‘I invited a boy to my house without realising he was bullying my kids’

“I found out he calls my kids stupid, tells them he won’t invite them to his birthday… he even told my daughter he’d kill her,” the worried mum reveals.

When Patricia promised a family that she’d look after their five-year-old son, Xavier, after school every day, she had no idea she was inviting a bully into her home.

Patricia has two kids, a son the same age as Xavier and a three-year-old daughter, and at first she thought the agreement was no problem.

Xavier’s parents didn’t finish work in time to pick him up from school, and Xavier and her son were friends anyway, so it felt like a win-win.

Until she heard what Xavier was saying to her kids.

“He picks on my youngest daughter, saying he is going to kill her and trying to get my oldest son to support him until my daughter cries,” she said in a Reddit post.  

“He constantly tries to put my children down, calls them stupid, says he won’t invite them to their birthday.”

Since she had committed to helping Xavier’s parents, Patricia didn’t want to leave them in the lurch, but she also knew she needed to protect her kids.

Xavier had been coming to their house for a week, and the situation was only getting worse.

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Patricia felt conflicted because she'd promised to look after Xavier, but he was bullying her kids. Photo: iStock

Reddit tells mum to stop babysitting bully

The Reddit community was united in their advice: Patricia should stop babysitting Xavier immediately.

“That child wouldn’t be allowed in my house,” one person said. “I would also sit down with his parents and fully explain my reasoning behind that decision. Their child needs help. But that’s not your responsibility.”

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“I don’t understand why it isn’t perfectly clear to you that this boy shouldn’t be allowed in your home for many reasons, but especially because he told your three-year-old he was going to kill her,” said another. “Call his parents and say, ‘I can’t take care of him anymore’. That’s it. Boom. Done.”

“This kid is not your responsibility,” said a third person. “Your children's mental and physical health is.”

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In the end, Patricia decided to end the relationship and tell Xavier’s parents that she couldn’t watch him anymore.

“I said that our kids seemed to get along just fine before but after this arrangement their kid changed his behaviour.

“They asked if I could share specific situations, so I did. They seemed a little bummed and oddly, said he is indeed very sensitive and could be uncomfortable being alone with us and he likes to please people."

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘I invited a boy to my house without realising he was bullying my kids’