What the private Adelaide school you attended says about you
The school you went to says a lot if you ask South Australians. But the private school circuit is exclusive and elusive, and we’re here to help decipher it.
Education
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“What school did you go to?”
It’s a question South Australians are bound to be asked many times across their lifetime when meeting a fellow Croweater.
Why? Because, according to many South Aussies, the answer says a lot about you.
Schools, especially private schools, help shape a young person’s personality and as such students from particular schools can have a tendency to graduate with similar characteristics.
Some private school graduates receive rings or ties to unite them. Some wear theirs with pride, others throw the keepsakes into a cupboard, never to be seen again.
With this in mind, and with our tongue firmly planted in our cheek, we have compiled this lighthearted list* of what your private school says about you.
TELL US WHY IN THE COMMENTS
St Peter’s College
You might have found yourself a Wildy girl straight after high school, who should have probably left you years ago, but never got around to it.
If you went to St Peter’s, chances are you got your first job after university at the law firm your parents use regularly.
And if you’re not a lawyer you’re probably a doctor with plans to get into plastic surgery or become an anaesthetist because someone told you those occupations earn a lot of money.
If you aren’t a lawyer, doctor or consultant you could well be ‘finding yourself’ at the bottom of a wine bottle in the south of France.
If you went to St Peter’s you’re likely keeping RM Williams in business and think Ralph Lauren invented the polo.
Prince Alfred College
But, like them, you’ve probably done a lot since graduating from the hallowed halls of your city-skirt campus.
After school, you probably realised the feud between you and your blue enemies isn’t actually that much of a big deal, and now cringe every time you hear the phrase “bleed blue” or, more importantly in your case, “bleed red”.
Maybe you’ve joined an old scholars’ footy team, but it probably isn’t for the school you actually went to.
A lot of you are probably out conquering the world with law or medicine degrees too, with a nice Seymour or Walford girl by your side.
Like a lot of private school kids though, you’re quick to proudly say you were a Prince Alfred man, and probably keep your blazer somewhere in your now very organised and monochrome Rodd and Gun, Tommy Hilfiger, RM Williams-filled wardrobe.
Scotch College
After you graduated you might have gotten into law at university but there’s a fair chance some of you dropped out when you discovered uni students can’t simply pay to achieve a pass mark.
If that’s the case, perhaps maybe you now study commerce and hope to take over the family business if and when your parents finally learn to trust you.
If you went to Scotch, there’s a fair chance you hold onto the fact that at one point your school was the most expensive private school in Adelaide.
Oh, and you know you went to Scotch if you’ve been in the same long-term relationship since Year Eight.
Pembroke
Considered by many as the best co-ed private learning institution in Adelaide (Scotch will fight you for that title, we’re sure), you know you went to Pembroke if you spent the majority of your cash on chips and gravy at the corner store after school.
You can tell the Pembroke graduates by the very white, very obvious P cap they were given at graduation.
Like all other schools, Pembroke students went to very extravagant formals held in massive venues like the convention centre. But they knew how to party better than most.
One of these formal afterparties, in the mid-2010s, was apparently in the Old Adelaide Gaol. We just want to know whose dad had the keys to that place and, better yet, how did the kids get him to agree to it?
Turns out, if you went to Pembroke, you’re actually not too bad at sport either. You know you’re a Pemmy Old Scholar if you know a strange amount about George Horlin-Smith’s AFL career.
And if Kieran Davidson – or “the Big Brother guy” as most of Adelaide knows him as – was at the school when you were, let’s just hope his terrible driving skills haven’t rubbed off on you.
Seymour
If you went to Seymour, chances are you’re now either a lawyer, doctor or work in marketing. You probably have a Black Watch tartan ribbon stashed in your drawer just in case you need to wear it to your husband’s SPOC Grade D footy presentations this weekend.
The words Highland Cathedral still spark something deep inside you that you’ve tried to repress – after years and years of blocking your ears to the song at countless graduation ceremonies.
Two things have made you cry this year: the bagpipes at Anzac Day (you’ll deny this) and Tiff Manuell shutting down (you’ll also deny this).
