‘I befriended the man who killed my own mother’

Mariah Lucas, 30, not only met the man who killed her mum, but she befriended him. This is the moment she says shocked her family most.

I shook with nerves.

“Is he a changed man? Will he tell me what really happened that night? Will I be safe?”, I wondered.

Aged 24, I was about to meet the man who’d murdered my mum Sharlene, 26 years ago, in April 1993.

She’d been just 22 when she lost her life.

Taking one final deep breath, I opened the door.

I didn’t have any memories of my mum, who died when I was just 15 months old.

As a kid, my dad, Donald, never mentioned her.

I didn’t even learn she’d died until dad went to prison and I moved in with my aunt – Dad’s sister – and uncle when I was seven.

“Your mum was my best friend”, my aunty said fondly. “She loved singing and dancing and dressing you up in frilly dresses.”

Mariah Lucas’ beautiful mum, Sharlene. Picture: Supplied

I loved hearing about her, and looking at Mum’s face in a picture for the first time my heart hurt.

She was beautiful.

It wasn’t until I was 12 that my aunt told me Mum had been murdered by a man named Jason Clark at an ATM.

Overwhelmed, I didn’t go looking for details.

“He’s in prison”, I thought. “That’s all I need to know.”

But I never stopped missing Mum – especially when I became a mother myself.

Every day, I’d talk to Mum about my beautiful kids, Chase, Dylan and Harper.

Thinking about Mum meant the man who murdered her was never far from my mind.

Then, at 23, I had my wisdom teeth removed. An infection turned septic and, rushed to hospital, I was put into a coma.

After having her wisdom teeth removed at 23, Mariah Lucas developed an infection and was put into a coma. Picture: Supplied

My heart stopped, and I saw Mum, standing there in the breeze, wearing in a white dress.

My hands reached out to her, but she smiled and shook her head. Coming to, I felt peace.

I knew this vision was a message from her that I should let go of my pain, and help others overcome theirs.

“I need to reach out to Jason...”, I thought.

I needed to tell him I had a wonderful life, that I didn’t hate him or wish him harm.

Many of my relatives were furious at my plan. Still, it was something that I had to do.

It took me a month to write the letter.

Over five pages, I told Jason about my childhood, and my wonderful children.

“I forgive you, and I want you to forgive yourself”, I wrote.

A month later, I received a letter in reply.

It was from a man called Javier Stauring, the executive director of an organisation called Healing Dialogue and Action.

He explained although Jason had received my letter, he wasn’t allowed to reply.

He added that, after 23 years, Jason was now up for parole, and asked if I wanted to set up a meeting with him once he was released from prison.

That is how, just two months later, in December 2016, I walked trembling into a room in a halfway house and saw Jason.

Jason Clark, Mariah Lucas and Javier Stauring met in 2016. Picture: Picture: Supplied

He was sitting in a chair shaking and breathing heavily, tears in his eyes.

All my nerves vanished. Without even thinking I walked over to him, and we hugged.

The very first words out of my mouth were, “Why did you do it?”

To this day, I still hadn’t had the strength to find out exactly what had happened to my mum.

Jason explained what occurred that night.

Weeping, he explained that he’d suffered an incredibly difficult childhood and how the horror had continued into his adulthood.

He’d turned to meth and he’d been on drugs when he saw mum at that ATM.

She’d owed him $55 AUD for drugs of her own.

They fought and in the heat of it all he stabbed her.

This was the first I’d heard of Mum’s drug use, but it was still a strange relief to know what had happened.

I didn’t feel any anger towards Jason, just an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

It sounds bizarre, but the intensity of that three-hour meeting forged such a bond that we went for dinner afterwards.

A week later, I invited Jason to have dinner with me, and the children, then aged six, four and two.

To prepare, I told the kids in simple terms what Jason had done.

‘Some people go through bad things, and sometimes make bad choices,’ I explained.

“You’ll be meeting Mum’s grandkids”, I said to Jason beforehand. “She never had that chance. This is a privilege you have to earn.”

Mariah invited Jason (left) to have a meal with her family and has since befriended him. Picture: Supplied

Jason understood, sincerely apologising to them, accepting responsibility for the fact their grandma wasn’t still there.

In the five years since then, our friendship has grown. I’m proud to call Jason one of my best friends.

We’ve worked together with organisations like Healing Dialogue and Action, speaking about prison reform and the power of forgiveness.

I treasure my friendship with Jason. Through him I’ve learnt the incredible healing power of forgiveness.

I Became: The Stories Within My Scars – Finding A Voice And Sharing With The World What It Takes To Overcome by Mariah Lucas is available on Amazon.

Originally published as ‘I befriended the man who killed my own mother’