This was published 3 months ago
‘It was instantaneous’: Meet Perth’s very own Jerry and George
Mark Naglazas continues his series getting to know the people of Perth, presenting in their own words the stories of their lives and the issues important to them: from love, marriage and parenthood to careers, achievements and more.
Wayne (left) and Simon (right) at The Shorehouse in Swanbourne.Credit: Mark Naglazas
Entering Wayne’s World: Wayne and Simon
SIMON: Initially I wasn’t drawn to Wayne. It was his wife I was attracted to. Still am.
WAYNE: There’s the headline for your article. “His best friend is attracted to his wife.”
SIMON: In the mid-1980s I opened a cafe called Ted’s on the corner of Lake and Aberdeen Streets that became the home for the advertising industry, which in those days was centred around Northbridge. Creative types like Wayne would have all their meetings there and interview models, which was another attraction for opening the cafe.
WAYNE: After a while Simon stopped looking at my girlfriend (now my wife) long enough for us to strike up a friendship. We hit it off right away. We had the same sense of humour. He even had a funny menu that still makes me smile. Even when nobody is laughing at my jokes, which is a lot of the time, I know Simon is laughing.
SIMON: I’m not laughing about the 30 bucks you still owe me.
WAYNE: If Seinfeld hadn’t existed it wouldn’t have mattered. Wayne and I have the same relationship as Jerry and Larry David. Once the jokes start rolling they don’t stop. We just bounce back and forth. We just keep going because we have so much material.
SIMON: We didn’t start hanging out together until much later even though we live around the corner from each other. I was having a garage sale and I put up all these stupid flyers around Cottesloe, like The Kardashian’s Garage Sale and The Donald Trump Garage. Wayne came and we couldn’t get rid of him. He stayed all day.
WAYNE: It was like we were back in Ted’s in the 1980s. We just picked up where we left off.
SIMON: It was instantaneous. I thought, “This is my mate.”
WAYNE: If there is a genuine connection you hardly ever have to see somebody and there will be that bond. It’s the same with me and Simon. The spark was lit decades ago, so when we met at Simon’s garage sale all those years later the friendship burned brightly again.
SIMON: We started walking together in the mornings. We both have dogs and it allowed Wayne to indulge his passion — his mania would be a more accurate description — for collecting things, like this item he picked up on the way here [the plastic palm tree in the picture].
WAYNE: I can’t throw anything away. I come from a working-class background. I come from Hammy Hill. I love finding stuff. I should have been an explorer.
SIMON: Wayne sucks you into his insane world. He’ll invite you around for a beer. When you arrive you discover that you have to help him paint a fence before you get the beer.
WAYNE: It is very much our own world. It’s like we are in a bubble. When we go out with our wives we don’t have mature, interesting conversations. They spend their time rolling their eyes. They will disappear to the sidelines and talk about something smart and we’ll be talking about how in Gilligan’s Island the Professor solved all the problems and the millionaire saved none.
SIMON: Our relationship has a lot to do with acceptance. Wayne is totally unreliable; he will most likely let you down. But when you catch up with him it is totally worthwhile. It’s frustrating in some ways, highly gratifying in others. Our friendship is the insane/sane zone.
WAYNE: The other day my wife asked me if I texted Simon about his diverticulitis. I said, “Are you crazy? I’m not going to waste Simon’s diverticulitis on a text or email. I’m not going to have that juicy discussion face-to-face. The material is just too good.”
SIMON: My life is full, rich, interesting and perfectly fine. But it is better when Wayne’s in it.
WAYNE: There is no neediness in this relationship. We are whole people without it. We don’t demand or need anything of each other. All I know is that my life is much more fun and interesting when Simon is around.
Karen and Robin at the Zephyr Cafe in East Fremantle.Credit: Mark Naglazas
‘We had so much freedom’: Karen and Robin forged a friendship out of doors
KAREN: Robin and I have been friends for 50 years. Since we were ten.
ROBIN: That’s giving away our age!
KAREN: We both grew up in Attadale, which had a lot of natural bush in those days. We spent all our time at the bottom of Burke Drive riding our bikes and tadpoling and building cubbies and having bush picnics.
ROBIN: We also spent a lot of time together in Yunderup where both our families had beach houses. Ours was in North Yunderup and Karen’s was in South Yunderup.
