Every movie rated on Melbourne TV tonight
There’s a few fizzers on telly tonight, but one classic movie you must watch if you haven’t already. Leigh Paatsch rates every movie to help you make the most of your Wednesday night in.
Leigh Paatsch
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SHOOTER (MA 15+)
*
8.30PM CH. 7
A rotten orgy of gunfire, explosions and loony left-wing conspiracy theories. Imagine a Rambo remake directed by Fahrenheit 9/11’s Michael Moore while high on crystal meth. Mark Wahlberg stars as a retired sniper framed by a vast secret society of government agents for an assassination attempt on the US President. Avoid.
THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING (PG)
***
8.30PM 7FLIX
They say pressure makes diamonds. So here is the true story of how a rare jewel of an intellect was formed under incredible duress. The brain in question belongs to legendary theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking (well played by Eddie Redmayne), and it is his formative years on the far frontiers of deep, revolutionary thinking that are covered here. Remarkably, it was not until his body was devastated by the ravages of motor neurone disease that Hawking got his act together and began famously decrypting the mysteries of the universe. Fear not: the filmmakers keep the finer points of time theory and associated intellectual gymnastics to a minimum. Instead, the broad scope of Hawking’s achievements are fused to a touching, yet trying relationship with his young wife (Felicity Jones) and family. While some will believe the movie plays it a little too safe and sanitised, Redmayne’s astonishingly expressive portrayal of Hawking excuses most flaws.
IN & OUT (M)
**1/2
11.00PM 7FLIX
A pleasant enough trifle about an everyday schoolteacher Howard (Kevin Kline) whose life is turned upside down when he is outed as gay by an award-winning actor (Matt Dillon). Just as there is nothing malicious to the outing, there is nothing but puzzlement by Howard at the national furore. He is straight after all, isn’t he? Welllll … that’s where the real movie starts leaning into its light-comedy inclinations. Not always that amusingly. Co-stars Tom Selleck.
DAD’S ARMY (PG)
**
8.50PM GEM
Another mediocre modern remake of a beloved old TV show. Doesn’t bungle the formula so much as batter it down to a blob of buttery blandness. Stars Bill Nighy (a rare misstep for him), Toby Jones, Michael Gambon.
ALONG CAME POLLY (M)
***
8.30PM GO!
More ritual humiliation for Ben Stiller, who used to be the best comedic fall guy going when tasked with throwing himself under the bus for a laugh. The popular star of There’s Something About Mary and Meet the Parents (both big influences here) plays a stuffy risk analyst thrown for a loop when he falls for ditzy free spirit Jennifer Aniston. Worth a look if you’re after easy laughs, many of which come from Philip Seymour Hoffman as Stiller’s right-hand buffoon. The standout just has to be Hoffman’s one-man version of Jesus Christ Superstar at the movie’s climax.
DATE MOVIE (M)
**
10.15PM GO!
In the tatty tradition of Scary Movie, Not Another Teen Movie and their ilk, this wonky spoof takes a moderately funny blowtorch to all romantic comedies, great or grating. About one in three jokes hit their desired target, which is about par for the course for these kind of flicks. Stars Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Sophie Monk.
MIDNIGHT RUN (M)
****
7.30PM WORLD MOVIES
The best movie of the night is on the great bicker’n’bond buddy movies of all time. Robert De Niro is a by-the-book bounty hunter hired to haul in cook-the-books accountant Charles Grodin to face the music. However, there are some mobsters who world prefer it if the shonky bean counter never makes it to court. The comic chemistry between Grodin and De Niro is of a rare, and relentlessly funny calibre. If you’ve never seen this, treat yourself.
SEE YOU UP THERE (MA15+)
***
11.45PM SBS
This unorthodox, intermittently astonishing French drama has been a multiple awards winner on the festival circuit. Writer-director Albert Dupontel also features in a leading role as Albert, a soldier whose life is changed in a myriad of ways during a terrifying battle at the close of World War 1. It is here Albert forges a powerful friendship with Edouard (Nahuel Perez Biscayart), a one-time artist who comes to his rescue, only to be horrifically disfigured by a mortar shell. Upon returning to civilian life in Paris, the pair join forces to perpetrate a cunning scam involving the sale (and subsequent non-production) of war monuments.
THREE MOVIE PICKS FOR STREAMING OR RENTAL TO GET YOU THROUGH THE EVENING
THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON (M)
****
Rent via GOOGLE, ITUNES, YOUTUBE MOVIES
It is rare to see a feel-good movie so willing to take a risk, come a cropper, dust itself off, and have another crack at something else. While this unconventional buddy movie can sometimes lose its way — and lose track of its own plot — its heart remains immovably in the right place. And what a big, vibrant heart it is. Shia LaBeouf plays Tyler, a troubled fisherman being chased by some peeved and dangerous rivals up coast and down river. In making one of his getaways, Tyler discovers he has a stowaway aboard, Zak (Zack Gottsagen). This feisty interloper (a young man with Down syndrome) is also on the run, having given the slip to the authorities supposedly caring for him. What follows is a rather shapeless, but spirited set of scrappy adventures for Tyler and Zak. These straight-talking rebels are destined to butt heads and bond big-time as their odyssey continues. A real one-off in all the right ways, thanks to both the funny, moving and motivated work of its stars, and a story that never quite conforms to the predictable.
ANT-MAN AND THE WASP (PG) ***1/2
DISNEY PLUS
A far more cohesive, exciting and entertaining commodity than its predecessor. The story picks up with Ant-Man’s alter ego Scott Lang (another winning effort from the underrated Paul Rudd) under house arrest for misdemeanours committed during Captain America: Civil War. However, just days short of freedom, our hero is busted loose to help inventor Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and daughter Hope (Evangeline Lilly) rescue long-lost wife and mother Janet (Michelle Pfeiffer) from the dreaded Quantum Realm. Plenty of awesomely designed set-piece action sequences — where the mayhem of sudden shrinking and supersizing is taken to surreal new heights — are casually blended into jokes and japes delivered with infectious, freewheeling flair.
HAIL SATAN? (M)
***
STAN; or rent via GOOGLE, ITUNES, YOUTUBE
A cheeky doco about the inner workings and out-there activities of a freshly-minted religion preaching tolerance, acceptance and justice for all. Their name? The Satanic Temple. That’s right. These crusaders for freedom of speech and equality for every belief system are pretty much your friendly neighbourhood devil worshippers. Not surprisingly, this motley mob of social agitators and media manipulators is very much an “it could only happen in America” phenomenon. Nevertheless, their membership has grown from three to three hundred thousand inside a decade, largely on the back of the group’s fundamental determination to test and torment those exploiting the US Constitution for their own selfish ends. This entertaining doco does not pitch the Temple’s oddball leadership group as heroes in any way, but it is fascinating to see how much a bunch of self-confessed trolls and trouble magnets can get done when they put their mind to it.
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