for such fare. Jon Favreau plays Carl Casper, a once-acclaimed cook whose cutting edge has been blunted by too many career compromises. When Carl loses his marbles and pays out on a critic on social media, he gets the sack and goes looking for the culinary flair which has abandoned him. As both director and writer, Favreau clearly knows his way around a kitchen. The many scenes of finessed food-prep under pressure – particularly once Carl rediscovers his love of Cuban street cuisine – are executed to perfection. The banter between those turning up the heat on Carl and those chowing down on his creations is loose, lively and unforced. Co-stars Scarlett Johansson, Sofia Vergara, Dustin Hoffman, Robert Downey Jr.
AT ANY PRICE (M)
**
10.50pm, 7FLIX
Very soapy, sorta dopey father-son drama that never made it into Australian cinemas, and rightly so. Dad wants his boy to get serious with life and take over the family farming empire. The boy? He wants to become a crash-hot pro race-car driver. The rest just about writes itself. Which is very much the problem. Stars Zac Efron, Dennis Quaid.
CLICK (PG)
**
8.35pm, GO!
Look out, everyone! Adam Sandler has a magic remote-control that can manipulate life as it was prerecorded TV! A catchy little idea for a comedy catches a bad attack of the sads at the halfway mark, where the filmmakers mistakenly think it’s time for some drama and a few lessons about the human condition. We like our Sandler films to be simple and stupid, thanks very much. Co-stars Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken.
THE LOVE GURU (M)
*
10.50pm, GO!
It all came to an end right here for the once-mega-popular funnyman Mike Myers (Austin Powers, Wayne’s World). He plays a dodgy lifestyle guru from a foreign land looking to convert the US and the rest of the world to his shonky beliefs. Remarkable only for how many gags the writers derive from the sight of copulating elephants, Indian-sounding words for male genitalia and the occasional audio simulation of backfiring bowels. Myers has this unerringly creepy way of delivering punchlines straight to camera and laughing like a ninny. He does it too quickly – almost desperately – as if he knows the audience won’t be chuckling once the joke is told.
BASEketball (M)
***
8.30pm VICELAND
Here’s a treat for South Park fans. Series creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone front an endearingly dumb comedy about two no-hopers who create a new sports sensation when they accidentally combine baseball and basketball while loafing about at home. Better than you might suspect.
YOUR HIGHNESS (M)
**
10.25pm VICELAND
A lazy, hazy and woozily erratic stoner comedy, much like Pineapple Express retro-booted to medieval times. Danny McBride (of TV cult hits The Righteous Gemstones and Eastbound & Down) plays a cowardly, overweight prince. James Franco is his brave, thin brother. Together they must rescue a fair maiden (Zooey Deschanel) before a rogue wizard has his unfair way with her. Natalie Portman shows up late in the game as warrior-princess eye-candy. The movie coughs, splutters and nods off on the job repeatedly, as if everyone hit the weed so hard they forgot there were cameras present.
LABOR DAY (M)
***
7.30pm WORLD MOVIES
On the eve of a holiday weekend, a jittery single mother (Kate Winslet) and her sensitive young son find themselves being held hostage in their own home by a convicted killer (Josh Brolin) on the run. So begins Labor Day, an unusually focused, yet noticeably fragile romantic drama from acclaimed director Jason Reitman (Up in the Air, Thank You for Smoking). The story, adapted from a novel by American author Joyce Maynard, is just as capable of intriguing as it is irritating. The premise immediately gets you in, and gets you wondering where it will be heading. However, certain stops along the way will certainly get on your nerves. You will know inside 10 minutes whether you will be buying what this mildly mercurial film is selling. While Labor Day can strain credibility to the point of becoming totally corny at times, the simple, relatable chemistry worked up by Winslet and Brolin immediately picks the film up after any bad stumbles.
THE MERMAID (M)
***
9.35pm WORLD MOVIES
When a slimy real-estate tycoon makes a major move on a swanky coastal land package, he doesn’t realise he is raising the ire of an ancient mermaid colony living nearby. The dishy fish-women send one of their own to make sure the big deal never goes through. A little wacky, a little off-kilter in its world view, and deceptively clever throughout. As has been the case for many of the best-known works of director Steven Chow (he of the immortal Kung Fu Hustle).
