‘My parents didn’t attend my wedding; they’d rather attend my brother’s game’

“When I told my parents, they dismissed it with a ‘That’s nice’. I’m starting to think they downright didn’t listen to me at all.”

Ever since Gabby* was six years old, her little brother Jackson* has been like a thorn in her side. 

From the moment he was born, Gabby felt pushed to the side, and all attention went to him.

He is the favourite child of the family, hands down. It has been this way all her life, and it’s certainly not a secret in the family. 

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Gabby didn't get to share the biggest day of her life with her parents, Picture: iStock

“My parents never responded to the invite”

“Ever since he was born, my parents fussed over him for everything,” she told Reddit. 

“He’s not special needs or had a traumatic birth or anything of the sort. He was just… born. And my parents completely discarded me.”

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This is especially true for her mother, who went from a “loving mother to one of those boy mums that people make fun of on the internet”.  

While her dad “still showed me love and support” growing up, he was frequently shut down by her mum, who would put Jackson’s needs over everything. 

“The only one who stood for me was my grandpa, who always called my parents out on their bulls**t and never liked my brother,” she confessed. Unfortunately, he lives on the other side of the US, meaning they rarely get to see each other.

To make matters worse, her brother knows exactly what he is doing, and he revels in it. “[Jackson] knows our mum prefers him and loves to shove it in my face,” she said. “Because of this and his behaviour, we’ve always been at odds. 

“He’s spoiled, a brat and an awful human,” she spat. 

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So, after years of feeling rejected by her parents and a burning hatred for her brother, she knew that once she left home for university, she wouldn’t have to keep in contact with them as often. 

Which brings us to the topic at hand. 

About a year ago, Gabby’s long-term partner, Harry* popped the question. Being “private people”, the happy couple decided to forgo sharing the news across social media, instead sharing it with those they love the most. 

“When I told my parents, they dismissed it with a ‘That’s nice’,” Gabby said. “I’m starting to think they downright didn’t listen to me at all.” 

While she was disappointed, Gabby and Harry decided they’d host an intimate gathering for their nuptials, only inviting their closest friends and family.

Initially, Gabby didn’t want to send an invitation to her parents, who, frankly, didn’t seem a little bit interested in her big news; her fiance “convinced” her to invite them and her brother. 

“They never responded to the invite,” Gabby said. “And whenever I went to visit and began to talk about my wedding (without mentioning it was a wedding), my mum would always speak over me and about my brother’s accomplishments and wild adventures.”

By this point, Gabby was fed up, so she spat the dummy. 

“I interrupted my mum to tell her that there was an event I was planning to organise, whose date was unmovable,” she said. “She told me that they couldn’t attend because my brother was playing the last game of the season that very same day and wanted them to be there.”

This was no surprise to Gabby, who recalled her parents missing her “ballet shows and both my high school and university graduations for things about him”. 

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So when the wedding finally rolled around, everything went off without a hitch. “It was perfect,” Gabby recalled. “My family, [Harry’s] family and our friends were all there, and we had a blast. My grandpa was happy to give me away, and it was just perfect.”

But, of course, three significant people were missing - a fact that relatives pointed out to Gabby all evening. “I was honest and simply said they had my brother’s game to attend and couldn’t come,” she said. “They gave me a few looks, and my grandpa was visibly angry for a while, but otherwise, nothing strange happened.”

Fast forward to the couple’s honeymoon; Gabby and Harry switched off their phones so they could relax during their trip, only to return to a barrage of messages, missed calls and threatening texts. 

“Most of them were from my mother and brother,” Gabby said, explaining that Jackson called her “all sorts of nasty names and insulted me”. It turns out that relatives began posting photos of the wedding day on their social media, starting an enormous feud within the family. 

“It also turns out that my grandpa personally visited my parents to go on a tirade to shame my father, his son, to the point of tears,” she said. 

“And this seemed to be my father’s breaking point because he was so distraught for missing his only daughter’s wedding and for his father’s disapproval that he finally rebelled against my mum and is threatening divorce unless she makes it up to me.” 

The family has since splintered into three separate groups: “The majority who is sticking by my side, my maternal aunts shaming me for hurting my mum’s feelings, and my maternal grandparents who are adamant that I forgive my mum in light of her ‘atonement’.” 

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“You tried to tell her and sent an invite. She chose your brother”

Everyone on Reddit was shaken by what they had just read, with the majority of the community pleading with Gabby to go no contact with her family. 

“I cannot comprehend this!” someone shouted. “I'd be incredibly petty and just [go no contact] your parents and your mum's family,” said another. “See how they like being ignored.”

Others told Gabby to keep her chin up and keep moving forward. It was the family’s decision to ignore the wedding invitation, so there wasn’t much Gabby could do. 

“You tried to tell her and sent an invite. She chose your brother,” a comment read. 

“I would block her and your aunts supporting her. Take a full break from her. If she can't read the invitation, that is on your Mother.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘My parents didn’t attend my wedding; they’d rather attend my brother’s game’