Art wins the popularity contest but sport runs away with all the money | Peter Goers

Apparently only toffs from the leafy suburbs engage with art whereas sport is for battlers, writes Peter Goers.

Miss Apprehension is not just a great name for a drag queen.

Misapprehension seems to be pervasive in SA at the moment.

The big misapprehension is that art is elite and sport is for, by and with the people. What’s more elitist than millionaire AFL jocks kicking pigskin to one another?

Apparently only toffs from the leafy suburbs engage with art whereas sport is for battlers. Nonsense.

Sport is easily avoided. It’s niche.

Art is unavoidable because it’s everywhere and everything.

If you’ve ever owned or followed a Holden car you’ve appreciated the Holden Lion badge and logo, designed by the sculptor Rayner Hoff in 1927.

It is the best known and most popular work of art in Australia, If you listen to music, read a book, watch TV, look at a building, tell a story, listen to a story, doodle, stick your kid’s kindergarten painting on the fridge, look at the design and packaging of anything, if you’ve clocked a mural, a painting, been to the theatre, to a concert of any kind, if you’ve looked at a football guernsey or the crepe banner footballers run through, watched fireworks, if you’ve whistled, hummed, laughed at a cartoon, sung in or listened to a choir or a speech, been tattooed and worn clothes you are embracing art.

And, sorry to say, you are in no way an elitist.

Art unites and defines us. Sadly, sport divides us.

LIV golf boss Greg Norman and Premier Peter Malinauskas during LIV Adelaide at The Grange Golf Club last weekend. Picture: Asanka Ratnayake/Getty Images

We may love what’s left of Australian rules football but we are divided by our love of one team over another.

We may think it’s jolly for people to play soccer in he parklands but we are divided as to whether their pitch should be fenced off.

We may like sporting clubs trampling the parklands but disagree as it whether there should be allowed to build lavish function centres there.

We may think that a super duper vroom vroom car race is lovely but disagree as to whether it should close off half the city.

The best thing Victoria ever did was cancel the stupid Commonwealth Games but you may disagree.

Our State Government has merrily created a divide between sports and art. Big confected sporting events have taxpayers money thrown at them while the arts industry is on its knees.

Actually, it’s always on its knees begging, but know it’s sucker punched.

The Gather Round is very nice but why do our taxes have to pay the AFL up to $20m for the privilege of having it?

LIV Golf is Saudi golf from the Saudi Gulf.

We pay an undisclosed fortune to have it.

At the $1700 a plate VIP dinner for LIV, Greg Norman backslapped Premier Peter Malinauskas and everyone pretended not to notice the shark in the water – legitimising and subsidising an oppressive regime.

Indeed, Greg Norman is on record when asked about the involvement of Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman in the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, “We’ve all made mistakes”.

Ironically, the super duper vroom vroom car race is an art event.

More people attend for the concerts than the cars.

Last year it was a Robbie Williams concert with a few cars hooning around as a bonus.

Art wins.

Vastly more Australians attend live performance than all sporting codes put together. Sport is a distraction from life and art is life.

Adelaide’s culture is overrated anyway

Demonstrators at the Save the Cranker rally in Adelaide last Sunday. Picture: Matt Loxton

Look, let’s get rid of all heritage buildings.

Developers know best.

We need more huge, ugly, black glass skyscrapers.

We need more empty office space, luxury hotels and dog box accommodation for foreign students.

How dare politicians and emotionally-driven advocacy groups oppose development.

This will deter development and developers will go to Brisbane and build their horrible buildings there.

Occasionally and very generously, developers may leave the facade of some old building and we should be grateful for that.

Heritage is so old-fashioned and useless.

Making money for developers is what’s really important for SA.

And developers always win so let’s just get out of their way.