Arman Abrahimzadeh: Domestic violence is tearing families apart but is kept a silent issue in too many homes

DAD would beat my mum senseless, as if she were the enemy or a crash test dummy. Just another day, another argument, another beating. A side of Mother’s Day we need to talk about.

Arman Abrahimzadeh holds a photograph of his mother, domestic violence victim Zahra Abrahimzadeh.

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ONE minute my mum and dad are having an argument. Next minute I see mum getting pulled by her hair while abusive and demeaning remarks are shouted at her … by my dad.

She is kicked, slapped and punched. Mum covered her face with her arms and tried to protect herself but they are no match against his punches.

She is finally picked up and thrown at a window. I see blood on the broken glass, all around the window, on the carpet and the furniture.

I hear my 2-year-old sister screaming and crying as she is witnessing this act. I’m having trouble containing her in my arms as she tries to run towards the commotion.

Once my dad is out of breath, he stops and goes to another room while my mum is left to pick her bruised and battered self up, clean the mess caused by my dad’s anger and juvenile behaviour.

The following day hanging out with friends at school, we are all talking about our weekends. “How was your weekend?” they ask me. “It was all right, nothing out of the ordinary.” I respond.

And that’s exactly what it was, just another day, another argument, another beating.

I witnessed two people that I loved and respected get in a fight. But the reality was that I watched my dad beat my mum senselessly, as if she were the enemy or a crash test dummy.

But remember mum’s the word and I couldn’t tell anyone about this.

Even though it took place quite frequently, it wasn’t something that was discussed or mentioned, be it inside or outside the family home. Unless it was used in a threatening manner by my dad against my mum. “Did you forget about the beating you copped last time you opened your mouth?”

Unfortunately such incidents and threats are not uncommon. Domestic and family violence is kept a silent issue in too many homes.

It tears families apart, families just like mine and it destroys lives, just like my mum’s life was taken by my dad.

Skin colour, culture, religion, sexuality and postcode are factors don’t matter when it comes to domestic violence. This issue does not discriminate.

I see and refer to domestic violence as a social disease. This disease exists in many Australian homes without the occupants knowing or acknowledging its existence. It flies under the radar and goes unnoticed, until it is too late.

This Mother’s Day, spare a thought for the mothers who have fought battles in their own family homes, the very place where they thought they would be safe.

- If you or someone you love needs to talk about domestic violence, phone 1800 RESPECT (National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service).

- Arman Abrahimzadeh, whose mother Zahra Abrahimzadeh was murdered by her husband Ziaolleh, established the Zahra Foundation Australia to support women and their children to live a life free of violence and attain economic independence. The work in establishing the Foundation is being administered by Central Domestic Violence Service.