Mo Hope withdraws from AFLW Draft to concentrate on family and her own mental health
Former AFLW marquee star Moana Hope had hoped to reignite her career but will instead take a break from the sport she once loved, saying footy had taken her to a ‘dark place’.
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Moana Hope has declared she needs a year away from AFL Women’s to “cleanse” after walking away from Tuesday’s draft, saying football had led her to a “dark place”.
Less than an hour before the AFLW draft kicked off at Melbourne Showgrounds, the 31-year-old said she had withdrawn herself after last month nominating for selection for the 2020 season.
And she said the call had had an immediate effect.
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“It’s been a massive lift off my shoulders,” Hope told the Herald Sun after making the decision.
“I’ve not been this happy coming into summer for a couple of years, so it feels good.”
Hope had been a marquee player for Collingwood in the inaugural season of AFLW before moving to North Melbourne for the 2019 season.
She was delisted by the Kangaroos at the end of the 2019 campaign and played VFL Women’s at Williamstown this year, where she plans to play again in 2020.
Hope said she had met with several clubs – it is understood that there was particular interest from one Victorian club – but was struck by a realization of “I can’t do this” in the lead-up to draft day.
“I feel like when I grew up playing footy, I’d love it,” she said.
“I’d be super-excited, I’d wake up at 5am in the morning on game day and would be keen. Even in VFL, I was that excited. But it just hasn’t been the same experience.
“There’s been so many things that have happened … it’s hurt my heart. I think that’s one of the hardest things to get my head around.
“It just hasn’t been the experience I’d hoped for.”
Hope said she “has got so much going on in life” as she balances caring for her sister Lavinia, who was born with Moebius syndrome, and the health of her mother – who is battling heart issues – and wife Isabella’s mother who is undergoing treatment for breast cancer as she and Isabella look to start a family.
“I don’t know if I could take on that anxiety and stress and go back into that dark place where I’ve been for the last few years (by playing football),” she said.
“Right now, I don’t think I can afford to do that.
“Footy used to be an outlet for me. That was the place I could go. It turned into leaving footy training and crying every night, crying beforehand, or playing a game and getting anxiety. It was never good enough, and that was the problem. I just don’t want to put myself through that mentally again right now.
“I just need a year to cleanse my soul from football and then come back on my terms and not on the terms of other people.”
Hope and wife Isabella Carlstrom – whose mother is currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer – have begun the process to conceive a child with Monash IVF with hopes Carlstrom could be pregnant within weeks.
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She said the pair was six to nine months into the process that she hoped could culminate in conception in coming months.
“It would be a dream come true for both of us,” Hope said.
“We’re so excited. Family is the biggest thing and I’ve got to be there for Bell.”
Originally published as Mo Hope withdraws from AFLW Draft to concentrate on family and her own mental health