KAREN: It was fabulous. We used to swim across the river to get to each other’s place. And you had the cafe on your side, Robin. I remember putting the money in our mouths to swim across to get an ice cream.
ROBIN: We had so much freedom compared to kids today. We would go up and down the Murray River in dinghies all the way up to Pinjarra and to Ravenswood. You probably need a skipper’s licence for that now.
KAREN: And we used to do it in our bikinis!
ROBIN: I went on to do teaching and Karen went on to dental therapy. Then we both married and had families. So we drifted apart and didn’t start seeing each other until about three years ago.
KAREN: Even though decades had passed and we both had separate and very different lives we just both dropped back into our friendship, as if we were still kids playing down on the river.
Robin has an authenticity that I value. She is a very genuine person. There are no airs and graces. No pretence. And there’s no competition.
ROBIN: I was only saying this to my daughter this morning — the people you stay friends with when you are young you stay friends with forever. No matter how much water has gone under the bridge, when I see her it’s as if there has never been a break.
KAREN: Reconnecting with Robin has been very important for me. In those young years when you are being a mother you put your children and your husband first and you lose yourself. Now that the kids are older you have time to reconnect with your previous life and rediscover yourself.
ROBIN: The friends you make when you’re raising kids tend to be other parents. They’re not who you choose. Now I am choosing to spend time with people who I have a deeper connection with, like Karen.
KAREN: Robin has an authenticity that I value. She is a very genuine person. There are no airs and graces. No pretence. And there’s no competition. You don’t have to dress up to impress, or beat her. It’s just a great friendship.
ROBIN: I feel very safe and comfortable with Karen. I can tell Karen a secret and I know it’s going to stay a secret. And I hope she can do the same with me.
KAREN: We both like the outdoors. So whenever we schedule a catch-up it has to be around water. The outdoors are part of what we both are.
ROBIN: I’m still working and don’t see as much of Karen as I’d like, but we have reignited the friendship. I’m sure after I retire it will keep growing.
KAREN: I worry about my husband, who doesn’t have a lot of close friends. Women have always leaned on each other. I think that is why women are able to maintain friendships and men struggle.
Allyson (left) and Gabby (right) at Picabar in Northbridge.Credit: Mark Naglazas
From hot-desking to hanging out: Allyson and Gabby
GABBY: When I came to Perth from New Zealand to work in a large engineering company I found it difficult to make friends. There are a lot of older people who are married with families, so they’re at a different stage of life from me.
ALLYSON: Gabby and I both work on the same team. We found ourselves sharing a hot desk and asking each other questions. We got on well, so we started booking the same desk every single day. The rest, as they say, is history!
GABBY: I’m a very independent person, so I’m picky when it comes to making new friends. They have to be really worth it for me to want to spend time with them. And to bridge that gap between work and real life is an even bigger challenge. There are, like, 500 people in our company, so you have to cherry-pick. There are not many people we socialise with outside of work.
ALLYSON: Making friends as you get older is really difficult. When you are young you have the same friends as when you were a kid. As you get older you become more careful about who you want in your life. Even though I’m from California and Gabby is from New Zealand, we were in the same headspace. She knew what kind of people she wanted in her life and wasn’t willing to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. She is really authentic, which is one of the reasons we get on so well.
GABBY: It didn’t happen instantly, like in a movie. We are both kind of awkward and introverted. We stick to ourselves and don’t open up easily. Our relationships tend to be about quality rather than quantity.
ALLYSON: When we got over that initial hesitation, everything happened really fast. It was almost exponential. “Oh, there’s drinks at the office after work. Let’s go! My partner’s in town. Let’s all go have dinner together!”
GABBY: While we are both shy and don’t open up easily, once we bonded we started to share details about our private lives. It’s only been six months, yet nothing between us is off-limits.
ALLYSON: When you are open with a person it is easier to set boundaries. If you don’t want to go out you say “I’m thinking of staying in” and not upset them. They respect your choices.
GABBY: We did our first trip together recently — to Singapore. Allyson joined me and my boyfriend, who used to live in Singapore and showed us around. Allyson was really open and went with the flow.
ALLYSON: Travelling together can be hard on relationships, but in our case it worked it was great. It cemented our friendship. It showed us that we can have a real-life friendship outside of work.
GABBY: I’m so grateful I found Allyson. I don’t know what I would have done living here without her.
ALLYSON: We are both so similar, so it’s weird that we both ended up in Perth working in the same company.
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