Grant and Emma Stevens talk about their son Charlie’s lifesaving organ donations following his tragic death at Schoolies in 2023

While Grant wishes his son Charlie’s smile could have been donated, the Stevens family has received uplifting news they weren’t expecting ahead of a heartbreaking milestone.

Grant and Emma Stevens always knew their son Charlie had a heart of gold.

And this week, on the eve of the 12-month anniversary of the 18-year-old’s tragic death near Victor Harbor, they were reminded of that yet again.

Late on Friday, the Stevens’ received confirmation from organ donation authority DonateLife that the person whose life Charlie’s heart had saved had written them a letter of thanks.

They’ll likely receive the letter early this week. It will be the fourth of its type and follows “bittersweet” notes of gratitude from those who have received Charlie’s liver, kidney and corneas.

They are proud of their “kind and generous” son’s choice to be an organ donor and say the touching letters offer a brief respite from the constant heartache of missing Charlie – the adored youngest of five children – which continues to grow each day they are without him.

Emma and Grant Stevens are proud of their “kind and generous” son’s choice to be an organ donor. Picture: Russell Millard Photography

Shedding tears on learning of the latest letter – to be redirected by Donate Life, due to strict rules around anonymity – the Stevens family doesn’t yet know what it contains.

“I can’t tell you anything, I haven’t seen it, (the transplant co-ordinator) has just rang to say she has received it today and, if we’d like it, she will put in the mail – I said, ‘OMG, yes please’ … when I heard about the letter, I cried,” Emma says.

Tearing up again, she shares that she thinks “all the time” of those who’ve been helped by Charlie’s donation, grateful another family has been saved from “going through this”.

Her South Australian Police Commissioner husband describes the letters as being “beautiful to receive but hard to read”.

“It is bittersweet; it is really nice to read that someone’s life has been saved, or dramatically improved, but it reminds you of how you became in a situation to receive one of those letters,” he says.

Big-hearted Charlie

Charlie, well-known for his cheeky grin and regarded as “the centre of the world” by family and close friends, died after being struck by a car at last year’s Schoolies Festival.

The fun-loving, thriving young tradie opted as a 16-year-old Learner driver to become an organ donor.

A young tradie with a big smile — and even bigger heart. Picture: Supplied

Charlie was well known for his cheeky grin. Picture: Supplied

His heartbroken family say they didn’t hesitate to honour his wishes when the unthinkable happened on that awful night, a year ago this weekend.

“It would have been such a waste … Charlie is not here but he is not wasted … there are people who are still alive today because of him,” Emma says.

“He didn’t hesitate (to tick the box) … as a family we sat with the kids and talked about (him being an organ recipient) but it wasn’t a hard decision at all, it was just what we were going to do.”

Their big-hearted son’s ultimate, altruistic act has given new life to seven strangers, including a young father who has previously written to the family to share his gratefulness for, “the gift of life again, the opportunity to look at the future and see my kids go through school, reach milestones and maybe even get married … this is what your family has given me”.

Despite their heartache, Emma and Grant retain their trademark humour and stoicism as they speak about their cherished son, described in a heartfelt letter penned by his grieving police boss dad soon after his death as “cheeky, intense and funny – a loveable ratbag”.

While this interview is filled with raw emotion and tears, there is also laughter too – and love.

“You feel sorry for some of those people who might have got a bit of Charlie … you go ‘Geez, do you really want that?’,” Emma smiles.

While Grant reckons the world would be better off, if only Charlie’s smile could have been preserved and given to those “who could do with a smile transplant”.

“Unfortunately you can’t donate smiles because (Charlie) certainly had a decent one … his was infectious,” he says.

“(Charlie) was a pretty special kid – he had his faults, there is no doubt about that – but he was very generous and very considerate … he would look after the underdog; we were really proud of how kind and how generous he was, his mates were never left behind.”

Charlie’s legacy

Grant says his wish is for Charlie’s decision to donate his organs to continue to inspire others to do the same while also encouraging people to openly talk to loved-ones about their intentions.

“I suppose we are hopeful that other young people understand how important it is and to make that same decision,” he says.

“You never want to be in a situation as family members where you are asked to confirm that (organ donation) decision but it makes it so much easier if the person has already shared their intentions.

“When you look at some of the statistics around organ donors, (you realise) we need more people making that decision and we need families to confirm that decision … there are only about 1500 people a year who die in hospital in circumstances that make them eligible to be an organ donor.

“Of these, only about half the families say ‘Yes’ … I think there is something like 1800 people on the list waiting for a transplant – and around 14,000 additional people on dialysis, many of whom could benefit from a kidney – so the numbers just don’t add up.

“We need more Australians to say ‘Yes’ … it’s not a pleasant conversation but not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow, means you have to have those talks today, to make sure you make the right choices and those choices benefit other people who are desperately waiting for a lifesaving donation.”

He describes as “just amazing” the nurses who supported his family through the process as their nightmare unfolded.

“They are such good people, the way they treated us and the way they looked after Charlie was so caring and respectful – they make a really hard time that little bit easier,” he says.

He acknowledges, too, Charlie’s death has made his day job harder: “Now, when I am briefed on road fatalities, there is another dimension – it is not easy, especially (when it’s) young people ... we just don’t want other people to experience what we have had to go through and unfortunately it is happening every week.”

