Advocate against family violence Arman Abrahimzadeh is driven by desire for change

HOW do you cope with the murder of your mother by your crazed father? Try to stop it from happening to someone else.

Arman Abrahimzadeh talks with Lauren Novak at The Loose Caboose cafe Hindmarsh. Picture: Bianca De Marchi

THE murder of his mother by his father prompted Arman Abrahimzadeh to set up the Zahra Foundation to help families escape violence. Lauren Novak talks to him about his quest.

It would have been your mother’s 50th birthday recently. What did you do to remember her this year?

I went through some of the old articles, some of the old photos … and sort of took time to reflect on what’s happened in the past few years.

She’s the inspiration for the Zahra Foundation Australia. Tell us about the foundation that you and your sisters have established.

The launch was the fifth of September. It’s going great. We’ve got a great team around us … and its slowly growing. We’re waiting on a few grants to come back. We ran a pilot financial literacy program prior to the launch. What we’re looking at eventually is running accredited programs so that, at the end of the day, participants walk away with some sort of certificate or recognised qualification.

What’s the next move for the foundation?

The next big thing for us is Impact 100 (grant worth $100,000). It’s due to be announced in May. There are four finalists and we’re one of them. We’ve got to put a presentation together on our goals for that money. We want to put that into our programs. We’re hoping to invest in a car and some IT infrastructure, so the trainer can take the equipment, go out to the domestic violence services and run the (financial literacy) program.

Shane Farley helped train Anita, Arman and Atena Abrahimzadeh to participate in last year’s City-Bay fun run.

You were named Young South Australian of the Year for 2016 but you’re doing something a little different with the title. Tell us about that.

Well, I was thinking about the people around us who helped us out. There are many agencies out there who do great work. I thought: “I want to give it (the award) back to the sector”. They’re the ones who help out families, who put up with the loopholes that there are in the system. I wanted to thank them. So I thought, I’m going to choose 12 organisations … and every month I’ll go to this organisation and present them with the trophy and they can have it for the month. That’s one way I can thank them and tell them that what they’re doing is making a difference.

You do have a bit of a profile now, since becoming an advocate against family violence. You made a little foray into politics in 2014, running to be on the Charles Sturt Council. Will you try again? Or perhaps set your sights a bit higher in future?

I’ll see what comes my way, that’s all I can say. I thought there’s no point just talking about it (council) ... so I put my hand up and had a crack at it. I don’t regret it one bit.

Have you been approached to run for state politics?

I haven’t had a direct conversation. Sure, there have been things that have been thrown around.

Atena, Arman and Anita Abrahimzadeh with a photograph of their late mother Zahra.

So no immediate plans, but you wouldn’t rule it out?

Yeah.

If you were able to influence Government decisions, what would be the most helpful thing it could do for victims of family violence now?

That’s a good question. Well, I’m a big supporter of the White Ribbon campaign. They’re all about prevention.

And focusing on men.

Yes. I’ve done my reading and I know the stats and its 90 per cent (male perpetrators of family violence). So if I was to see a change, I would have to say that some sort of program around men, perpetrator programs, and programs that are in schools and sports clubs … because that’s where it starts. Why don’t we try to stop it from happening in the first place?

There were a lot of recommendations that came out of the coronial inquest into your mother’s death. Do you feel they have been acted on properly? Or is there something you’re still waiting for?

I think, not everything, but the majority of those things were taken on board. When it comes to Budget time, to policy development, changing laws, there are loopholes that we need to close … but what about the social responsibility of everyday people?

Yes, the Government shouldn’t have to tell you not to beat your wife.

Indeed. It just comes down to common sense and respect. The idea of taking someone’s life is a very extreme act ... not something you do to someone you’re supposed to love and care for. Stop that from happening in the first place and — you’re not going to stop every case — you’re going to make a difference.

Unfortunately there have been more deaths since your mother’s case. So how do you and your sisters feel when you turn on the news and hear of another family violence tragedy?

I actually go back to the day after (Zahra’s death) when we’re driving home, me and my older sister (Atena), from the police station. I hadn’t really digested it, it was still pretty fresh and raw. I thought: “I’ve been affected so much but people are still going to work, things are still happening”. My world was turned upside down but everyone else still carried on as they did.

You and your sisters are such role models for others who have experienced family violence. Do you feel you’ve become a bit of a magnet for people who just want someone to listen to their story? And what’s that like?

Ah, what is that like? It’s difficult. Sometimes I feel like a bit of a social worker. I don’t complain about that one bit, if anything I encourage these sorts of conversations. But, if I’m being honest, I have my days where I’m just drained. I am motivated, I am driven because I’ve seen some change happen. That’s what keeps me going, but every now and again I either ... get told one too many stories or something will happen which will just take that energy and that motivation out of me.

Do you find that sometimes makes you question whether we’re actually making change?

The level of awareness has definitely increased. We’ve made some significant changes to the way our system deals with these things. If we really want to tackle the issue I think we really have to look at men more, involve them more, look at programs around men and their behaviour. And not to rely so much on Government, or the cops or the courts ... but to really think about what we do as a society.