One-eyed Hawthorn supporter Anthony ‘Lehmo’ Lehmann delivers his report of the Hawks’ loss to Richmond
THINK the Hawks are licking their wounds after getting hammered by those head-wobbling Tigers? Think again. It’s all part of Clarko’s brilliant plan. One-eyed Hawthorn supporter Lehmo delivers his report of the qualifying final loss to Richmond.
ALASTAIR Clarkson is a genius.
Muhammad Ali made the rope-a-dope fighting style famous in his 1974 Rumble in the Jungle match against George Foreman.
It’s a style that has been copied many times across many sports ever since but usually teams complete the rope-a-dope and subsequent comeback within the same game.
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Clarko is again breaking the rules and rolling out a rope-a-dope across a finals series.
Let the head wobblers at Richmond build some unwarranted confidence while we storm through the next two weeks and meet up with them again in the Grand Final ready to deliver our killer blow, ala Ali in 1974.
As for the game itself, the Hawks had winners all over the ground.
The ball magnet Tom Mitchell picked up a lazy 38 possessions — which for him actually is lazy, he’s normally up around 50 touches.
Such is his affection for the Sherrin, Mitchell woke up on Friday morning in bed with the match ball.
If a Sherrin was The Bachelor, Mitchell would receive a rose every week. They have a chemistry that runs deeper than the touches we see on the ground.
At the other end of the spectrum is the Irishman Conor Nash who was backpacking around Australia with friends just two months ago when he thought he’d give Aussie rules a crack.
He’s taken to it like an NRL player takes to public nudity — he’s a natural and a fan favourite who will only be the better for Thursday night’s hit out in front of 91,000.
The Hawks have a long proud history of tough backmen with killer hairdos.
From Norm Bussell to Kelvin Moore to Chris Langford and the greatest of them all, Gary Ayres.
Along with Billy Ray Cyrus, Ayres was one of the finest ambassadors of the mullet.
During our 17-year drought from 1991 to 2008 it will come as no surprise that there was no sign of a mullet in our defensive 50.
Thankfully the boys are back in town but they have taken it to a new level.
Our defence actually looks like a 1980s Aussie rock pub band.
Ben Stratton, Blake Hardwick, James Frawley and Ryan Burton. Who wouldn’t want to see Stratts, Dimma, Chip and Burto banging out a few tunes at the Glenferrie Hotel.
Sadly Stratts did a hammy in the third quarter and it’s no coincidence that the Tigers started to take control once he left the ground.
A backline without its lead singer is never going to function as smoothly.
Imagine U2 without Bono or Cold Chisel without Jimmy — someone can jump in and perform covers but it’s just not the same.
If black smoke comes from the chimney of the AAMI Park physio on Monday morning Hawks fans will observe a minute’s silence for his hammy.
There is one outlier in the Hawk backline and that is fan favourite James Sicily — more boy band than pub rock band.
His moves are sweet and we look a much better team with him.
A beautiful footballer who will no doubt win a Brownlow Medal one day and be jeered by opposition fans who seem to have developed a distaste for our boy. The more they boo the more we fall in love.
Congratulations Richmond, as was our plan, you won on the night and have earned the week off.
I used to say that Richmond is a lot like Meatloaf — very successful in the 70s and early 80s, much loved ever since but when it comes to September at the ‘G they are a massive disappointment.
Last year’s Grand Final win put paid to that. I just hope you can spend the week off channelling Meatloaf once again and we’ll see you Grand Final day.
Oh, and if you hear a chopper hovering above the ‘G just before the opening bounce, it’s not part of the entertainment.
It’s the return of the prodigal son — our very own Rioli will be lowered into the centre circle for the opening bounce, after which we will complete our rope-a-dope.
Anthony ‘Lehmo’ Lehmann and say he’s part of the ABC Grandstand team
Originally published as One-eyed Hawthorn supporter Anthony ‘Lehmo’ Lehmann delivers his report of the Hawks’ loss to Richmond
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