We offered our son $25K for his wedding, but he asked for $80K

“To spend that type of money on a single day is outrageous. This will be a lifelong consequence, not to mention his fiancée has debt of her own," the groom's father vented.

Jordana Shell

3 min read

September 11, 2023 - 9:32AM

Photo: iStock

Parenting

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A father has taken to reddit to ask AITA for questioning his son’s request for an $80K contribution towards his wedding.

This would be half of what the son intends to spend on his $160,000 wedding celebration - a figure many are calling celebrity-level extravagant.

The father shares, “we promised that we would pay for half his wedding, but we did not think his wedding would exceed 50K.”

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"I personally think he can save this type of money to put it on a down payment on his future home with his future wife or even put it into savings for their futures. To spend that type of money on a single day is outrageous. He makes 80K and his fiancee is currently in school for dentistry. I’m sure in the future, they would be loaded, but right now I don’t think it is financially smart to spend that much on a wedding."

"Are they getting married at Buckingham Palace?”

With the cost-of-living crisis, many parents, and newly married couples responded to the post, questioning how they are spending this much on a wedding. One commenter wrote,“are they getting married at Buckingham Palace?”

The average cost of a wedding (in Australia) costs $36,000 according to a Moneysmart survey. While in America, where the father lives, the average wedding cost is $30,000 according to The Knot. Which is why most comments were questioning what was happening at this wedding to lead to a $160,000 tally for the wedding.

The father continues, “He also took a big chunk out of his savings to pay for their engagement ring (20K). My wife and I were against him spending that much on an engagement ring because we thought it would be better to save for the wedding. I guess it backfired anyways.”

How much would you spend on your big day? Source: iStock

"Who is he trying to impress here?"

After reading the total wedding budget and money spent on an engagement ring, commenters went into a flurry, trying to understand how in this day and age, couples would want to start their married life with so much debt.

One person commented: “Wow! I’ve never read of a more entitled groom-to-be. So he wants a wedding that costs twice as much as his entire current annual salary. Who is he trying to impress here? I’ve read about homeowners afraid of being house poor, but your son isn’t even bothered about being wedding poor. He seems confident he’ll be able to outsource his funds come what may.”

While another commenter was quick to point out, “There are studies that show the more expensive a wedding is, the more likely the couple is to divorce.”

This turned out to be true, Andrew Francis and Hugo Mialon, two economics professors from Emory University, surveyed more than 3,000 people in the study and found that the more expensive a wedding is, the sooner the couple is likely to divorce. Meanwhile, couples who spent less than $1,000 on their wedding tend to have longer-lasting marriages. It goes without saying that an expensive wedding could cause financial stress early in the marriage, leading to tension in the relationship.

Many, including the father of the groom, were quick to point out that this would be putting the newlyweds into a financial hole they might not be able to get out of.

In the final edit on the post the father writes, “My son is making a financial mistake and I would do anything to inform him of that. This is not a simple mistake and deal with the consequences. This will be a lifelong consequence, not to mention fiancée has debt of her own. It’s not a good decision and it’s something that I will not stand to let happen.”

One comment shares this sentiment, “Let's have some fun with future value! $160k compounded at 5% interest over 38 years (retirement when he is 65 years old) is $973,025! Or he could blow it all in a 6 hour party.”

After the feedback from the internet, the father and mother of the groom decided they would offer $25K.

“He can either take it or leave it. The rest we have saved for him will stay there until further notice. We will no longer be adding to our account for him. We are not taking any funds out of our retirement plans or home," he wrote.