Life without Charlie

Twelve long months on from losing their beautiful boy, whose broad-smiling face now appears as the screensaver on the phones of his mum, dad and each of his siblings, the close-knit family remain gripped by grief, dreading the reminders this weekend will bring.

His broken-hearted mum says, for her, “it is getting harder now”.

“I just think our family is not complete … I don’t even want to have new photos (taken) anymore because Charlie is not going to be in them,” she says, her voice welling with emotion and eyes filling with tears.

“We have Charlie, and photos of Charlie, everywhere ... you imagine if he was here.

“We talk about him all the time, we still laugh and the ‘f** off Charlie’ thing still comes out.

Emma with her youngest son, Charlie, as a baby. Picture: Supplied

Charlie was the light of his family, from a young age. Picture: Supplied

“I just miss him … it’s not just one thing (I miss most), it is just him and who he was; he wasn’t an angel but he was just so kind and generous and loving.

“Charlie would always be out … he was hardly ever home and there was alway a million people with him but even if it was just 30 seconds as he would run in, quickly change out of his work gear, you’d always get either a glimpse or yell from the hallway – ‘I’ve got to go … to the skatepark, or I’m going to meet the boys, or I’m going to the pub’ – but now you don’t.

“It is how it is (but) it still doesn’t seem real … and it sort of doesn’t feel like it has been a year, either.”

Her husband agrees Charlie’s absence is only felt more intensely as each day without him passes.

“It is not one thing, it is (his) whole life … we’d go for days without seeing Charlie but he would come home and now he doesn’t,” he says, the sadness and deep heaviness of sorrow behind his eyes palpable.

“I think it is with you everyday, it is not a linear thing … you see things, or you are reminded of things that make you feel really sad, and then there are other times you laugh at something that he would have done or said.

“I think we all have those moments of sadness … all of our family are dealing with not having Charlie in their own way but very similarly.

‘I think we all have those moments of sadness’, says dad Grant on trying to come to terms with the loss of his youngest son. Picture: Supplied

“It is not any one thing, it is just the absence … it is just not having that person in your life, whether you are sitting there having dinner or watching TV, not even talking, it is just their presence.

“Watching his mates when they come to our place, you can’t help but smile but you also remember that Charlie is not there with them.

“You do dread the milestones; the birthdays, Christmases, Mother’s Days, Father’s Days … it is only this (first year anniversary) we’ve not yet done.”

But, while their hearts are broken and lives forever changed, the ever-inspirational Stevens say life must go on.

“I took time away from work, nearly three months, but you have to make a decision, whether you are going to keep moving forward or not … not moving forward is not really an option when you do have other kids and grandchildren,” Grant says.

As happens so often throughout the interview, husband and wife nod in understanding, finishing each other’s thoughts and sentences.

Emma says: “My thing straight away was, ‘we have still got four other children, life still has to go on.’”

But what she dreaded most, in the early days, was the mundane, everyday tasks that took her outside the sanctuary of her home.

“I think the hardest thing was just going out for the first time, going public and obviously being known ... you know, just going to the supermarket, it was just a nightmare … (people were) very kind but it was constant,” she says.

‘Family is everything’

Today, it is the little “Charlie things” she misses most; those pesky teenage habits that irk parents the world over, such as messy bedrooms or wet towels dumped on the floor.

“Now, I would pick those (wet towels) up forever, instead of yelling … if he was here, I’d even drop it myself just to say, ‘I will pick it up for you’,” she says, eyes brimming with tears.

“You realise the little things don’t matter … it’s the big things in life that do, not the stupid little things that are just nothing; the messy bedroom, the cup or the plate left out that used to annoy me … now, I couldn’t care less, it wouldn’t bother me at all.

“Just don’t even worry about the small things ... you just don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.”

Charlie, left, was the youngest of his close-knit family. Pictured here at sister Sophie’s wedding with brothers Josh, Dylan and Tom. Picture: Supplied

And what of the KFC wrappers in his room dad Grant refers to in his heartbreaking letter introducing his son as “101” – the 101st life lost on SA’s roads in 2023 – that touched the hearts of the nation.

“They’ve gone but I will admit the beer bottles and cans are still in there, the recycling is still where it was left next to the couch,” Emma laughs.

“I do say sometimes, ‘Boys do you reckon you should do something about this?’”

The family will be together at Christmas with Gold Coast-based Tom, who shared an intensely close bond with Charlie at just three years his senior and enjoying the same activities such as sport, surfing skateboards and music, heading home.

But as well as Charlie, Emma’s late dad and sister will also be absent from the table this year.

”Family is more important now, we will be together at Christmas but have three people missing ... we will feel Charlie’s loss the most,” Grant says.

Still, it seems, there’s a touch of Charlie shining through in the next generation with sister Sophie Tregloan’s young son Ollie, who is almost three – she also has daughter Annabelle Charlie, almost one – uncannily like his uncle.

“My God … (there’s), a lot of Charlie in Ollie … he always has a ball in his hand or a cricket bat, or a tennis racquet, or a footy … and he just does not sit still,” she laughs.

“I often call Ollie ‘Charlie’, it just comes out because they are so similar.”

# The teenager charged over Charlie’s death, Dhirren Randhawa, now 19, was last month given a suspended sentence of one year, one month and seven days in prison, taking into account a 25 per cent discount for his guilty pleas. He has been disqualified from driving for 10 years.