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'The doctor came in and said 'I hate to be the bearer of bad news'

Tim Siegel had left his job as a college tennis coach less than a month before his youngest child was severely injured in a Golf Cart accident. He turned his grief from that moment into a charity that has helped hundreds of families going through similar struggles.

Tim Siegel had spent almost his entire adult life dedicated to the sport of tennis.

After playing College tennis at the University of Arkansas, Tim embarked on a short professional career, mainly playing doubles with teammate Jimmy Arias.

He then embarked on his coaching career, first with the SMU Mustangs in Dallas before moving to the Texas Tech Red Raiders in Lubbock, Texas, in 1992.

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Tim was the head coach of the men’s team for 23 years, when he decided to take a job as a middle school and high school tennis coach in Lubbock to be able to spend more time with his wife and three children.

“I loved coaching, but I loved being with my family more,” Tim told Kidspot.

“I had a 12-year-old daughter, a 10-year-old daughter, and a nine-year-old son, so I made the decision to resign from Texas Tech and coach middle and high school tennis just until my son graduated from high school, then I might get back into college coaching.”

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Luke Siegel was an athletic nine-year-old who loved sport and music before his terrible accident. Picture: Team Luke
Luke Siegel was an athletic nine-year-old who loved sport and music before his terrible accident. Picture: Team Luke

"It's hard to describe the days after the accident"

Tragically, just 20 days after Tim’s decision, his and his family’s lives would be turned upside down when nine-year-old Luke was involved in a serious Golf Cart accident.

On July 28, 2015, Luke was riding in a golf cart with another nine-year-old boy when the cart crashed and rolled.

The cart landed on top of Luke, causing severe head and chest trauma, and the young boy was in cardiac arrest for seven minutes before he was resuscitated.

Tragically, Luke suffered an anoxic brain injury in the accident due to a complete lack of oxygen to his brain during those seven minutes.

Tim recalled the whirlwind days after his only son’s accident as he sat in a car parked outside the University Medical Center in Lubbock, the same hospital his son was rushed to.

“It’s hard to describe the days after the accident,” Tim said. “I remember there were what felt like hundreds of people in the waiting rooms for weeks on end.

“My recollection is that I spent less time in Luke’s room and more time with friends because that helped the time go quicker.

“My wife is a nurse practitioner, and she was with Luke, but she also knew a lot. I could always tell by her reactions and responses about how good or bad news from the doctors might be.

“We knew Luke had suffered a major brain injury, but to what extent we didn’t know, and the doctors also didn’t know.”

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Luke was in cardiac arrest for seven minutes after his accident, and suffered an anoxic brain injury. Picture: Team Luke
Luke was in cardiac arrest for seven minutes after his accident, and suffered an anoxic brain injury. Picture: Team Luke

"He will never use his limbs, use his voice or open his eyes, 

Tim told Kidspot it wasn’t until eight days after Luke’s accident that the family knew there was any brain activity.

“The doctor came into the room and asked if Luke liked music,” Tim said. “I told him that next to sports, music was his favourite passion.

“He began to play the ukulele, and that’s when we saw brain activity on the monitor.”

Luke would spend 44 days at the University Medical Center before being transferred to Cook Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth, Texas, where he spent another four months.

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“I’ll never forget this day as long as I live,” Tim told Kidspot.

“On September 15, 2015, we were in a small room with therapists, nurses and doctors, and the last person to speak to us was the neurologist.

“He said ‘I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but based on Luke’s MRI, he will never use his limbs, use his voice or open his eyes’.

“You can imagine what my wife and I were thinking at that time, but only a month later, Luke made his first sound.

“We came home on January 6, 2016, after five months in the hospital.”

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Tim with his son Luke. Luke tragically passed away from Covid in 2021. Picture: Team Luke
Tim with his son Luke. Luke tragically passed away from Covid in 2021. Picture: Team Luke

"The progress he made was remarkable"

Luke remained non-verbal and “minimally conscious” after his stint in the hospital, but Tim believes his son understood more than anyone realised.

“We’re big New Orleans Saints fans, because I grew up in New Orleans,” Tim said.

