I've got a 'Velcro baby' and I don't know what to do

"He will lose it, screaming, howling. I just want to disappear."

A mother has shared her desperation with her 'clingy baby', asking other parents what to do with a child who always wants to be held.

Her online post attracted hundreds of empathetic comments, with one even helpfully normalising the experience by describing the infant as a 'Velcro baby' who will cry unless adhered to its mum.

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"I can't cook or eat or shower"

The overwhelmed mum writes:

"Everything I read online says you cannot leave your baby to cry. I obviously have always tried to avoid this.

"He's now 10 months and goes absolutely crazy if I am not with him. He does sleep at night but in the day it is non stop. I can't cook or eat or shower. My partner works away in the week and this can't be changed. No family nearby and nobody local to help unless we paid.

"What am I supposed to do? Even if he's in his highchair and I start cooking he will lose it, wants to get out, then I take him to the playpen and go back to cook and again he's screaming, howling. I just want to disappear."

Image: iStock

"I also had a 'Velcro Baby'"

Mums filled the comments section with reassurance that the situation was a 'phase'. 

"You can leave your baby to cry. If you are coping, just leave them for a bit. It won't harm them," one wrote.

"I also had a 'Velcro baby', and I just wore them in a carrier most of the time."

Others promised it was ok for the baby to cry sometimes, with this mum saying, "They mean you shouldn't leave them to cry for a long time, not that they should never cry. Put him down where he can see you, is safe, and has toys and have your shower, cook, etc. He'll cry, but he'll be fine."

One mum was very direct with her advice: "People with easy babies make up nonsense rules," to which another replied, "This! I'm a single parent, seriously would have lived in a hovel/starved/died of sleep deprivation/never washed if I'd never let my baby cry at some point!

"If they're safe, warm, not unwell, not hungry etc it's absolutely fine to leave them to cry so you can do all the other essential things that need doing including selfcare!!"

Finally, this kind woman shared, "This is a phase. He will figure out that he's not being abandoned every time you're out of sight and he will learn to keep playing or just sit and watch you. It will get better.

"And again, he is not being damaged if he cries while you make yourself tea and toast. Of course you need to eat and shower, even if it makes him grumpy.

"You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Originally published as I've got a 'Velcro baby' and I don't know what to do