My 8yo wasn’t invited to her best friend’s Halloween party and I’m devastated

“Well, I wanted to invite you to mine, I was just testing you to see if you would get mad.” 

Halloween is one of the most exciting times for kids around the world, and *Sarah’s eight-year-old daughter, Mila*, is no exception. 

Together with her best friend, Georgia*, the pair are inseparable and have always spent the final days of October together, dressing up in costumes and going trick or treating at Georgia’s annual party. 

This year would be no different, Mila thought. Even though she and her best friend aren’t in the same class, they still hang out every day at recess with their other group of friends. 

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Mila wasn't invited to her best friend's Halloween party. Source: iStock

8yo “tested” her friend by not inviting her to Halloween party

“They have a good size friend group, but it’s usually four of the same best buddies that consistently hang out,” American mum Sarah told Reddit, who is also friends with the kids’ mothers. 

One day after school, Mila received a phone call from her new friend, *Josie, who had only started at the school that year. 

Josie “squealed in excitement” as she had just been invited to Georgia’s Halloween party. 

“Are you excited, too?” the young girl asked Mila. “My daughter said she didn’t know about it,” Sarah said. 

Confused, Josie sent Georgia a message confirming if Mila was invited, only to be told, “Maybe.” 

It’s safe to say Mila was “crushed” by the lack of invitation, but this was made worse when she spotted her friends talking in a private group chat dubbed “Halloween Party Group Chat.” 

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In an effort to reduce Mila’s heartbreak, her mum made a suggestion. 

“Hey, we have been wanting to do a party for years,” she told her daughter. “Let’s have a craft and baking party for your friends during the day and turn it into a family and friends Halloween party at night.”

That lifted the mood, and Mila was so excited about the change in plans she decided to inform some friends about it the next day, even though no official date had been scheduled. 

Perhaps predictably, the news quickly travelled to Georgia, who approached Mila one day during recess.

“Why are you having a party on my party date?” she asked, but Mila argued it wasn’t the same date. “Well, I wanted to invite you to mine, I was just testing you to see if you would get mad,” the best friend said in return. 

Although Mila wanted to keep things cool and “sweep it all under the rug”, Mum Sarah has the opposite approach. She has earmarked this interaction as textbook manipulation and feels “very hurt” on behalf of her little girl. 

“I’m concerned with the control aspect,” she said. “Testing someone for their reaction is really odd, but it also sounds like a made-up excuse for not wanting to invite her for some reason.”

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“Teach your daughter to be the bigger person”

This was the perfect chance to learn an important lesson, people on Reddit decided. 

“If you aren't invited, don't go,” read a suggestion. “If you aren't told, don't ask.”

“Teach your daughter to be the bigger person and treat people how she would like to be treated,” added another. “But also, have a convo with her about bullying, manipulation and mean girls. Sounds like her friend is a mean girl in the making and testing the boundaries.”

A mix of responses indicated Mila should avoid attending the party, as it may lead to more heartbreak. “I would advise you to not let your daughter go to [Georgia’s] party. I don’t think she will be treated well,” read a comment. 

But others suggested getting the parents involved, as the school girl may have been acting “stupid” by “testing” her friend without actually meaning any harm. 

“It sounds like time for a casual conversation with Georgia’s parents about upcoming get-togethers,” someone recommended. “Children this young aren’t reliable with invites and can be temperamental anyway.”

“As a parent, I would touch base with the other parent just in case there was a slip-up, lost invite etc,” another wrote. 

“It has happened to us both ways when giving out invites at school. You would be surprised. It doesn’t always need to be a lesson in how rough life can be.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My 8yo wasn’t invited to her best friend’s Halloween party and I’m devastated