If you were cool enough to kiss a boy at the HoR after-party, you’re now playing Old Cols netball and shop regularly at Country Road Unley Metro.
If you didn’t, you’ve moved to Melbourne or London and are “so glad you left your old life behind, Adelaide is so boring anyway”.
Walford
Like the other private girls’ schools across town, you know you went to Walford if you’re thrilled that hair bows are coming back into fashion (or are they?).
Your year’s “it” girls knew every “it” Saints Boy and they’d happily throw their very long, straight hair into a high ponytail to meet the fellas in Rundle Mall on a Friday afternoon too.
How did the sparkling streets of Malvern ever cope with the influx of European vehicles when the fresh P-platers arrived each morning?
You probably have a wardrobe full of the now horrifically discontinued Finders Keepers, C/MEO Collective, Fifth the Label and Keepsake bustiers with little peplums, squished in somewhere next to the “business casual” you think is appropriate to wear to your PR or paralegal job.
You also definitely wanted to go on your Year 10 trip to Europe, and if you did, do you still have the knee-high gumboots you wore around in the cold?
Loreto College
They say you can take the girl out of Loreto but you can never take Loreto out of the girl – probably because most Loreto girls make a point of publicising the fact they went to the eastern suburbs private school any chance they get.
You know you went to Loreto if your first boyfriend went to Rostrevor, but you wish they went to Saints, you spent all your time convincing your parents to let you hang out on The Parade and your first formal dress was from Sass and Bide.
You also know you went to Loreto if you wonder: ‘what would Mary Ward do?’ whenever posed with a decision in life and your favourite sport is bench ball even though you can only play with other Loreto girls because no one else knows how to play (maybe LC does do it best?).
And no matter how long it’s been since a Loreto girl left the gates of the school, they wonder how Mr Hall is doing. (And yes he still works there for those who are wondering).
St Peter’s Girls
If it’s been several years since you’ve graduated and you still know all the lyrics to ‘Shine Jesus Shine’, remain fiercely loyal to your designated school house colour and fear disciplinary action if you go outside without a straw hat and a blazer, chances are you’re a Saints Girl.
Perhaps you followed your Year 10 maths teacher’s advice and studied law or medicine after graduating from the leafy Stonyfell campus, because “doing anything else won’t get you very far”.
Have you settled down with another nice private school graduate? Did the Year 9 co-ed week with Saints Boys set you up for a lifetime of success, or put you off marriage altogether?
Do you still long for the days of finishing gruelling week of studying and walking up Hallett Rd to Taylor Blend for a very expensive, very small iced chocolate before getting either the 580 bus to Burnside Village, or the 141 into the city to hang out with – you guessed it – other private school kids?
Perhaps peaking in high school isn’t actually so bad if you got to drive a brand-new car to school and park it across from Chiverton when you got your license in Year 11.
And prefects, were the white blazers really worth it in the end? Does the position on your resume really get you that much further in life? Did you really go a whole year without spilling coffee down the front of it?
All jokes aside, if you graduated from Saints Girls, you’re probably very successful.
If the school taught you anything, it’s how to achieve and how to make your way in the world, but most importantly, how to make good connections – especially with the doctors and lawyers of Adelaide.
Pulteney Grammar
You know you went to Pulteney Grammar when you think you aren’t like other private school students, but some of your cohort were among the biggest snobs of them all.
Also, what’s the go with all those years you spent building up your shoulders in the row team and why was rowing the only sport your school ever took seriously – even though your school had the best tennis courts (used by Lleyton Hewitt in his hey day) in the state.
You know you went to Pulteney when you have to explain to people it was “the school with the bridge” but they still think you are talking about St Andrew’s.
Oh, and you know you went to Pulteney when the sight of a beige high-waisted pencil skirt makes you shudder, when your interactions with other schools were on the city tram and you still know the Central Market like the back of your hand.
Mercedes College
If you want to find a Mercedes graduate all you need to do is go to The Ed at Mitcham – that’s where they tend to congregate.
