To say Nicole Leedham, 54, is busy is an understatement. When she’s not flat out as a freelance writer, she’s at the beck and call of her two teenagers, one of whom is home-schooled.

As an only child whose father died 14 years ago, Leedham is also her mother’s main support, taking her to medical appointments and helping with everyday issues.

Looking after her growing children and ageing mother sometimes leaves Leedham feeling drained and stretched too thin. While her husband is an enormous help, she feels she carries most of the emotional strain. “In the last six months, I remember saying to my husband several times that these things are too much for one person.”

Leedham is part of what’s known as the “sandwich generation”. According to research by the University of Michigan in 2022, sandwich generation caregivers are twice as likely to report financial difficulty, and more likely to report “substantial emotional difficulty” than their peers who only act as caregiver for one generation.

It’s a common modern phenomenon, says psychologist Jocelyn Brewer. “While we’ll often do almost anything to support our loved ones, when that support is required constantly and intensively from both ends of the family, physical and emotional burnout are often on the horizon.”

In such cases, Brewer recommends seeking support. She says seeing a psychologist can arm you with stress-management strategies while providing “a safe space to decompress”.

Organising support for parents, such as collaborating with siblings (if you have any) and investigating available aged-care services, can take weight off your shoulders. Brewer recommends diving deeper to understand clearly what help your parents require, while Leedham suggests reaching out for government assistance.

When you’re under the pump in your personal life, reducing stress in other areas can make for smoother sailing. For Leedham, that includes having weekly help to clean her house.

She’s also thankful she’d established herself in a flexible job before she found herself in her current situation. If your job is more rigid, Brewer recommends chatting to your boss about whether there’s room for more flexibility.

Planning your time can also help. “Having as much regularity in your week or month as possible helps you carve out time for the responsibilities you have,” Brewer says.

If your calendar is packed, Brewer advises cutting back on non-essentials, such as an extracurricular activity for a child. And don’t feel guilty about that. “Not over-scheduling builds space for yourself and downtime for your family,” says Brewer.

After many years of caring for her mother and her children, Leedham is on the verge of a new phase, with her mum finding her feet at an aged-care facility and her oldest child more self-sufficient. “I can see light at the end of the tunnel,” she says. “It’s a relief.”

Evelyn Lewin is a GP and freelance writer.

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