‘I went to an intimacy retreat – here's what I didn't expect'

They're anything but Stepford Wives

Tucked away in a small suburb in the Southern Highlands of New South Wales is a tight-knit and intimate group of “boxed in, stitched up and locked in women” living their own Groundhog Day. Now from behind their “vanilla picket fences” they’re finally speaking out with the launch of their very own sexual wellness retreat.  

Passing through the gates and up the grand driveway of a private estate in Bowral, I pull up at one of the most luxurious properties I’ve ever seen. With gorgeous landscaped gardens, the sun bounces off the petals and through the glistening window panes of my host’s house. I’m only about an hour and a half southwest of Sydney, but inside my head, I’ve slipped down the rabbit hole (albeit it’s adorned with expensive art instead of dirt) and I’m a million miles away from my everyday reality.  

Which is exactly the kind of effect the women of Wildflower Femme are after, because if there’s anyone who wants to break free of their ordinary lives, it’s them.

“We live in the Southern Highlands, [so] we’ve got this little community and it's quite conservative, and you feel like you have to be so vanilla and so stitched up about the way that you are,” co-founder Georgia Ashdown tells Body+Soul. “We’re all boxed in and it’s like Groundhog Day. You just get on with it and you just keep it all locked in and I think people are really suffering.”

The truth is , the women of Bowral are undergoing a sexual awakening and they’re not holding back on who knows about it.

“Some of us are single, some of us are happily married, some of us are married for the second time, some of us have never been married,” explains the 44-year-old, who’s just gone through a divorce. “I was like, ‘God, I can’t date here, I can’t let people know my feelings on that, and I’m going to get judged because I’ve got children if I go out and have a new relationship’.

“There's all different scenarios and everyone has a story and everyone has something that they're dealing with. Whether it's menopause or perimenopause or the fact that they just don't want to have sex after childbirth or have no libido at all or they’re single and celibate because they’re getting over a heartbreak, or some people are just craving sex because they're not having it at all and their partner's got no drive. We've all got these stories that we don't discuss with each other.” 

Except for a small group of women who’ve been doing a lot of talking behind closed doors. 

The women of Wildflower Femme. Image: Wildflower Femme

Breaking out of the box

“Luckily I’ve got this little community of friends and we all do Pilates together,” Ashdown says. “We’re all good friends and we’re all quite open with each other and we talk about our relationships, and it’s kind of an open at Pilates because it’s a small, intimate group.” 

It was there, during class one day, that Ashdown and her girlfriends – Pip Reed, Susie Tonkin and Katie Dean – came up with the idea of a sexual wellness retreat. 

“We were like, ‘How can we create an experience for women that allows them to have a bit of an open dialogue about their feelings on the subject?’,” she says. “It was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek idea that actually we realised was an issue, so we were like, ‘How can we create something that will inspire women?’.”

And so Wildflower Escapes was born: A chance for women to “revitalise their femininity during a one-day workshop in the stunning Southern Highlands”, featuring expert-led sessions on optimising sexual, mental, and nutritional health with an integration of fashion, beauty and relationship coaching.

The website promised a “journey of sexual empowerment” to awaken your inner strength, embrace your true essence, reconnect with yourself, and inspire confidence. 

“This is not your average women’s retreat,” it read. So I turned off the engine and walked inside. 

The day began with a sound healing by certified reiki and sound healing facilitator Nadya Hutagalung. Image: Wildflower Femme

Empowering sexuality 

Being greeted with a bellini and the most stunning interiors I’ve ever seen, I entered the workshop ready for my transformative experience which began with a sound healing to help relax and calm the body, “and give your nervous system a little massage,” says to Ashdown. 

After being lulled into a deep state of rest by certified reiki and sound healing facilitator Nadya Hutagalung, we moved to the sunken lounge for the first keynote speaker.

“We loved the idea of having a relationship and sex counsellor to open people up, because obviously we were from all walks of life in there, and to bring us together and give us all that common link and common ground between us, but also to open our eyes to how sex can affect everyone in different ways,” the co-founder explains. 

