Stop using public parents rooms as your own private retreat if you're kid-free

"Three sets of feet and legs could be seen underneath the door: we weren't just in the presence of one person who shouldn't be there, but three," Aussie mum-of-two Shona writes. 

It has been some years since I’ve had to utilise a parents room for my own kids, but a recent visit to one with a breastfeeding friend of mine reminded me of the still very relevant issue – the absolute disregard for them and their designated purpose.

Parents rooms, sometimes known as breastfeeding rooms, sound pretty self-explanatory- they are private spaces for parents to feed and change their babies and children, often situated in shopping centres or busy public areas.

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"They do not belong there"

But because of several factors -stupidity, lack of respect for others, selfishness, entitlement and laziness (just to name a few), they have instead become private spaces for actions and behaviours that simply do not belong there.

A few weekends ago my friend, Em, her eight-month-old baby and I went on a girls' morning out, some coffee, followed by retail therapy. Naturally, as my friend went to take the first sip of her latte, her baby awoke and announced that it was her own beverage time. With that, we quickly scooped up our things and headed toward the shopping centre’s parents room.

But as we entered the facility it was clear we weren’t alone. No, it wasn’t another mum or dad feeding or changing their child, instead, it was the sound of older kids swearing and talking coming from behind the closed door of the toilet cubicle situated inside the room.

Along with the talking, turned whispers and muffled laughter upon hearing us come in, the three sets of feet and legs could be seen underneath the door, indicating that we weren’t just in the presence of one person who shouldn't be there, but three.

Image: Shona Hendley

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 "They came out adjusting their clothing"

After a few minutes, two female teens and one male teen emerged, adjusting their clothes and patting down their disheveled hair.

Given that Em was breastfeeding, I decided it wasn’t the right time to make a scene, so instead, once she had finished, we both offloaded about what we had just witnessed and worse, that it wasn’t a one-off.

Em told me that once she saw a teenage employee of one of the department stores, come in and heat up their lunch, utilising the microwave meant for milk and baby/toddler food warming. What’s worse, she knew exactly where to go and seemed not to have a care in the world, as if she did this all the time.

This reminded me of an experience I once had, when I entered a parents room with my eldest, only a newborn at the time, to find a group of teenagers just hanging out in there as if it was a family lounge room. They had their phones out watching social media clips, laughing and sharing snacks.

As I changed the epic poo explosion on the changing table, I heard them make gagging noises and comments about the smell, which is when I very quickly transitioned from Calm Mum into Hulk Mum and shared my own thoughts.

Because honestly, why is this viewed as acceptable? Where did consideration for others go?

Shona's girls are older now but she still recalls the challenges of the public parents room. Image: supplied

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"Used condoms, needles and alcohol"

Aside from heating up food in the parents room microwave and who knows what in the toilet cubicle, Em also told me that other times she had used this, or other parents rooms, she had found used condoms or opened condom wrappers, needles, alcohol bottles and cans and the remnants of white powder on changing tables.

“It’s like parent rooms are their go-to drug or sex spaces,” she told me.

“All because they know they probably won't get caught, or if they do, it will be by parents like us.”

And she’s right. It is like they are safe spaces, just not for the actual people they are meant for, or for the purpose they were intended which, frankly, makes my blood boil.

Because not only is it disrespectful and inconsiderate, when it is used for drug use, alcohol consumption and sex, well, it is also potentially creating an unsafe, not to mention unhygienic environment for babies and young children who are more suspectable and at-risk of infections than other members of the community.

Plus, we earned the use of this room, we deserve the use of this room and we do not need to share it with members of the public who think it's their own private retreat.

So, come on people, get your sh*t together and unless you're a parent with a kid in tow, or a breastfeeding mum who needs to pump, just stay out.

Originally published as Stop using public parents rooms as your own private retreat if you're kid-free