Peter Goers: We can’t live without the internet but AI may prove the internet can live without us

Peter Goers once thought the internet would never catch on. Now it has, he’s wondering if we are better off?

We live in a virtual world, rather than looking out at the real one, Peter Goers says.

What’s worse? My best friend (a woman) is always right whereas I’m always wrong. My friend was an internet pioneer, an early “netizen”, whereas I never sent an email until 2003. Indeed, in these pages, 30 years ago I scoffed at the internet and said it would never catch on.

It did.

Sometimes I wish it hadn’t caught on. Even for those of us who lived most of our lives without the internet it is now almost impossible to imagine life without it. Phones were immobile, urgent messages came by telegram, we wrote and received lots of letters, there were cheques (and balances), you sought information from books and you took pics (snaps) on an actual camera, on actual film – and you took that film to the chemist and waited a week to see the developed prints.

Along came the internet and now even instant gratification takes too long.

The internet is now a way of life. It is invaluable. It is miraculous. We cannot live without it. AI may prove that the internet can live without us.

We all use it. I was having a consultation with a doctor who, flummoxed by my symptoms, consulted Google. We live not in the information age but the TMI age – too much information. I have 11,134 emails on my computer and 6522 pics. My “netizen” friend has more than 103,000 pics. Try and find a photo. The internet is an oracle in the palm of your hand. Everyone now knows everything about everything and everybody. We live online. We happily look at pictures of sunsets while ignoring the actual sunset out of our window. Windows is more important than windows. We talk to people all around the world and don’t know our neighbours. Community is virtual.

The internet has been a boon for pornographers and conspiracy theorists. Incredibly, 35 per cent of all downloads are porn – and the rest is cat videos. If you believe that the late Queen and the Clintons are shapeshifting lizard pedophiles who operate out of a pizza shop in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, and if you believe that the Covid vax turns you gay, you’ll soon find lots of friends on the internet because it is an echo chamber. The internet also provides highly efficient and insidious ways to bully people.

We happily look at pictures of sunsets while ignoring the actual sunset out of our window, Peter Goers says.

What is the cloud? It’s like God – you can’t see it, it may or may not be there but we are all ransomed to it. Pay money or we will make all your personal information disappear.

What if, one day, the internet implodes? Computers often fail, which causes chaos. What if it all disappears? This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with us all turning computers off and on again in vain. Keep your books, print all your important pics and if you can still write with a pen, do so. And beware of geeks bearing GIFs.

Once upon a time there were two speed limits – 60 km/h in built-up areas and 110km/h on the open road. Then it was 50km/h and now its 40km/h in some council areas. Apparently, slower speeds are safer for pedestrians. So, the logic of this is that 30km/h is even safer, or 10km/h or 5km/h. We may yet return to what the earliest motorists did in their horseless carriages and drive at 5km/h with a man walking in front of the automobile waving a flag.

Governments love lowering speed limits because it raises vast revenue in speeding fines. Thousands of drivers have been fined for unconsciously doing 60km/h in a 50 zone. Everyone wants 40km/h in their own street but are frustrated by it in every other street. Unley has so many variable speed limits, blocked streets and speed humps that it’s a relief that there’s no reason to go there.

Pedestrians need to follow ye olde rule – look to the right, look to the left and look to the right again which, incidentally, is the way politics have gone throughout the world.

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