While Jacqueline Hellyer, a sexologist, relationship therapist and founder of LoveLife Clinic, spoke about libido as a life force energy, reclaiming our uterus power, the pleasure purpose of the clitoris, reconnecting with lovers in bed, the importance of foreplay, menopause as a “superpower”, and sex ageing like a fine wine, I felt tensions shift and walls begin to come down as the group of 20 or so women around me settled into deep couches and conversations. 

Sexologist and relationship therapist Jacqueline Hellyer says libido means life force energy. Image: Wildflower Femme

It was the perfect entrée to our day of connection, before Georgia Grace, a certified sex coach, took the floor and guided us through normalising conversations about intimacy, sex and relationships. Through a series of immersive exercises that had us talking to strangers about our most private thoughts and tightly hugging people we’d never met before, we drew closer in our intimate coven as experiences were shared and participants opened themselves up. I felt a new level of appreciation for the many depths of a woman’s life course, and a greater understanding of the battles many are facing alone. 

“I thought she was great in teaching us about the female anatomy as well, and I thought she was fantastic in her honesty and giving advice which would have been quite empowering for those women,” Ashdown says. 

While champagne and oysters flowed over a lunch prepared by a local chef using local in-season produce, new friendships grew among guests as the day moved to a panel, featuring co-founder and resident nutritionist Pip Reed. Settling ourselves on a deck bathed in afternoon sunshine, we explored the contemporary issues in intimacy and sexuality, and how to boost our confidence both in and outside the bedroom. 

Certified sex coach Georgia Grace got everyone on their feet to connect. Image: Wildflower Femme

As the sun finally began to dip over the Southern Highlands, the group trickled down to the bottom of the garden for our final “full sensory experience” – candle-making with Elise Pioch from Maison Balzac. It was a touch that Ashdown, a former fashion stylist, was so eager to include. 

“We just loved the idea of bringing that kind of element in, because women still love beauty and fashion and that can empower them too,” she says, explaining that the exercise was all about “scent and sensuality”. 

“It put the focus into something beautiful, sensual and related on another level.” 

It's a taster of what’s to come, too.

The panel gave guests a chance to ask questions of the experts. Image: Wildflower Femme

A whole new world of self-help

After the success of their first “high-end bespoke retreat”, the women behind Wildflower Femme are now planning for a full weekend workshop in Brisbane at Luminare, a luxury wellness-lifestyle residence in Newstead, in May 2025. 

Until then, they’ll be working on the cocktail for a brand new holistic supplement, SexCells, which is designed to improve your sex drive and vitality by addressing gut health, hormones and adrenals in one formula, while also being a mouth lubricant and breath freshener. 

“Our ingredients are confidential at this stage as we finish the research and testing phase,” Reed tells Body+Soul. “As a holistic nutritionist, and a woman, I see firsthand the implications a low sex drive can have on mental health and relationships, and I am well aware of the internal issues, such as gut health, hormone imbalances and stress, that may be preventing women from living their best (sex) lives. 

“This product felt like a great starting point to increase the conversation around sex while addressing any issues from the inside out.”

A gorgeous candle making class closed out the day. Image: Wildflower Femme

Settling into bed that night, after a day of conversation and connection, I can’t help but think these four women are onto something. 

“I guess we’re a lot more conservative [in our community] and we’re just trying to navigate it in a welcoming way that women, who are actually living quite conservative, miserable lives...that we can maybe help people who are a bit frightened to be honest. 

“And we’re very brave to do that in our vanilla, little beigey [lives] from behind our picket fences. But I think we’re ahead of the curve. And I’m sure people are laughing at us in our community and are like, ‘What are they doing?’. But I think in a few years time there's going to be more of this talk. It’s already happening now.

"We’re opening up to this whole new world of self-help. And I think this is going to be such a huge part of the wellness phenomenon.”

Keep up to date with Wildflower Femme at wildflowerfemme.com.

Originally published as ‘I went to an intimacy retreat – here's what I didn't expect'