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Nosey mums at the school gates won't stop asking me this invasive question

"Am I being oversensitive?" she asked. Please note, this article mentions sensitive topics. 

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A woman has taken to an online parenting forum to vent about a 'nosey' mum at the school gate.

"I'm third trimester pregnant, so it's fairly obvious I'm having another child," the woman said on Mumsnet, "But a nosey mum at school drop off asked me, 'Is this your last, or are you planning more after this?'"

She said this sort of comment "pissed her off to no end" and believes that other parents shouldn't be asking this sort of thing about family planning to people they aren't close with.

But not everyone agreed it was inappropriate and urged her to "let it go."

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"Our kids aren't best mates"

"Outside of pick-up and drop-off, I don't see her, speak to her, have her number, or even remember her name," the mum explained, saying she doesn't even think the other mum remembers hers.

"I just think of her as so and so's mum, whom my very young child sort of acknowledges but never talks about," she adds.

"Our kids aren't best mates or even old enough to have friends, really."

She concludes her post by asking "Why do people get off asking these questions?

"I said, 'Oh, I haven't even thought about that!' But what I wanted to say was @?$;&: off."

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"Let it go"

In the comments, unfortunately, the mum didn't get the support she had hoped for. "I think she was just making conversation," one mum told her.

Another said: "I don't think she genuinely cared, it's just chit chat," echoed another.

Image: IStock
Image: IStock

Someone else reasoned, "Since we had trouble having our own family, I have learnt not to ask these sorts of questions.

"However, it was someone trying to kill time and start a conversation with you on a fairly 'safe' (and obvious) topic.

"She was trying to be friendly no doubt. I'd let it go."

The mum then responded to some of the comments, saying: "Starting to think I am being unreasonable.

"I wouldn't dream of asking someone I wasn't good friends with this question, even before I had kids.

"I am absolutely planning to have more, but have had several miscarriages and trouble having the second, so not sure if a third will be possible and definitely don't want people to be aware I'll be trying.

"Maybe I have become oversensitive to this topic."

Someone replied to that, saying: "Definitely oversensitive - perfectly normal school-gate small talk."

Originally published as Nosey mums at the school gates won't stop asking me this invasive question

Original URL: https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/nosey-mums-at-the-school-gates-wont-stop-asking-me-this-invasive-question/news-story/099772c0d813713f3a9d6c831d159eb5