In an era of wellbeing obsessions, I’ve become deeply sober un-curious

Is the purpose of life to survive the longest or enjoy it the most? Right now, society has become so obsessed with optimal health that I fear it’s making us unwell or, at the very least, entirely joyless. And personally, I’d prefer to experience rich, brilliant years as opposed to regimented virtuous ones.

A decade ago, the gold standard of a Sunday morning used to be a luxurious sleep in after too many drinks the night before, followed by a hearty breakfast with friends. Then maybe a movie, reading a book, pottering in the garden, or a boozy long lunch. And, sure, maybe some exercise.

Those who choose not to drink shouldn’t be stigmatised, but alcohol is powerful in bringing people together. Credit: iStock

These days, we’re told to rise before the sun, journal, take an ice bath, fast until after lunch, and avoid having a glass of wine with dinner. Some people are even abstaining from sex – all with the goal of improving their health and living longer. Honestly, you couldn’t pay me to live 80-plus years of that.

Many of these new “healthy hacks” are self-flagellation in disguise; a weird and mysterious test of discipline in the hope of getting an extra couple of years out of life. But it’s worth questioning if perhaps something less admirable than healthy choices could be lurking below the surface, something US psychologist Jonathan Haidt raised in an interview with actor Dax Shepard on Shepard’s podcast, Armchair Expert.

When Shepard said that the so-called “anxious generation” is struggling with poor mental health but “thriving in other departments”, Haidt took issue.

“On a lot of the self-destructive metrics, their behaviour is better – that’s all true,” he said.

“Does that mean they’re thriving? Why are they not drinking? Why are they not driving cars? Why are they not dating? Why are they not getting pregnant? Why do you think it is? Because they’re so wise? No. Because they’re not with other people. They’re not doing anything. If you’re just on your bed all day long, scrolling through social media, then you’re not going to be doing any of those things.”

A 2023 report by Ending Loneliness Together found that 41.1 per cent of Australians aged 18 to 24 suffer from persistent loneliness. And according to the ABC’s 2019 Australia Talks survey, 40 per cent of people aged 18 to 24 are still virgins. They’re also drinking less, with 16 per cent of Australians in the same age bracket having never tried alcohol, up from 7 per cent in 2001.

As Haidt points out, they’re not just abstaining from these things because they’re sensible, they’re also petrified of humiliation. Having grown up with their entire lives being documented, they don’t want to embarrass themselves.

Of course, if you have an issue with substance abuse or mental health, those mechanisms might help and should not be frowned upon. But our bizarre and robotic ticker tape parade every time we do away with something indulgent and enjoyable needs to be questioned.

If we stop seeing our friends at night because we want to get up at 4.30am to watch the sun rise while exercising, is that a net positive? Or are we placing too much value on physical health and forgetting the importance of social health.

Sure, we might be mitigating plenty of risk factors for an early death, but in the process we also reduce connection, joy and humour.

Like sharing a meal, in many cultures sharing alcohol or traditional drugs such as kava is seen as an important cultural experience that allows for vulnerability and bonding. Seriously, have you ever seen two drunk girls in the bathroom of a nightclub? Alcohol is powerful in bringing people together.

Of course, those who choose not to drink shouldn’t be stigmatised, and it’s important to assess our own drinking habits regularly. But at the risk of sounding like the Millennial I am, I still think that good can and does come from drinking. Not because our national drinking culture has successfully warped my way of thinking, but because I’ve had some of the funniest and funnest moments of my life while drunk. Alcohol can be the delicious social lubricant that is sometimes needed to make things silly. And right now, the world is a very serious place.

At the end of the day, who wants their tombstone to read that their greatest achievement in life was outliving everyone they knew?

In the words of Oscar Wilde, “everything in moderation, even moderation”.

Cheers to that.

Charlotte Mortlock is the founder of Hilma’s Network and a former Sky News anchor.