My MIL gives all her grandkids pocket money - except mine

"It just sounds like a lame excuse," the furious mum says.

A frustrated mum has taken to a private Facebook group after her child was seemingly excluded from her husband's mum's pocket money tradition. 

The anonymous Melbournian took to the page to ask for advice after realising that her MIL gives money to her other grandchildren, but not the couple's daughter.

"Would you say/do anything about this situation?" she asked the group.

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"Do I just chalk it up to grandparents playing favourites?"

"My husband's mother gives pocket money to her other grandchildren, but not my child," she began her post.

"My husband is from overseas, so when my child started kindergarten, we questioned it, and she said it's because school starts in year one in their country and she only gives pocket money to school kids."

But the OP didn't buy this justification, saying that her MIL visited when her child started primary school and even attended her first day of kindy. 

"Now my kid is in year one, grandma has done nothing and still not given a cent," she continued.

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"My husband refuses to raise it with her (in his eyes, she is God and can do no wrong). Meanwhile, my father does a regular monthly transfer into both my kids' accounts.

"Husband's parents are divorced and neither grandparent has ever given our children any money even though they are not hard up. For example, his father has promised my husband's siblings flights to Australia to visit us, but we spend thousands of dollars flying over every year and he hasn't promised us anything or given us anything for the flights."

She concluded: "Do I push my husband harder to ask his mother why our child is not getting pocket money from her? Or do I just chalk it up to grandparents playing favourites, even though they would vehemently deny this?"

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"Maybe the other kids need it more"

In the comments, the mum didn't quite get the sympathy she was hoping for.

"To be honest, I don't really enjoy the tone of this post," said one.

"I don't think grandparents are required to give your child anything but love when they see them. The notion that money is the important factor here is not great, in my opinion.

"If she gives money to other children, maybe there is a reason for it - do they have less money overall, are they in the same country as her, there are many reasons why. I understand that you see this as playing favourites or this being unfair, but I would just move on."

The mum replied: "It's not about the money per se, it's about treating all grandkids fairly. If she said in the past that 'only schoolkids get pocket money' she should keep to what she says. Now, it just sounds like a lame excuse."

But people didn't back down, with one writing, "Fairness isn't making everything equal, it's treating everyone according to their individual needs. Does your husband present himself to his parents as well off or a high-income earner? Maybe the other kids need it more."

"The entitlement in this post is really ew," another added bluntly. 

So the mum continued to explain her side.

"The other family is not in any financial difficulties and are comfortable financially. It seems a bit presumptuous to think that I would begrudge a poor family in financial difficulties a bit of pocket money," she wrote. "It is super patronising to post this as if I want more than our fair share."

While others saw her point of view, most people still advised her to just drop the issue.

"Yes, she is possibly playing favourites, and it could be privately viewed as ‘unfair’ from you as a mum wanting equal treatment for your kids, but it’s her money to do with as they like, and I would feel icky creating an issue out of it," one said.

"I'm sure she knows she's not contributing and hasn't just forgotten. It's not kind of her not to treat her grandchildren unequally, but it is her money, her choice," another concluded.

Originally published as My MIL gives all her grandkids pocket money - except mine