'My in-laws ruined my daughter's birth with this invasive act'

“I was mortified and enraged,” the heartbroken new mum said.

Laura Jackel

4 min read

July 15, 2024 - 7:01PM

Image: iStock.

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A new mum has been left utterly heartbroken after her “overbearing” in-laws ruined the birth of her first baby, a girl named Lily.

“My husband and I have been over the moon but our joy was ruined by an incident with my in-laws that I can't get over,” the woman explains in a post that has been viewed thousands of times on a popular forum.

For context, the original poster (OP) explains how her in-laws, who she refers to as Karen and Bob, have always been overly intrusive but that she has tried to be civil for the sake of her husband.

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"Constantly criticised my choices"

“Throughout my pregnancy, Karen constantly criticised my choices, from my diet to my birth plan.

“She insisted on being in the delivery room, which I firmly declined. She threw a fit, claiming she had every right to be there as the grandmother, but I stood my ground.”

The new mum said that when she got to the hospital and was in labour, things began to unravel.

“Everything was progressing normally until I was about to start pushing. That's when the door burst open, and Karen and Bob barged in, having lied to the nurses to gain access. I was in the middle of a contraction, in immense pain, and suddenly had my in-laws in my face, shouting ‘encouragement’ and trying to film the birth on their phones.

“I was mortified and enraged. I screamed at them to get out, but they refused, saying they had a right to be there. My husband tried to get them to leave, but they wouldn't budge. The nurses and the other hospital staff had to physically remove them from the room.”

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"They posted photos on social media"

Their arrival and the stress and delay it caused subsequently meant that the mum ended up in theatre needing an emergency C-section. The in-laws were unapologetic.

“They actually had the nerve to post about the birth on social media, including pictures they took during the chaos, without our consent.

“They announced her name and details before we had a chance to, and even worse, they shared a picture of me they clicked while I was in the delivery room earlier (before the emergency C-section) trying to push.”

Unsurprisingly the mum was heartbroken as her private, special moment with her husband had been violated. She decided then and there that they wouldn’t see Lily until they showed genuine remorse and apologised.

"They demanded a visit"

“When we got home from the hospital, they demanded a visit. I told them they were not welcome and explained why. Karen blew up, saying I was being ‘cruel’ to deny them their rights as grandparents.

“My husband is supportive but torn because they are his parents. They’ve since started a smear campaign against me to the rest of the family, painting me as the villain who’s keeping their grandchild away for no good reason.”

The mum goes on to write how she is now getting messages and calls from her husband’s sisters accusing her of being “heartless and unforgiving” and demanding that she apologise to Karen and Bob for having them thrown out of the delivery room.

“Every time I think about what they did, I get so angry and upset,” the woman explains.

“I don’t trust them, and I don’t want them around my daughter until they truly understand and regret the pain they caused.”

The thousands of comments are supportive of the OP and empathic towards her experience and ongoing family dilemma.

“Your in-laws' behaviour was unacceptable, and you are justified in not wanting them near your daughter until they apologise and show genuine remorse,” writes one user.

“ You are not obligated to forgive them for their actions.”

"I would never forgive them"

Another adds: “Sorry but I would never forgive or forget about this, they pushed you into a C- section for their own warped self absorption, then posted it on social media - disgusting behaviour.”

A third takes it to the next level explaining just how harmful their actions were.

“They're abusive. They ruined the birth, and could have nearly killed the baby if things had gone slightly more wrong, all because of their entitlement and the stress they caused to get their way.

“They don't respect you, I'm starting to think your husband doesn't either, or maybe he doesn't quite understand the gravity of this situation.

“ I feel like it's a risk to even consider being around them. The way they act out when their authority is challenged is dangerous.”