'So rude': Aussie mum asks guests for cash at four-year-old's birthday party

"The intention is to use people's contributions to go shopping for a gift of her choice," the Sydney mum said but other mums claimed it was a 'ridiculous' idea for a child that age.

A Sydney mum has copped backlash over her plan to ask guests for cash instead of presents for her four-year-old's birthday party. 

Taking to the Sydney Mums Facebook Group, the anonymous woman justified her choice by saying that she could use the money to buy her daughter something she actually wants.

And like many parents, their house doesn't have any more room for more toys (especially ones that'll sit there just collecting dust!).

But group members strongly advised the mum not to go ahead with the idea, saying it's a 'rude' thing to do and 'unnecessary' for such a young child. 

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"Is it okay to mention we prefer cash contributions rather than gifts?"

She wrote: "My four-year-old is turning five soon and we are planning a birthday party for her.

"Is it okay to mention in the invite that we would prefer cash contributions rather than gifts? The intention is to have a compilation and then get her to go shopping for her a gift of her choice.

"We just live in a two-bedroom unit, so we don't really have space for a huge amount of toys."

She concluded by asking the advice of fellow mums about whether they would do this, and if so, how to best word the invite.

The mum wants to ask for cash but doesn't know how to. Image: IStock

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"This is so rude, fancy asking for cash for a child's birthday"

Most mums were taken aback by the suggestion and agreed that requesting money for a four-year-old isn't great party etiquette.

One woman wrote: "I personally think it's a little rude and if you ask for cash then it could make people uncomfortable."

Another remarked: "I've not heard this for a kid's party, only weddings..."

Then this person added, "I don't think many people would be happy reading that invite. It puts them in the awkward position of trying to figure out the 'right' amount to give."

And this woman agreed, saying, "This is awkward, especially if it's a daycare/school friend that you don't know that well. What's acceptable?  Also, I think part of the joy at their age is opening up the gifts and it being a surprise."

"Really rude. Plus, kids love shopping for their friends. If you don't have space for lots of toys then just invite a smaller group of people," read another comment. 

"It's rude unless you specify a low amount they should give," concluded another.

"Fancy asking for cash for a child's birthday," pointed out someone else. "I would find it a bit off-putting."

A middle ground is better, other parents say

Others said that whilst it's not the worst idea in the world, there are some better ways to go about it.

"We were invited to a party that said 'no boxed gifts'. Everyone gave a gift card or cash," one user commented.

Then another contributed, "You could set up a registry or wishing well to make it easier for people to decide how much to spend."

"Definitely just put some specificity around the dollar amount, like $5-$10 or something and say it's going towards buying her a gift," said another.

"We recently had an invite with a link to a group contribution. The parents stated the item their child wanted and purchased the gift prior to the party so it could be unwrapped together at the party. Any additional money was donated to an elected charity. I think it is a great option," said a different woman.

Then this person added: "We set a strictly no plastic rule and it’s worked out great. Any gifts we received were books/puzzles and we kept half of them to open for Christmas. Kids don’t need a pile of trashy plastic gifts but I also don’t think they need cash."

Other people said you could ask for experiences like movie tickets, a pass to a water play session, zoo or indoor playground.

"You could have a 'fiver' party"

But many were totally on board with the concept. "I'm so into cash for presents. They get so much crap they rarely play with, it's better for them to choose one decent present that they will appreciate," one user said. 

While this user said, "I love the 'fiver' idea. Just ask people to pop five bucks in a card."

And another expressed, "We asked for cash instead of a gift for our daughter and have used this money on her swimming/dance classes instead. We were moving and expecting a baby so the 'stuff' would not have been appreciated."

"I really like this idea. It also helps reduce waste with all the packaging and duplicated/unwanted gifts," one user claimed. 

And then finally, someone said: "I don’t see anything wrong with asking for cash instead of gifts. Makes it easier for parents gifting the child!"

Originally published as 'So rude': Aussie mum asks guests for cash at four-year-old's birthday party