‘Your kid's tantrum is not my problem’

“They looked at me for backup, and I said it’s his choice.”

Teaching your child the harsh realities of life can be a pretty tough pill for them to swallow.

You don’t get a participation sticker for coming to work, there isn’t always a prize for trying your hardest, and unfortunately, your parents eventually stop paying your bills.

One mum definitely didn’t think it was her responsibility to teach this lesson to somebody else’s child.

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In the wrong?

The mum, who goes by ButterscotchNaive801, took to the ever-entertaining ‘Am I The A**hole?’ (AITA) Reddit thread to share a recent experience she had and whether she was in the wrong. 

“I have 2 sons: Robbie (16) and Cameron (8). Robbie had an awards banquet for his team, the entire family went. Every year they have a raffle with a bunch of different prizes. I bought both of my sons a roll of tickets each and told them to put in for whatever. Cameron had 2 things he really wanted: a LEGO kit and a remote control car. He put basically all his tickets in for those,” she explained.

“There was another boy there, probably a little younger than Cameron, who was running around and saying he was going to win the remote control car.

“Come time for the raffle; Cameron won the LEGO kit [and] a few draws later and he also [won] the remote control car. 

“When the other little boy’s parents explained to their son he didn’t win, he broke down in a huge tantrum where he was screaming and crying. His dad had to carry him out because he was causing a bit of a disturbance,” she added.

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The winner takes it all

The mum went on to describe the judgement she received from others on her table.

“We were sitting with 2 other families at our table, and one told Cameron he should give the car to the little boy. Cameron said no [and] they looked at me for backup and I said it’s his choice [and] changed the subject. 

“Later, a friend of mine said a few others felt Cameron should’ve given the little boy the car as he already won something [and] I said this is just how raffles work, and it’s a good lesson for kids. 

“There are times my sons haven’t won things from raffles or similar events. They learned young it’s all up to luck.

“My husband wonders if we should’ve just encouraged Cameron to give it away. AITA for saying no?”

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Poor behaviour shouldn't be rewarded. Source: iStock

“Not your problem to solve”

The post has been flooded with words of support for the mum and the fact she stuck to her guns.

“A child having a tantrum about something not going their way is not your problem to solve,” one wrote.

“Your kid got lucky; it would make no sense to punish him for it,” they added.

Another warned, “Teaching the other kid that if he throws a tantrum, he will get what he wants, which is a dangerous thing to teach any little kid and arguably even more dangerous to teach a little boy.”

“Your reasoning is sensible, and the other families sitting with you should mind their own business,” stated another.

RELATED: My partner gave me ‘the ick’ after he aggressively tried to discipline my kid

“A child having a tantrum about something not going their way is not your problem to solve!” Source: iStock

Teaching kids to lose

Learning to lose is an enormous lesson we all need to understand- and the sooner, the better.

According to a Better Kids blog written by children’s educator Emily Kaiser, it’s not only about learning to lose but losing graciously.

Emily explained before a game starts, it’s important everyone participating knows someone will win and someone will lose, “It may be tempting to always let your child win. 

“Letting your child win, especially if they hate to lose, is not helping to teach them how to lose.”

She also advised that it’s important to acknowledge it is okay to be upset when you lose and to employ strategies to cope with these feelings, “I can tell my students that I also get upset when I lose, but I take a deep breath and will look forward to the next game.”

Helping your child understand how to handle losses can empower them to bounce back with resilience and a positive attitude. 

Instead of seeing failure as a roadblock, they'll recognise it as a chance to learn, adapt, and improve. 

This mindset shift not only makes it easier for them to deal with setbacks but also teaches them to turn defeat into a stepping stone for growth and success.

Originally published as ‘Your kid's tantrum is not my problem’