Six small (but effective) ways to connect with your neighbours

There’s a lot of talk about Australia’s loneliness epidemic. Despite most of the country’s population living in cities, somehow we’ve reached a point where many have little or no connection with the people in their immediate vicinity. Add to that an international environment where the politics of division have become ubiquitous and we find ourselves even less inclined to make pleasantries with the neighbours.

While some extol the virtues of grand events such as street parties or school fetes to build stronger communities, executive director of Relationships Australia Nick Tebbey says there’s beauty in the small gestures which have the capacity for lasting impact.

When life gives you lemons, share them with the neighbours.Credit: Getty Images/Johner RF

“It’s about keeping it simple, which is more sustainable over time,” he says.

Stronger connections reduce our sense of loneliness, Tebbey says, which also has serious impacts for our mental and physical health.

“It also builds greater resilience because I know people in my local area are available should I need them.”

Small acts, where the social stakes are low, are a great starting point. If a gesture doesn’t land well, try something else. It’s about sustainable behaviours with long-term benefits, says Tebbey, who points to Relationships Australia’s Neighbours Every Day program as a resource for change.

Here’s six easy-to-action ideas to get the neighbourhood ball rolling.

Just keep mowing

If you already have the mower out on the weekend, and the neighbour’s nature strip looks a little shaggy, Tebbey says it’s not much extra effort to cut their grass too, as it were. This can be especially welcome where the neighbour is elderly or has mobility issues.

“We have a thing on our street where whoever has the mower out first on Saturday morning will mow a few nature strips,” says Tebbey. “It doesn’t take much.”

Share the produce

That backyard staple, the lemon tree, is a great starting point to build connection with the neighbours, passersby, whoever. Unless you’re a serious preserver, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to use all the lemons on a mature tree, so put the excess fruit out on the street with a ‘free’ sign. A bucket or planter attached to the fence is best for this, to eliminate the chances of a local dog relieving itself on your homegrown produce. If you don’t have lemons, any robust fruit or herbs such as rosemary work just as well. Premium products like eggs or honey are best kept for close friends.

Become a front-garden gardener

Increase your chances of incidental interaction with the neighbours simply by being in the front garden. Plant some new trees, do some weeding or get stuck into pruning – and take your time. Include flowering plants that you can pick for the house, which will provide further reasons to linger. This has potential to casually connect you with other local garden lovers, and even swap cuttings. And what’s the worst that can happen? A beautiful garden?

Being present in the front garden increases the opportunity for incidental interactions with the neighbours.Credit: Getty Images

Decorate the house

Whether you’re mad about Christmas or the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras is more your vibe, let the neighbourhood know by decorating the front of your house. While some like to keep the party going all year, there’s something about a temporary ‘installation’ that can enhance the impact and the response from neighbours. If you’re keen on some direct contact, consider focusing on Halloween, where it’s likely kids and their parents will knock on your door.

Do the coffee run

On your way to grab a coffee or pick up a bottle of milk? Check in with the neighbour to see if they might like the same. This is especially useful if you have a corner shop or convenience store nearby with a limited range of stock – no one wants to end up being someone’s proxy at the supermarket. Unless you want to, there’s no need to make a habit of it, but it’s a small neighbourly gesture that will not only lift their day, but yours as well.

Shop local

There are a number of initiatives around, mostly supported by local chambers of commerce, to encourage people to spend in their local community, but this is more than that. Micro-chats with the barista or local business owner, who oftentimes live in the area as well, will benefit you as much as put money in their pockets. It’s also a great excuse to get out into your local neighbourhood and increase the chances of bumping into people you know. Besides, there’s nothing nicer than walking into your local cafe where they greet you with a smile – and your favourite brew.

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