FIVE MOVIE PICKS FOR STREAMING OR RENTAL
SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE: FARMAGEDDON
****
rent via GOOGLE, iTunes, YOUTUBE MOVIES
This new, sci-fi-inspired movie adventure for Shaun the Sheep and the Mossy Bottom Farm gang is even better than the first one. The story begins when Shaun notices that a sizeable percentage of the pizza he and his posse are ordering online is disappearing without trace. The perpetrator turns out to be a visiting alien being, Lu-La. Her ship has ditched itself on the farmlands of Britain at the worst possible time, especially now her presence has attracted the attention of a UK agency hellbent on capturing its first UFO. Naturally, it is up to Shaun and his barnyard battalion to come to Lu-La’s aid, not only keeping the government spooks at bay, but also finding a way to have her return home safely. The beauty of Farmageddon as a film is its simple, straightforward efficiency when it comes to entertaining viewers of all ages. Claymation specialists Aardman Studios (creators of Wallace & Gromit) never let anyone down, particularly the very young in the audience.
RIDE LIKE A GIRL (PG)
**
FOXTEL
Not really a recommendation, per se. However, Ride Like a Girl was the biggest Aussie release of last year, so some folks will be wanting to climb aboard now it is hitting the streaming platforms. This dramatised take on jockey Michelle Payne’s history-making 2015 Melbourne Cup win fluctuates throughout from quaintly endearing to faintly awful. Teresa Palmer as Payne never really convinces as a jockey, but does excel when it comes to conveying her character’s tough-as-teak personal ethos. The all-important racetrack sequences are passable at best. Not a total losing bet, but don’t splash out expecting much of a payday. Co-stars Sam Neill.
UNSANE (MA15+)
***1/2
AMAZON, GOOGLE PLAY, ITUNES
An attention-grabbing thriller boasting both one hell of a gimmick (it was shot entirely on an iPhone) and one hellish premise (the nightmare of not being able to leave somewhere you never should have been). Claire Foy (star of the Netflix series The Crown) stars as Sawyer, a nervy young woman still reeling from a bad experience with a stalker. While in search of a new therapist to treat an ongoing trauma, Sawyer finds herself accidentally committed to a private psychiatric facility. The more she protests her predicament, the longer her unsympathetic handlers extend her stay. Can it get any worse? Well, there’s a new male nurse on staff who Sawyer believes is her stalker. Then again, it could just be a figment of the potent medication pumped into her. The rustic, stressfully up-close shooting style of director Steven Soderbergh (Logan Lucky) does work over the viewer good and proper. Whether it papers over some rather large holes in the plot will be the maker or breaker for some, however.
LOOPER (MA15+)
****
NETFLIX, AMAZON, STAN
Available once more on home streaming after a lengthy absence, this ambitious, adrenalised sci-fi thriller is all brains and all brawn, almost all the time. First, the brains bit. Looper is a time-travel movie, with some head-spinning theories going on about how time machines can used by gangsters to get rid of their enemies. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Joe, a hitman in the year 2044 whose latest assignment is to kill his future self. Bruce Willis is the older Joe, and he is not about to let his past self get away with murder. What follows (and it is easier to follow than it sounds!) is a quality chase movie of some considerable sophistication. Indeed, in a gripping final act, Looper locks into a mood that is at once contemplative and compelling.
WHO YOU THINK I AM (MA15+)
***
rent via GOOGLE, ITUNES, YOUTUBE MOVIES
A slightly erratic, yet always compelling mix of mystery, comedy and social commentary. A sublime Juliette Binoche stars as Claire, a literature professor in her early fifties who has just started playing the online dating game with a fake social media profile she calls Clara. When things start going haywire in a skittish final act, there is always this nagging feeling that the only person Claire is catfishing is herself.
Originally published as Every Movie Tonight on Melbourne TV – Rated or Slated
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