As a teenybopper dosing myself up on Junior Disprin, I dreamt of being several sorts of drug fiend. But it was a short-lived ambition as I could never get over how rarely junkies appeared to wash – elegantly wasted is one thing, but it is ever possible to be elegantly smelly?
The idea of being a speed-crazed hipster seemed far more appealing – all those black clothes and never getting fat were far more appealing to my vanity.
