Your Night In: Every movie on Melbourne TV tonight rated
Woody Allen fans are in for a treat tonight, with not one but two of his recent flicks among Tuesday night’s viewing options. But if that isn’t your speed, you could always settle in for jam-packed action flick or the third instalment of Austin Powers’ shag-a-delic franchise.
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OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN (MA15+)
***
9.20pm CH. 9
Gormless, guilty-pleasure action thriller, best viewed as the Die-Hard-Hits-The-White-House affair it so clearly wants to be. And to its relative credit, just about is. Gerard Butler is the hard-ass hero of the hour, Mike Banning, a Presidential guard who must come to the rescue when his boss is taken hostage by some despicable North Korean terrorist types. Runs about 30 minutes too long, and some of the violence is just too over-the-top for words. Nevertheless, when it is just plain dumb, the overall effect can be just plain entertaining. As an added bonus, those wanting to make a binge of it can also find the sequels London Has Fallen on Netflix and recent box-office hit Angel Has Fallen over at Foxtel.
AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER (M)
**
8.30PM 7FLIX
The third Austin Powers pic bought the shag-a-delic franchise a one-way ticket to the dumper. Too much Austin and a reduction in duties for Dr Evil didn’t help. Same goes for a distinctly unfunny new villain (a disco-dancing Dutchman). The inclusion of Michael Caine and Beyoncé Knowles lightened the load, but a spread-thin Mike Myers (playing 4 characters) sure made heavy going of everything else. A very high celebrity cameo quota includes uncredited appearances by Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Danny DeVito and Ozzy Osbourne.
THE NAKED GUN 2 1/2: THE SMELL OF FEAR (M)
**1/2
10.45PM 7FLIX
The late Leslie Nielsen’s characterisation of Lieutenant Frank Drebin is a classic comedy creation. Keeping a straight face during the most ridiculous of scenes is only half the achievement for Nielsen – he has us believing that he really is that stupid. The plot of this so-so second instalment syncs vaguely to an environmental-destruction theme, but of course Drebin is capable of far more damage to the ozone layer just by being himself.
THE NEGOTIATOR (M)
**
7.30PM GO!
A big, dumb, lumbering cop thriller that works through a very familiar, very basic formula, very, very slowly indeed. Samuel L. Jackson stars as Danny Roman, a police hostage specialist forced to take his own captives when framed for a crime he did not commit. Kevin Spacey (remember him?) is the smart-aleck dude wheeled in by the authorities on bringing a nice clean end to the messy siege.
DOUBLE IMPACT (M)
**1/2
10.15PM GO!
Two Jean-Claude van Dammes for the price of one? On free-to-air? Bargain. This is the one where “the Muscles from Brussels” plays Alex and Chad, long-lost twin brothers not so happy to be brought together once more. Every bit as terrible and watchable as you would hope for the movie which won JCVD a 1992 MTV Movie Award for Most Desirable Male.
IRRATIONAL MAN (M)
***
7.45PM WORLD MOVIES
Those who have stayed the course through the long and prolific filmmaking career of Woody Allen will know full well that you have to factor in a wonky one dropping every once in a while. While Irrational Man is indeed an ungainly and flawed hybrid of mannered comedy and malcontent drama, it is not without its share of hard-earned merits. A pot-bellied, worn-out-looking Joaquin Phoenix stars as Abe, a pro-level philosopher looking to lift his sagging writing career with a teaching gig at a posh college. Though his classes are a bust, our ailing hero finds a new and vital calling when he starts toying with the idea of killing a corrupt judge on purely ethical grounds. Co-stars Emma Stone.
MATCH POINT (M)
****
9.30PM WORLD MOVIES
Say hello to Chris Wilton (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a slimy social climber looking for a leg-up into the London elite after his first try as a so-so tennis pro has failed miserably. There is only one roadblock on Chris’ crusade towards the upper classes, and her name is Nola Rice (Scarlett Johansson). The recently wedded Chris recasts this mediocre American actress as his mistress, a lover with which to lust away many a lengthy lunch break from work. If you think you know where this strained situation is leading, it might be best to think again. The scene is set for a truly jolting shock ending, the moral implications of which will put your own personal ethics to the test for some time after the final credits roll. Great stuff.
THREE MOVIE PICKS FOR STREAMING OR RENTAL
BLACK CHRISTMAS (M)
***
BINGE, FOXTEL, AMAZON
The setting is an American college campus, largely vacated due to the Christmas break. Within the walls of an all-female sorority house, the residents gradually notice their slender numbers are being further reduced by an unknown menace. Is it one of the boys from one of the rambunctious frats down the street? Or might it be a serial killer with no real motive other than a pronounced dislike of smart young women? A clever fusing of regulation horror tropes with contemporary #MeToo and #TimesUp themes keeps you thinking while your pulse is pounding. Stars Imogen Poots.
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU (MA15+)
****
NETFLIX, FOXTEL
Unconventional, unruly and – in its best, most coherent moments – unbelievably great, Sorry to Bother You might be the strangest movie you see this year. It could also be the most ambitious, popping several provocative thought bubbles regarding race, class, capitalism, job satisfaction and how we treat one another from one day to the next. Lakeith Stanfield (Get Out) stars as Cassius, an African-American dude who can barely find the money to pay the rent on a space in his uncle’s garage. Things start looking up when Cassius lands a low-level job at a busy telemarketing firm and begins rapidly rising through the ranks. The secret to his success? Talking to customers over the phone in his best “white voice.” Just as Cassius comes under the suspect influence of an insane CEO (Armie Hammer), his girlfriend (Tessa Thompson) senses the time is right for an intervention. A brave and radical departure from many a filmmaking norm, highly recommended to those who appreciate chances taken and rules broken.
SING! (G)
***
FOXTEL
A quality animated movie musical offering for children. Buster Moon (voiced by Matthew McConaughey) is a theatre owner who has fallen on hard times. (He is also a koala with an American accent, which takes some getting used to.) Buster’s bright idea to save the day is to stage a singing contest for all comers, which is all the excuse the movie needs to keep cutting from one catchy cover version to another. All of the voice cast also did their own singing, and there are some very impressive renditions churned out by those known to carry a tune effortlessly (Jennifer Hudson, Tori Kelly both have showstopping moments here) and those who have clearly put the work in (Scarlett Johansson, Taron Egerton and Reese Witherspoon). Starts a bit slow and runs a bit long, but any child who loves their TV talent shows won’t care a jot.
Originally published as Your Night In: Every movie on Melbourne TV tonight rated