Why more women aged over 40 are having babies

After 10 miscarriages and an unsuccessful quest for ‘Mr Right’, Lisa Lemon had her son at 45 – one of a growing number of women bucking baby trends.

In less than a month, Kirsty Aitken will celebrate her 50th birthday – and also prepare to pack her daughter’s school bag for the first time.

Ms Aitken, who gave birth to four-year-old Miranda in 2018, is one of a growing number of women becoming mothers after 40.

While some strangers have passed judgment on her decision to enter motherhood at an older age, she sees it as one of her greatest assets.

“I’d gone out and had my independence, done all my partying and done all my travelling and things like that,” she said.

“So coming into my 40s, you just sort of want to hang out at home and not go out quite as much – which is perfect.

“I already had a mortgage that was two-thirds paid off, a well-established career where I could take as much maternity leave as I wanted and then re-establish myself without too much stress.”

After celebrating her 40th birthday, Ms Aitken decided to give online dating a go – and quickly hit it off with Miranda’s father.

The couple soon began trying for a baby, but decided to seek medical help after two years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive naturally.

After another two year-journey through the IVF process, Ms Aitken became pregnant just shy of her 44th birthday.

Kirsty Aitken is one of a growing number of women having children later in life. She was 44 when she became pregnant with her daughter Miranda. Picture: Supplied

Ms Aitken said she remained fit and healthy through her pregnancy. Picture: Supplied

In the past three decades, the number of babies born to mums aged 40-44 in SA has tripled, from 223 in 1990 to 682 in 2020.

In 2019, 74 women were aged 45-50 or older when they gave birth, compared to 44 women in 2010, 34 in 2000 and just six in 1990, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

Ms Aitken said it was important take steps to understand your fertility in your 30s if considering children later in life – but also, she joked, to prepare your body for the aches and pains of play groups.

“I did yoga up until I was 35 weeks pregnant, I’ve always been super fit and healthy,” she said.

“All the stats were against me when it came to having a natural labour — there was a really low chance of women over 40 having a natural birth because they’re not fit, but I was able to give birth naturally to a perfect little girl.

“But when you go to play groups you’ve got to sit on the floor … when you’re over 40 or 45 and asked to sit on the floor for half an hour, that’s always going to be rough on the knees and hips.”

Dr Frank Quinn from IVF Australia said the number of women freezing their eggs in their 20s and 30s had drastically increased, with women visiting him every week to discuss the option.

“The success of it is a lot better than what it was 10 years ago,” he said.

“But again, the take-home message is if you’re going to do egg freezing, you’ve got to do it before you’re 35 because the eggs are better quality and you get more of them.”

After suffering a number of miscarriages with previous partners, 45-year-old Lisa Lemon found herself in her mid-30s without “Mr Right” – and feeling like her biological clock was ticking.

“I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to give up the idea of the whole nuclear family idea of such, but I knew there were lots of conversations about how it gets harder as you get older when it comes to fertility,” she said.

“So I inquired about doing IVF as a single woman and went through that process.”

Ms Lemon underwent three full IVF cycles with a sperm donor and a transfer of an embryo, but all were unsuccessful.

By the time Ms Lemon reached 38, she hit pause on her IVF cycles due to unrelated health issues and decided to return to the regular dating scene.

“I had put things on hold while trying to have a baby, so I went back to a sort of ‘normal dating life’ and thought: ‘I guess I’ll try and do things the old fashioned way’,” she said.

Just before Ms Lemon’s 44th birthday, and after a short romantic fling, she received some surprising news.

“I wasn’t necessarily trying, but I accidentally fell pregnant … it was an absolute shock to me because I’d had 10 miscarriages before that, so I didn’t think it was going to happen to me.”

Ms Aitken hopes to help break the stigma around being an older mum. Picture: Supplied

Lisa Lemon, 45, spent years attempting to have a baby through IVF. She was 44 when a short fling led to her falling pregnant with son Lawson. Picture: Supplied

While over the moon, Ms Lemon said being pregnant as an older woman didn’t come without its physical — and emotional — toll.

“When I did fall pregnant with him, I was filled with anxiety the whole time. With my history of miscarriages and with my age, it was constant stress that something would go wrong,” she said.

“There was a lot of holding my breath.”

In September 2022, Ms Lemon gave birth to her beautiful, “cheeky lad” Lawson.

She now hopes to break the stigma around miscarriage and encourage others to be open about their situation — and not pass judgment on others’ fertility journeys.

“There have been a few negative experiences from strangers where you’ll be down at the shop and somebody asks if they’re your child because of your age, thinking that maybe you could be a grandparent or something like that,” Ms Lemon said.

“There’s also the single-mum situation, where people question whether you’re going to end up living on Centrelink or something like that.

“But there’s a reason why I’m 45 and doing it now.”

Director of Medical Affairs at Virtus Health Dr David Molloy said there was “no doubt” women were delaying pregnancy across the country, with the average age of women visiting his practice for fertility assistance was 36 and above.

“It used to be 33 but now it’s moved upwards,” he said.

“The whole affordability issue has been pushing childbirth or pregnancy back (in terms of age) because people want to be settled, they want to own a home.

“There’s also the matter of partnering with someone and deciding to have children with them, which is also happening later.”

Australian media personality Sonia Kruger fell pregnant with her daughter Maggie at the age of 49.

The oldest woman in Australia to become a mother was reportedly 62 years old, and hailed from the state of Tasmania.

But the likelihood of falling pregnant naturally significantly diminishes to just 5 per cent by the time a woman is 40.

Ms Lemon said any women considering beginning their pregnancy journey later in life should speak to their GP and get a good baseline understanding of their fertility and health — but not be weighed down by the opinions of others.

“For any older women who want to become mums, make sure you’re on top of your health so your body is in the best position for mum and bubs – but just follow your dreams and forget what other people think of the situation,” she said.

“There is the potential that things might not work as well as when you’re younger, but you know in your heart when it’s the right time for you. It’s your life and your child … other people’s opinions don’t mean much to your life.”