Victorian parents of Norwood premiership star Nick Lowden reveal the mental battle he suffered in the lead up to his shock death
The courageous Victorian family of Norwood premiership star Nick Lowden have detailed the mental battle their beloved son endured – and what they believe led to his death.
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The parents of a Norwood premiership player who took his life last week says his mental health started to deteriorate after suffering a concussion in his teenage years.
The family of Nick Lowden, 23, have donated his brain to scientific research around concussion and have spoken about his battle in an effort to raise awareness and decrease the stigma around mental health.
Nick’s family and friends will remember him as a respected and talented footballer with a lifelong dream of playing in the AFL.
They say he was a stoic man whose passion for football drove him to move from his Victorian home town of Traralgon in an attempt to catch the eyes of AFL recruiters while playing for Norwood in the SANFL.
But as he strived to fulfil a dream, his parents Tony and Kerry Lowden and sisters Elena, Chelsey and Cailin, knew he was fighting a bigger battle against his own mental demons.
Kerry said the family held “no animosity” towards their son.
“The pain was unbearable (for Nick),” she said.
“Until people have walked in those shoes, they can’t comment that suicide is weak because it’s not, if you get to that stage, you can see no way out.”
Change noted after suffering concussion
Always a happy child and bright student at school, Kerry said they noticed a change when he suffered a concussion at age 18 while playing for Gippsland Power in the TAC Cup.
“He was talking double dutch after that game, he kept asking the same three questions a million times, we were very concerned,” Kerry said.
“We don’t lay any blame on anyone, but from that point on we noticed his mental health really start to deteriorate.”
She said over the ensuing weeks, Nick lost weight, he wasn’t engaged at school and he was forced to miss about six weeks of football.
“It really devastated and frightened us because he was going downhill,” Kerry said.
“That was the year he wanted to showcase his talents to be drafted and we all just kept trying to encourage him.
“He didn’t get drafted and of course that happens, but from that point on we sort of had a five year battle with his mental health.”
The family rode every wave of that battle, moving heaven and earth to be there for Nick when he needed them most.
Despite his struggles, one thing that never wavered was Nick’s determination.
“The thing that he always had was passion, he was a fierce competitor,” Kerry said.
“One thing that I always admired about him and that his father taught him from a young age was to be a team player... he always cared for others and looked after his mates.”
That culminated in the young midfielder becoming a key pillar of Norwood’s SANFL premiership side in 2022.
But almost a year on, with his season riddled by injury, Nick sent a text to his parents - who were away on holiday - that he “wasn’t coping” and he was heading home to Traralgon.
“We always dropped anything to talk to him when he said he was struggling,” she said.
“We really were adamant we wanted to fly him back because he was sliding, but he wanted to drive, maybe for a chance to clear his head.”
During his visit to the regional town in Victoria’s east, he returned to his beloved Traralgon Football and Netball Club, where he was welcomed back with open arms.
He attended a club function and trained with the senior team on August 1, marking the last time many of his closest mates would see him.
His father, Tony, said that was also the last day the family had contact.
“He asked us when we were coming home and we told him Thursday, and of course, that’s when we found him,” he said.
Kerry said they now believe he found it too painful to talk to them at the end.
“He had made up his mind and he would have known that if he said anything to us we were going to drop everything to be there,” she said.
Family determined to make a difference
Just a little more than a week on from his death, the Lowden family are determined to make a difference.
While they understood Nick’s internal struggles, most others didn’t.
“He would look at other people who were lighthearted, but we would say, you don’t know what goes on, they could be putting on a facade,” Kerry said.
“There’s this image in our society that we seem very big on that everyone is super successful with material things, all the nonsense rather than the real raw human connection that is vital in your life.”
She said Nick was always a bit negative about speaking out.
“He would say ‘Does it help?’” Kerry said.
“Of course it does, when we speak out, we feel united, we feel camaraderie and you don’t feel alone.”
