I’m not inviting my sister to my wedding but my family thinks I’m petty

"Our parents are saying I'm breaking up the family if she doesn't come. Isn't it supposed to be my choice?"

A woman has taken to Reddit after choosing not to invite her sister to her upcoming wedding.

Whilst she has her reasons, her family members don’t agree, saying she’s breaking up the family.

She’s doing her best to stand her ground, but is it too much to uninvite a close family member completely?

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“I don’t want to ruin family relationships”

“My sister and I have never had a great relationship. She has a habit of making everything about her, and over the years, she’s caused a lot of hurt that I’ve just let slide for the sake of family peace,” the poster said.

“The final straw was about a year ago when I got engaged. Instead of being happy for me, she made several rude comments about my fiancé, calling him ‘boring’ and ‘not good enough’ for me. She even joked at a family dinner that he’d probably bail before the wedding. I brushed it off at the time, but it really stung, and my fiancé was visibly upset.

“Since then, I’ve distanced myself from her. When we started planning the wedding, I realised I didn’t want that negativity on what’s supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life.”

But, the news didn’t go down well.

“My parents are furious and say I’m tearing the family apart, but I feel like I’m just setting boundaries for my own happiness,” she said.

“Now, some family members are saying I’m being immature and should ‘be the bigger person’ by inviting her, while others say they understand why I’m not. 

“I’m second-guessing myself because I don’t want to ruin family relationships, but I also feel like my wedding day should be a positive and supportive environment.”

In the comments, the poster also clarified a few more specific reasons she doesn’t get along with her sister.

“She’s not just ‘annoying’ or ‘a little difficult’. For example, she made a scene at my college graduation because my parents were giving me attention, called me crying on my birthday one year because her car broke down and no one was helping her, only to find out later she was at a party and completely fine,” she said.

“It’s this constant pattern of manipulation and drama that makes me hesitant to have her there. My fiancé also supports this decision because he doesn’t want to feel disrespected on our wedding day, which I think is fair.”

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“It’s your wedding”

Commenters on the post were quick to support the woman, saying that at the end of the day, it’s her wedding, and what she says goes.

“Ask your parents why she can't be the bigger person. If anyone is "tearing the family apart" it is your sister,” one commenter said. 

“Shame on your parents, sister, and anyone not being supportive of you and your fiance.”

“i don't think you want the negativity that comes with her, since she doesn't say nice things about you and your fiancé, it's your wedding and you deserve to be happy all through with positive people around you,” said another.

“It's your wedding!!! Your sister’s behavior was hurtful, and you deserve a positive, supportive day. Family may not understand, but your happiness comes first,” a third agreed.

Some even suggested more extreme ways of dealing with the issue.

“Don’t invite the people who are not on your side. They can go spend time with her on that day,” said one commenter.

“Keep your own peace. Let Mom and Dad know their invite can be rescinded as well,” another agreed.

“A bridge will be burnt”

Others, however, said she may want to think her decision over a little more.

“You might actually wanna step back and look at this,” one commenter said.

“I think your parents are somewhat right, this is going to be a defining moment in your family. I dunno if it's just you and her or there are more siblings, but doesn't really matter, not inviting a sibling to your frickin wedding pretty much changes the entire relationship.”

“You are making a life decision. It is outside the wedding but it is about your future kids, your sister’s kids, taking care of your elder parents, their funeral. whatever you decide think twice, don’t think with your feelings but rationally. a bridge will be burnt,” another agreed.

Originally published as I’m not inviting my sister to my wedding but my family thinks I’m petty