“One day I asked Luke ‘move your tongue if you think the Saints are going to beat the Broncos’, and he began to move his tongue.

“At that time, I knew Luke understood, and I knew there was much more he was going to do. Being a coach, I pushed Luke a bit, and it was remarkable the progress he made as far as moving his limbs a little bit and moving his tongue.

“I would even ask Luke to let me hear the sound of his voice, and he would open his mouth and occasionally a sound would come out.

“I knew the therapies we were doing were important, but I really believe I had a big role in seeing that progress because I was with Luke basically 24 hours a day.”

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Luke meeting former New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees. Picture: Team Luke
Luke meeting former New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees. Picture: Team Luke

"We've granted more than half a million dollars to families"

Not content with just seeing his son’s personal progress, Tim decided to dedicate his time to starting a non-profit organisation, called Team Luke, that would help support other children suffering from major brain injuries in the Lubbock area.

“In 2017 a friend of mine said ‘why don’t you consider starting a non-profit,” Tim told Kidspot.

“I didn’t know the first thing about a non-profit, but I did know that I couldn’t coach anymore, so I had this vision to start a non-profit named Team Luke.

“I had a few meetings, I got a board, and I had aspirations and motivations. Then a few months later I got a phone call from a woman named Ronda Johnson who had a non-profit called Hope for Minds, and her non-profit was to help children in Texas with brain injuries.

“She had called me because she’d heard about my non-profit and about my son, so I drove six hours to Austin, Texas, and about an hour into our breakfast we realised we should merge.

“The only prerequisite I had is that I wanted our non-profit to help children all over the country, so in January 2018 we started Team Luke Hope for Minds, and in the last three years we’ve granted more than half a million dollars to families all over the country.”

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Tim's foundation, Team Luke Hope for Minds, has helped hundreds of families across America who have children with brain injuries. Picture: Team Luke
Tim's foundation, Team Luke Hope for Minds, has helped hundreds of families across America who have children with brain injuries. Picture: Team Luke

"I'm just grateful and blessed to be able to help these families"

Team Luke Hope for Minds has a presence in 47 states, and supports hundreds of families around the United States.

“We help through education, with support groups, free counselling, and financial aid,” Tim said.

“Probably the most important two days of the year takes place in Austin, where we have our Making Connections Pediatric Brain Injury Conference. Last year we had 120 families come from all over the country.”

Tim also spends a good chunk of his time supporting other families going through a similar situation to his.

“Just today I spent an hour with a family in the hospital, and their son had an anoxic brain injury on a track, he just collapsed,” Tim said.

“Obviously I’m no doctor, but what I am is someone who has been through it, and that’s what parents want in that situation.

“I’m just grateful and blessed to be able to help families, and more importantly, keep my son’s legacy alive.”

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It is estimated there is a serious brain injury every 19 seconds in the United States. Picture: Team Luke
It is estimated there is a serious brain injury every 19 seconds in the United States. Picture: Team Luke

"I was so devastated about what happened to my son"

Tim sadly lost Luke to Covid in 2021, and the grief from losing his only son also cost him his marriage.

However, Tim believes he’s now in a better place as he’s been able to forgive the family of the other boy involved in that tragic Golf Cart crash some nine years ago.

“I struggled mightily after Luke passed away on August 19, 2021,” Tim said.

“I had a good couple of years of beyond devastation, I was destroyed.

“I have my daughters, and I have four grandchildren, and unfortunately I wasn’t there enough for them emotionally because I was so devastated about what happened to my son.

“Unfortunately it took my marriage as well - there was just so much that we dealt with.

“As of August last year, I finally forgave the family that allowed this to happen. I forgave the hospital. People had always told me you couldn’t heal until you forgave, and I was finally able to do that.

“I’ve turned the corner for the better part of seven months now. I’m still incredibly sad, but I’ll take sadness over anger and bitterness any day.”

To donate to help support the fantastic work Team Luke Hope for Minds achieves, click here.

Originally published as 'The doctor came in and said 'I hate to be the bearer of bad news'

Original URL: https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/the-doctor-came-in-and-said-i-hate-to-be-the-bearer-of-bad-news/news-story/18f262fe842c26dad93b56173f5fc694