‘My husband is insisting I have a vaginal birth, not a caesarean’

“He’s normally a lovely guy, I don’t understand why he wants me to take away my choice,” the worried mum reveals.

The mum-to-be wanted to give birth her own way. Photo: iStock

The way a woman gives birth is a very personal matter.

Sometimes you get to choose: you make a birth plan, things run pretty smoothly and you have your baby as expected.

And sometimes things go totally pear-shaped.

For my first child, I gave birth in a birth centre with no pain relief as planned. It all went swimmingly until I lost almost three litres of blood and ended up in intensive care for a week. My second and third were emergency caesareans, and definitely not to plan.

No matter what way a woman ends up giving birth, it shouldn’t be up to anyone but her how she does it (with the advice of midwives and doctors, of course).

Leanne is worried for her friend because the husband is insisting she have a natural birth.

“Is it normal for my friend’s husband to insist on a vaginal birth and not a caesarean,” she asked on the forum, Mumsnet.

“Why would he care either way?”

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The mum-to-be wanted to give birth her own way. Photo: iStock

Husband insists wife has vaginal birth

Leanne was perplexed.

“She has a low pain tolerance and doesn’t want to experience the most painful thing that can happen to a woman,” she said.

“He’s absolutely lovely and basically a perfect partner in every conceivable way, which is why it’s slightly out of character.”

The comments were unanimous: Leanne’s friend’s husband should stay out of it.

“No uterus, no opinion,” one person said.

“If he’s the one giving birth he gets to choose,” said another. “Otherwise it’s 100 percent up to her.”

“Insist??? Or what?” was another person’s incredulous reply.

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“Keep that friend very close and watch carefully,” a fourth person cautioned. “A man like that is a red flag. Could be he’s just a dick. But could be a lot more.”

One person pointed out that a caesarean is hardly a pain-free choice.

“Her birth, her choice, however a c-section is not pain-free by any means,” she said. “You have major abdominal surgery that takes weeks/months to recover from and is painful for far longer (but not as intense).”

Originally published as ‘My husband is insisting I have a vaginal birth, not a caesarean’