'My friends all shunned me when I gave up the drink, but I wanted to be a better mum'

“As a child I felt so disheartened when I needed to connect with my mum, but I came second to alcohol and my problems didn’t matter. I didn’t want my kids to feel that way.”

It was just a regular weekend party on a remote cattle property when Brittany Flinn almost lost her life.

Like everyone else there, she was very drunk after downing the contents of a bottle of rum.

Walking along the veranda with swag in arms looking for a place to sleep, she fell over an esky and landed on a broken glass before tumbling off the balcony four metres to the ground.

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“Everyone else was equally inebriated, and with no phone reception and 4WD-access only, no one really knew what to do,” the 35-year-old tells Kidspot.

As Brittany lay with a cut down to the bone and muscle and skin hanging off her leg below the knee, friends tried to stem the bleeding.

Eventually someone made the decision to jump in the car to get phone reception and call for help. A friend came from an hour away and drove Brittany to the hospital. 

“I could have died,” she shares.

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A near death experience was one of the catalysts for Brittany to give up the drink. Picture: Supplied

"Two or three wines a night was normal"

Despite the trauma, alcohol remained a staple of everyday life for Brittany and her husband James.

“Having a wine or beer every night was non-negotiable. I did it unconsciously and so did James,” the Glen Innes mum of three states.

“The cue was as soon as my husband walked in the door, he’d go straight to the fridge without even saying hello and it would be time to drink, it was our nightly ritual.

“Two beers and two or three wines a night and that was just normal.

“My mum was a high functioning alcoholic, so I had no idea of what an alcohol problem was. I thought it was drinking a whole bottle of wine and passing out on the couch.”

Brittany felt a wine or two after a hard day running around after three children was her reward.

“I saw a Facebook group, Mummy Needs Wine and I realised I’d been sucked into mummy wine culture,” she shares.

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Reading the posts on the group she realised mums were using wine to cope with the stresses of motherhood.

“The biggest kicker was when I was reading a thread with mums complaining about how badly their children were behaving and everyone said just to have a wine,” she says.

“I realised I had once been that child needing my mum’s connection and love and here I was repeating the cycle.

“As a child I felt so disheartened when I needed to connect with my mum, but I came second to alcohol and my problems didn’t matter.

“I didn’t want my kids to feel that way.”

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Brittany and her husband James. Picture: Supplied

"I stopped getting invited to parties"

A few drinks in the evening meant copious amounts of coffee the next day to cope and then, being strung out on caffeine after looking after kids, wine became necessary to wind down again.

“I realised I didn’t even know myself without a substance in my body,” Brittany says.

It was time to stop and re-evaluate how she was interacting with her kids and her health.

But when she announced on Facebook on New Year’s Day 2023 that she was giving up drinking she didn’t expect the backlash that followed.

“I stopped getting invited to parties. People couldn’t believe that I didn’t want to drink. I must be pregnant, they thought,” she laughs.

“I heard rumours that I was drinking in secret at parties and people saw me drunk at weddings.

“Family encouraged me to let my hair down and have just one. I felt unsupported.”

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Brittany with two of her children. Picture: Supplied

"I'm paying attention to my body"

Although she’s no longer the good time party girl, Brittany says she’s become a better, more focused parent and more attuned to herself and her health.

“It has forced me to take care of myself properly because I can’t use wine to wind down. I’ve started yoga and am paying attention to my body. When I’m getting strung out, I’ll talk to a friend or read a book or spend time outside,” she explains.

“Having regular alcohol also affected my sex life. I was never truly sober when I was having sex, and neither was James so we could never be really present.

“Since stopping drinking my sex life has exploded, we have much better and deeper sex. When I was drinking it was just another job to do and it was over quickly.” 

Brittany says she’s lost 10kg and her skin is now clear and so is her mind.

The charity Sober in the Country has been instrumental in helping her kick the habit.

Originally published as 'My friends all shunned me when I gave up the drink, but I wanted to be a better mum'