‘My daughter’s stepmum is now my BFF'

“We’ll have a wine and watch The Bachelor together,” the Melbourne mum reveals of her surprise friendship. “I co-parent with her mostly and not my ex and it works so much better.”

Josephine Agostino

3 min read

July 11, 2024 - 12:17PM

Family Life

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When her daughter, Savannah was born, Jacqui expected to be her sole parent her entire life.

Savannah’s father, Ethan, walked out on Jacqui when she was six months pregnant after the former couple just conceived a month into their ill-fated relationship.

The Melbourne mum had no choice but to raise her little girl on her own - but that was until Ethan’s return into their lives when she was 18 months old, this time with his now wife, Steph, and their newborn son, who was born a day before Savannah’s first birthday.

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“[Ethan and I] didn’t have a good relationship at the start,” Jacqui tells Kidspot of becoming a co-parent with her ex after parenting completely on her own for the first year of her daughter’s life.

“There was a lot of hate and resentment on both sides, and we yelled a lot back then. In the beginning, I didn’t want Steph to just walk in and be a stepmum after I had raised Savannah alone for so long. It was hard to accept my daughter having another family.”

Jacqui and Savannah with her stepmum Steph. Picture: Supplied

"She helped us got to a good point"

Thankfully, that toxic pattern didn’t last long - and Jacqui credits Steph with being the instrument of change in the dynamic.

“It wasn’t until I began communicating about co-parenting with Steph that things really improved for everyone,” Jacqui says.

“If Ethan and I would disagree, she would be the peacemaker and see things from both sides. Her intentions were always very good and it became clear that the solution was for her and I to be the ones to organise everything about the kids.

"Ethan and I are fine now and she helped us so much to get to this point.”

The two women have become best friend's despite the strange circumstances. Picture: Supplied

"If I could pick anyone to be Savannah's stepmum, it's her"

Jacqui says Steph - who is now a 30-year-old busy working mum to four boys aged 11 to 3 - immediately took on a loving and selfless stepmum role to Savannah without hesitation, and in the 10 years since they have been in each others’ lives and shared care of the now 12-year-old, that has never changed.

“She’s amazing,” the 33-year-old gushes.

“If I could pick anyone to be Savannah’s stepmum, it’s her. She does so much for her at home, and she’ll show up to school events, especially if I can’t get there. I don’t know how she does it all.”

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For Jacqui, who has two younger daughters, aged 3 and 5, with husband, Scott, having Steph “share the load” has been a lifesaver - and she appreciates it every single day.

“Even though Steph is a boy mum, she’s a lot better at doing Savannah’s hair than me and will come over to my house and do it, and do my hair as well when I’ve gone out,” she smiles.

“We share a calendar so we know what’s going on for each other all the time. She helps with the kids if I need to go to work early and we organise playgroups together.

"I’m so happy that we don’t have that stereotypical mum and stepmum relationship and we make it work so well for each other and the kids.”

Jacqui said she wouldn't choose anyone else to be her daughter's stepmum. Picture: Supplied

"We text every day"

The mums aren’t just close because they are in each other’s families - they have become genuine BFFs.

“Before I met my husband, I would go over to her and Ethan’s house and watch The

Bachelor and enjoy a glass of wine together after the kids were in bed,” she says.

“We text every day, and a lot of that has nothing to do with the kids. We buy each other gifts (not on behalf of the kids) and I’ll always ask her advice about clothing I want to buy.

“We have so much in common and we’re actually looking to see if we can have the same day off at work so we can hang out more.

"Nothing is ever an obligation or forced between us. We both say how crazy it is how we went from not speaking to this. She’s one of my best friends.”