From fond memories as a kid to divorce, here’s the wackiest South Australian courthouse Google reviews

From broken ice cream machines, childhood memories to the scenery – these are the best and the strangest reviews of Adelaide‘s courthouses.

A visit to the local courthouse is not an enjoyable outing for most people.

However, some jokesters have highlighted their experiences – either to ensure others don’t meet the same fate or avoid the place completely – by submitting Google reviews.

Google allows any member of the public to leave a review of a business or service and in multiple South Australian courthouse sections, some have proved a little rowdy.

Join The Messenger as we take a lighthearted look at some of the funniest – and most bizarre – responses from those who have dropped by Adelaide’s courthouses.

Adelaide Magistrate Court

Adelaide Magistrates Court. Pic Chris Crerar.

“Worst nightclub in Adelaide because it doesn’t open at night & they don’t sell alcohol there. The DJ there sucks because he doesn’t play music he just hands out fines & jail sentences. Don’t party there, trust me,” reviewer Mateo Ignacio wrote.

Sorry about this misunderstanding Mateo, to avoid this happening again, you can find which nightclub works for you here.

“Would not recommend. I entered that building smiling and full of optimism. I left that same building a broken man. I felt like a prisoner. And then they sent me to prison. Avoid this place at all costs,” said one reviewer.

A lot to unpack here. We can’t understand why anyone would ever turn up to a courthouse with optimism.

“Went there saw a mate get sentenced 5 years so overall pretty bad experience won’t recommend, #free my homie,” said Matt Carr.

We can only imagine how hard it is to have a homie incarcerated, Matt. At least it was only a pretty bad experience, not a horrible or emotionally traumatic one.

What is an emotionally traumatic experience, however, is mistaking the courthouse for a tennis court. Something many wish Novak Djokovic had done.

Filip Shemp submitted his disappointment via google.

“Thought it was tennis courts. 2 stars,” he said.

Supreme Court

Adelaide Supreme Court building on Gouger Street.

A step-up in the court systems means a step up in the Google reviews.

However, if you ever visit the Supreme Court, chances are things aren’t looking great for the parties involved and we sincerely hope these reviews are as close to the courthouse as you will get.

But for reviewer Judd Werch, it is probably the place for him after he left this rather twisted review.

“Wake up in the morning I got murder on my mind. Got sent to jail for life, I’m gonna drink my bath water. I like this place. 3 stars,” he wrote.

Still, three stars isn’t too bad.

For father Cody R, he has seemingly used the review section as his personal diary.

“Beautiful place, lovely scenery, staff were so nice to me after she took custody of the kids from me and also got a restraining order on me so now I can’t see the kids for a further 7 years,” he wrote.

“If you’re reading this, I still love you and I really miss the kids, please unblock my number and let me come see and talk to the kids.”

Same goes for reviewers ‘Ryle’ and ‘Tape the smoke god’.

“I love this place, I lost custody for my children here,” Ryle submitted.

“I like this place, I got divorced here,” Tape the smoke god wrote.

Hope life is treating you both well.

For reviewer ‘Squad 9000’, we may need to follow-up if this review is #legit or not.

“Got told I would be in prison for life. I thought so to, until I escaped!”

Sir Samuel Way Building

Sir Samuel Way Building on Victoria Square, Adelaide, SA.

Despite nearly burning down in 1948, the Sir Samuel Way Building came back swinging and so did its Google reviews.

Despite its current use as the home of District and Supreme criminal courts, for reviewer Lynn Matthews, the building is a fond memory of her childhood.

“Sir Samuel Way Building used to be a big shop like Myers or David Jones. It was called Moore’s. I used to go with my mum when I was very little. The glass dome on the top of the building always made me inquisitive. It has beautiful staircases inside. It has been used as law courts for well over 35 years now,” she said.

Thanks for the history lesson Lynn but not all those who enter the building are fond of its styling.

“Not enough marble for a high court,” EvelineZz569 submitted.

Wow. Sorry it’s not boujee enough for you EvelineZz569.

Christies Beach Magistrates Court

This review just confused us beyond anything.

“I was there yesterday and the ice cream machine there didn’t work like always, therefore the one star rating,” Klerta Marta wrote.

McDonalds is over the road but all in the times we have covered court cases down south, we have never been offered an ice cream. We feel ripped off.