Norwood premiership teammate Jackson Kelly was among those who never knew about Nick’s internal demons, despite building a close bond in 2022.
“I was new to Norwood and so was Nick... we were both from the country, so just sort of clicked and became mates straight away,” he said.
“He was a lot younger than I thought, as well, so we sort of took him under our wing.”
“We won a flag together and that was unreal. The celebrations after were so good and he was just like any other bloke, just having a good time.”
But for Nick hadn’t shared the battle he was having deeper down.
“I moved back to Wagga in June and had been keeping in touch with Nick through messages, I had a great conversation with him about a week before he passed. I even messaged him two days before and never heard anything back which I thought was strange,” he said.
“When one of my Norwood teammates called to tell me, I was shocked and didn’t know how to feel because I didn’t see it coming at all.”
Jackson said there were no warning signs of any mental health battles.
“He never spoke about anything like that at all, it was just so difficult to comprehend,” he said.
“When you’ve got a close mate like that, when you keep in contact a fair bit, and when there’s not even a single sign, it’s pretty hard to take.”
Pressures of semi-professional football
Jackson didn’t shy away from the overarching stigma of young men’s mental health, even highlighting the pressures at a semi-professional level like the SANFL.
He said it could be a “hostile environment”.
“Everyone’s trying to compete with each other for spots, there’s pressure all the time and then you know, you have other outside influences that can affect you as well,” he said.
“There’s a lot of resources out there though, but it just comes down to whether the person chooses to use them or not.”
He said Nick’s death had been “eye-opening”.
“Some just don’t want to be seen as the guy who is struggling,” he said.
“To not even realise that this was even an option for Nick makes it tough. I just really hope in the future that if I have another friend going through something similar that they know they can talk to me.”
Jackson said he would cherish his memories with Nick for life.
“That photo of us after the grand final, we were on a massive high in life at the time. That was one of the best achievements we could do with footy and I got to do that alongside him,” he said.
“I know he will be remembered as a nice, well-mannered guy that was really focused on his passions - a great mate to have a laugh with.”
Death has rocked his beloved Traralgon club
His death has rocked several communities to the core, but none more so that the Traralgon Football and Netball Club that is coping with its third suicide connected to the club in the past five years.
President Kevin Foley said Nick appeared in great spirits upon his return to the town.
“I spoke to probably 30 people that would have talked to him and had a long chat with him,” he said.
“He chatted to everybody, he had a good time.”
But in hindsight Mr Foley said some now felt like it was his way of saying goodbye.
“We’ll never know if that’s true or not, but certainly nobody picked that he was feeling down when they spoke to him,” he said.
“He has four really close mates he went to primary school with who were just shocked, it was pretty raw when we told them.”
The club held a grieving session with all the players on Tuesday night. The Lowden family attended.
“They’re an unbelievable family. Tony got up in front of everyone and gave a powerful speech where he just implored the boys to talk to each other” he said.
“It was also great opportunity for everyone to share their memories of Nick.
Shift in sporting club’s attitudes towards mental health
Breakthrough Mental Health Research Foundation chief John Mannion said there had been a major shift in sporting club’s attitudes towards mental health.
“Norwood reached out straight away to put support in place for the players, family members and the wider community,” he said.
“They knew they had a role and responsibility and wanted to do something about that to protect people for the future.”
However, with nine people a day dying by suicide and one in five people currently experiencing mental health challenges, Mr Mannion said there is still a journey ahead.
“We know that the more knowledge people have around signs and symptoms, what to look out for, but also what to do when you’re in those challenging periods of time will result in change,” he said.
The Traralgon Football and Netball Club and the Norwood Football Club are set to take the field again today.
Mr Foley said the Traralgon players will honour their great mate.
“They’ll wear black armbands and probably have a guard of honour of some description or link arms, we’ll do something like that,” he said.
“We’ll probably do something a bit more for him later on.”
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