Our company chair patronises me in board meetings. Can I make them stop?

Each week, Dr Kirstin Ferguson tackles questions on workplace, career and leadership in her advice column, “Got a Minute?” This week: a challenging chair, getting a reference from your current boss and job-hunting at 60.

Board members should all understand that culture is set from the top.Credit: Dionne Gain

I am part of a senior executive team that has rebuilt our employee culture after our sector was decimated from COVID. We have seen lots of change with our board, and have a new external chair. They are familiar with the sector, although it’s not their professional background. The chair patronises me and my chief executive in meetings, despite our experience. Their behaviour is challenging to navigate as they are literally in the building for the meeting and then out again, often snapping at us and leaving. If it were someone in my team, I’d feel confident to have a conversation about our culture and company values, and explain why this communication style is challenging. But I’m finding this really difficult to imagine with a board member, let alone the chair. What do you advise?

The first person you need to speak with is your CEO. Does your CEO also struggle with your chair’s conduct and manner? Have you asked your CEO for advice on how they recommend you proceed?

It sounds like your chair doesn’t understand culture is set from the top. Someone needs to provide feedback to the chair on the impact their behaviour is having, and if that feedback is to come from management, it has to come from the CEO. If the CEO and chair have a reasonably open relationship, that may be easy enough but in your case, I think this feedback is best coming from the board.

I would hope other directors are also noticing the impact the chair is having on the corporate culture. One of the board’s jobs is to monitor culture and that includes how they see the board functioning with management.

Most boards have a review process and the best reviews seek feedback from the management team. That would be an ideal opportunity for you and your colleagues to provide anonymous feedback about the behaviour of the chair.

If a review is not imminent, your CEO can consider asking another board member for their advice on how to tackle the situation. If your CEO explains the impact the chair’s manner is having, including the fear of speaking up, the director should work to find a way to provide this feedback without damaging the board’s relationship with management.

It’s a tricky situation, so best of luck!

I’m looking at finding a new job to be closer to home as my commute has become quite tiresome, between two and three hours a day. My current employer doesn’t know I’m job hunting, but I’ll have to tell them at some stage, as I’d like my manager to be a reference. How do I navigate this with my current manager and new employer? Currently, my CV says that references can be provided upon request: can that be off-putting to hiring managers?

Recruiters and future employers usually understand that they can’t contact references until you are offered – and accept – the new role. At that point, you need to let your current employer know and ask whether they would be happy to be a referee for you. If they agree, you can then let the hiring manager know it is OK for them to contact your referee. I wouldn’t be too concerned about the “references can be provided upon request” line, as that is very common. If needed, you can verbally let the hiring manager know who your referees are likely to be and explain one is your current boss.

I am a 60-year-old employee working in HR and have been in my current role for two years. However, it isn’t my preferred position; is it unrealistic to consider pursuing another role at this point in my career and life?

I don’t want to give you any false hope so yes, I suspect you will find it challenging to pursue another role at your age. That isn’t how it should be, but I would be lying to suggest you will find it as easy as you might have 20 years ago. That said, it sounds like you got the job you are currently in at 58, so what do I know?! If you feel there is no chance of adapting the role you are in to be the kind of role you prefer, there is no harm in testing the job market. I say go for it! I, for one, hope you go straight to the top of the recruiters’ lists. You have more HR experience than most, and I am sure they would be lucky to have you.

To submit a question about work, careers or leadership, visit kirstinferguson.com/ask (you will not be asked to provide your name or any identifying information. Letters may be edited).

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