I got scolded by a teacher for not inviting 30 kids to a birthday party

"She said she had complaints from other parents about 'the lack of inclusivity' and my daughter was being a bully for only inviting her closest friends," the mum shared.

Organising a child's birthday party can be one of the most anxiety-inducing things to do.

Between managing your child's expectations, RSVPs, presents, food and taking out a second mortgage to fund it - it's agonising stuff.

And now one mum has had to add another thing to the list when planning her daughter's special day... dealing with a teacher who called out her "exclusionary" guest list.

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She called her out for being a bully for not inviting the whole class. Image: IStock

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"It's not a party": The ceramics get-together with four close friends

In a now-viral post, the mother explained the controversy that led to her daughter's teacher calling her a "bully" for not inviting the whole class. 

She explains that her daughter is a "shy, booking, introvert" and only wanted to invite just four friends from her class as "some of her classmates are not very nice to her."

The mum explained that they don't typically throw "giant Instagram birthday parties," and so were planning to just take her daughter and her four friends to a paint-your-own-ceramics class and have ice cream. 

But word got out about the intimate party and things took a turn for the worse when the teacher got involved.

"I got an email from her teacher where she essentially called me out for my 'lack of inclusivity.' She said that she had gotten complaints from other kids in her class that my daughter was being a bully for only inviting certain people (re: her close friends) and the teacher told me that now I had to invite the whole class," she said.

But the mum noted that she "cannot afford to host a party for 30 kids or bring 30 kids to an activity."

She was also worried her daughter would get bullied at her own party and wanted it to be a safe space for her. "I politely told the teacher this and explained that it wasn't even a party but a get-together for her closest friends."

But that didn't stop angry parents from then emailing the mum and pressuring her for an invite.

"One even accused me of being discriminatory against their son because he has asthma.

"I’ve had 10 angry emails and I’m starting to think maybe I should invite all the kids in the spirit of inclusivity and have it in a park or something."

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"You need to report this teacher NOW!"

The post has now racked up over 8.2k upvotes and 1.8k comments, with many showing an overwhelming amount of support for the mum.

"It's not bullying to invite a couple of friends to a get-together, it might be if she invited lots of people but a couple of people... c'mon," one person remarked.

Another chimed in, saying, "OP need to report the teacher to the principal or school board. To ask that 25(!) more children get invited is just a joke. This teacher overstepped so much..."

"Oh HELL NO! NTA!!! You tell those parents if they had actually taught their kids to act nicely maybe they'd be getting invited. You have no intention of rewarding your daughter's bullies!!," another user stated.

Then this woman pointed out, "The entitlement of those parents is wild. It's a private event. They can't bully their way into it. It's her party, and she can have whoever she likes. How dare her teacher contact you and demand you invite other kids, I would seriously contact the school about that. It's massively inappropriate."

While this person pointed out, "Many primary schools have a policy that if invitations are handed out at school, the entire class should be invited. Inviting classmates to a party outside of school is fair game and not something the school should interfere in.

"I am assuming that since the four classmates are close friends, OP knows their parents and they were invited via another method."

Originally published as I got scolded by a teacher for not inviting 30 kids to a birthday party