If you went to Mercedes College there’s a fair chance you’re still dreaming of becoming a cool muso or artist, (like fellow alumni Teresa Palmer, Orianthi and Allday) but you’re still stuck in the city rat-race.
Only the most attentive Mercedes students were able to remember the difference between all three Mr Heads, so three cheers for any of you who can still do so now that you have graduated.
Some Mercedes graduates like to think their education was far superior than Unley High (just down the road) but was it? Really? Or did your parents just pay a lot more for the same results.
If you went to Mercedes you’re probably a lawyer but forgive us if you’ve already read that so far. Or you’re holidaying in Italy with your girl gang … once again sorry if you’ve already read that.
Wilderness
You know you went to Wilderness when the Aje employees know you not only by name but also by size.
Dominating Rundle St and Burnside Village, these girls know how to dress and are never caught in the same thing twice.
You likely wear your grad ring everyday even though you graduated years ago and are often seen comparing its size to other private school alumni in the law school corridors.
Old school Wildy girls are often hardcore feminists and while they often are loyal partners, they put their friends first and will never say no to a girls’ night out or maybe girls’ Euro summer …
Saint Ignatius College
How’s that chip on your shoulder from not being allowed to go to Schoolies? Perhaps that’s why so many St Ignatius old scholars become Toolies?
Less kind observers than ourselves might suggest that you know you went to St Iggies when your friendship group resembles a cult – because you were asked to say a prayer before every lesson in high school. We, of course, would never suggest this.
How is your career as an accountant or lawyer going? Perhaps you’re reading this while on a much deserved end-of-financial-year holiday in Europe.
If you went to St Iggies and you’re a woman you might have developed a fear of tartan due to the floor-length woollen skirt you were mandated to wear through school.
You can’t walk through Rundle Mall without fear of a teacher jumping out from behind a rack of clothes telling you to button your top button or pull up your socks after you were seen with a slack uniform once after Speech Day.
Christian Brothers College
If you went to CBC its probably because your parents couldn’t afford to send you to Saints Boys or PAC. And fair play to them, because are those exorbitant fees really worth it?
You’re either very successful now, or have never spoken to your fellow private school brothers ever since you left school.
You’re probably really jealous that the CBC boys of today have scrapped their mandatory summer and winter uniform.
If you’re into sports your idol is probably Adelaide United legend Marcelo Carrusca because he’s one of the only cool people who is associated with your school.
And if you went to CBC, whatever happened to your girlfriend from Saint Aloysius College who was in Year 11 when you met at the very embarrassing dance lessons with the girls’ school when you were in Year 9?
Saint Aloysius College
How does it feel to know that most other private school girls didn’t actually consider you in the same league, but still all pitched the idea of adopting a similar purple uniforms at their Year 6 SRC meetings?
You totally hated that uniform though, didn’t you? Because the brown was so unflattering and the purple-grey mix was so clearly picked out by someone’s very colourblind grandmother.
You probably spent a lot of time walking around Victoria Square to catch the tram down to Rundle Mall when you had a free period.
Did you ever actually end up with the CBC boy you were obsessed with through your final years? Or did you land yourself a “real” private school boy in the end?
Trinity College Gawler
You know you went to Trinity College because you’re surprised to see it included in this list.
You are, depending on your place in its stratified northern suburbs fake hierarchy, thrilled to be even mentioned in the same breath as the ivy leagues or laughing riotously at the not-so-subtle dig at your alma mater.
If you’re really happy to be included, you’re likely a former student who’s become a teacher or a “cool youth pastor” who, unable to make it in your chosen career, fell back on being “tight with the kids”.
You’ll tell anyone who listens that Trinity was just as good – nay, even better – than the inner-city colleges, if only to soothe the wounds of non-stop football trouncings, netball decimations or failed job interviews when your resume is compared with your “peers”.
Your devotion runs so deep that you still play for their sports sides just to shore up that sense of outsiderly belonging.
* Our lawyers wanted us to add that anything mentioned in the above list might or might not be factually correct.
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